I don't have much today folks- and why should I? I wrote a lot this week!
But I was reminded of this excellent SNL skit featuring Pacey, Will Ferrell, and Horatio Sanz. This is pretty close to how private gigs go for me on a regular basis.
Snl - I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight by Allymac_cimus
A special shout out to G$ for turning 31 today. Way to beat the odds and make it past an even 30. He tangled with two cans of Four Loko and lived to tell the tale. Impressive stuff!
Friday, September 30, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
90s Rock: Best Songs (Part 3)
Continuing on from last week- here are more of my favorite 90s songs. I could probably do this list 100 times and get 100 different lists, but it's still fun to listen to the songs as I attempt the making of the list.
11) "Rosealia" by Better Than Ezra
I still feel like BTE is a highly underrated band. I know they occasionally stray into a country-ish twang, but how can you go wrong with "Deluxe" or "Friction, Baby?" Answer: you can't. "Rosealia" just makes me feel good (wah-o, wah-o, wah... good! [Ok, I know that was lame.]) Seriously though, I am consistently glad when this song comes on and I never change the station if it happens to grace to airwaves on my radio.
12) "This Is A Call" by Foo Fighters
I think nostalgia has a ton to do with this song making the list. I remember when I first heard "Dave Grohl's new band" on the radio. This was the first single and I was blown away. I was still sad about the loss of Kurt Cobain's suicide and Dave Grohl came in to fill the musical void that the absence of Nirvana had created. This song rocks hard and is worth a careful re-listen to realize just how fantastic it really is.
13) "Plowed" by Sponge
Sponge had a few hits, but none of them are quite as good as this song. It starts with a sick lead guitar line and never lets up until it concludes. Say a prayer for me and anyone else from the 90s that happened to be in a mosh pit during this song.
14) "My Name Is Jonas" by Weezer
How great is this song?! So simple, yet with so much depth. Much like "Rosealia," this song just makes me feel better in any context. Weezer bring catchy hooks- it's what they do best.
"Perfect" by Smashing Pumpkins
They have so many great songs, but this one stands out to me. It is a melancholy love song with a very weird video that I can't say is all that great. The song, however, is my favorite in the entire catalog of Smashing Pumpkins (which of course, contains many other great songs.) Enjoy this awful music video.
---
I've got five more for next week. I really do love talking about 90s music, even if it is impossible to make a truly accurate list, I stand behind all of these songs as awesome.
11) "Rosealia" by Better Than Ezra
I still feel like BTE is a highly underrated band. I know they occasionally stray into a country-ish twang, but how can you go wrong with "Deluxe" or "Friction, Baby?" Answer: you can't. "Rosealia" just makes me feel good (wah-o, wah-o, wah... good! [Ok, I know that was lame.]) Seriously though, I am consistently glad when this song comes on and I never change the station if it happens to grace to airwaves on my radio.
12) "This Is A Call" by Foo Fighters
I think nostalgia has a ton to do with this song making the list. I remember when I first heard "Dave Grohl's new band" on the radio. This was the first single and I was blown away. I was still sad about the loss of Kurt Cobain's suicide and Dave Grohl came in to fill the musical void that the absence of Nirvana had created. This song rocks hard and is worth a careful re-listen to realize just how fantastic it really is.
13) "Plowed" by Sponge
Sponge had a few hits, but none of them are quite as good as this song. It starts with a sick lead guitar line and never lets up until it concludes. Say a prayer for me and anyone else from the 90s that happened to be in a mosh pit during this song.
14) "My Name Is Jonas" by Weezer
How great is this song?! So simple, yet with so much depth. Much like "Rosealia," this song just makes me feel better in any context. Weezer bring catchy hooks- it's what they do best.
"Perfect" by Smashing Pumpkins
They have so many great songs, but this one stands out to me. It is a melancholy love song with a very weird video that I can't say is all that great. The song, however, is my favorite in the entire catalog of Smashing Pumpkins (which of course, contains many other great songs.) Enjoy this awful music video.
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I've got five more for next week. I really do love talking about 90s music, even if it is impossible to make a truly accurate list, I stand behind all of these songs as awesome.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Catching Hell Impressions
I watched most of the ESPN documentary "Catching Hell" yesterday. It recounted the events of the 2003 NLCS Game 6's 8th inning. If you recall, this is when fan Steve Bartman interfered with Cubs' Left Fielder Moises Alou causing Alou to not catch a foul ball for an out. At the time, the Cubs were leading the dastardly Florida Marlins 3-0 with 1 out in the 8th inning. After the non-out, the Cubs went on to give up 8 runs to the Marlins before the Top of the 8th inning concluded.
Most of you know all that. As a huge Cubs fan, I was livid at the time. I am certain I was angry at "that fan who interfered" and "caused the Cubs to lose." Forget about sure-handed Shortstop Alex Gonzales who made an error just after the Bartman incident. Most of the anger of Cub fans was directed at one of our own. I know I myself said some things I'm not proud of (albeit in the comfort of my own home in California rather than at Wrigley hurling insults/beers at a stunned Bartman.) 8 years later, I'd like to think I have a better perspective on the whole situation. At least, I hope I do.
Steve Bartman is not public enemy #1. In fact, he's nowhere near the top of the list. He's a fan that was accidentally thrust into an unfortunate situation. Had the Cubs continued on and won that game, or Game 7, he'd be a footnote of history. Instead, the Cubs were the ones that made Bartman infamous.
With no such thing as the Curse of the Goat (or Scapegoat), who is to blame? Well, let's take a look at some other butt-holes that have not earned their share of historical ire.
- Moises Alou - But Prime! How could you put him on the list!? He was interfered with and would have caught the ball had Bartman not been there! Nope. That's not true. You can see a whole host of moronic spectators diving at the ball. Fans are not expected to be as mentally involved in the game as the players. Hell, with Old Style vendors trolling the aisles all game, its a wonder no fan has fallen over the left field wall diving for a ball in play. Moises gets on this list because he lost his cool. He pounded his glove like a Little Leaguer who was told he can't have Frosty Boy after the game. His death-look back to Bartman had a mental chain reaction on the rest of the Cubs team who, up until that point, were mentally cruising. I contend that Alou's overreaction to not catching the foul ball caused the rest of the Cubs (including Mark Prior) to become overly aware of just how big the moment was. The team freaked out, lost its cool, and ultimately, allowed the Marlins to score 8 runs before the inning was over (yes, I'm aware I've mentioned that fact more than once. It still hurts.)
Also, what a fucking douche Alou is for admitting he bought a plane ticket to the Dominican after Game 6. Nice mental toughness, asshole.
- Alex Gonzales - I already mentioned Gonzales above. He led all NL Shortstops in fielding percentage in 2003. Yet, he drops a simple ground ball that could've been a double play ball to end the inning. If nothing else, he should've gotten a force out at third or second.
Gonzales made Baseball Mistake #1 by trying to throw the ball before he had fielded it. I believe Alou's tantrum somewhat caused Gonzales' error. Again, Gonzales was all too aware of how big that moment was and he freaked/choked/or whatever word you'd like to use.
- Mark Prior - One could make an argument that Mark Prior was the best pitcher in baseball in 2003 (maybe Jason Schmidt was, but Prior was filthy!) For 7 and 1/3 innings, the Marlins couldn't touch Prior. After Alou's tantrum, Prior began serving up pitches for the Marlins like he was a waiter at Harry Caray's restaurant. This could very well be the moment was Prior's arm gave out for good as he never was the same again. My #1 man-crush for many years and one of my favorite Cubs ever, I loved Prior. I owned at least 4 jerseys of his. Unfortunately, a lot of blame does go to him (or maybe my next candidate) for this historic loss.
- Dusty Baker - Ah, Dusty. You were a victim of your own success in Chicago. It is a bummer. However, let's go back to your last year in San Francisco. With 8 outs away from a World Series title, you pulled Russ Ortiz in favor of Felix "The Towel" Rodriguez. (My Giants fan friends called him "The Towel" because they were throwing in the towel when Fe-Rod was put into the game.)
After that disastrous decision, you overcompensated the following year by leaving Prior in too long!!! Hey, I get it, you rode Prior and Wood all season like they were your own private thoroughbreds. They were going to break down at some point. I guess it was to be expected. It is just so unfortunate that it had to happen right then and there.
- Bernie Mac - Look, as a Cubs fan, I don't believe in any curse. I do believe that mentally, there is a shit-ton of pressure on any player on the North-side to be part of the team that ultimately wins the Cubs' first World Series in over 100 years. However, if we are going to get all Stevie Wonder, then Bartman still isn't the first person to blame. Bernie Mac has more responsibility in this situation than any non-player.
You see, Bernie Mac sang the 7th Inning Stretch right before the Top of the 8th Inning Collapse. While Mac was a Chicagoan, he was a fucking White Sox fan! On top of that, he changed the line, "Root, root, root for the Cubbies" to "Root, root, root for the champs." What are you doing, ass-clown!?! You can't do that! Sing the song the way it is supposed to be sung! If I ever am famous or lucky enough to sing that song at Wrigley, I know exactly how to do it. Don't change any line, and only scream, "Let's get some runs!" if the Cubs are losing at the time you sing it. That's it. Simple right? Maybe if Mac was actually a Cub fan, he would've known. Instead, he brought the ultimate jinx. I remember immediately screaming, "What are you doing!?" right after he made that error.
Side note: I may have mentioned this before, but if you go back and watch the aforementioned Giants' 2002 collapse in Game 6 of the World Series, there is an ad for "The Bernie Mac Show" on the backstop. I contend that Bernie Mac followed Dusty Baker around to jinx him specifically, rather than the Cubs or Giants. I have a feeling that Bernie is still playing "ghost defense" on Dusty currently.
- The Marlins - Hey, remember the team that actually beat the New York Yankees in the 2003 World Series? Remember when Josh Beckett was unhittable and Pudge Rodriguez was the most clutch hitting catch in the history of mankind? Remember when Ugueth Urbina made out with everyone after winning games then attacked a guy with a flame thrower? That's right, the Marlins were actually a pretty damn good team at the time. Juan Pierre and Luis Castillo were on-base machines. Mike Lowell and Jeff Conine were unstoppable. Even Brad Penny and Carl Pavano was savages. Everyone thinks the Cubs passively let these guys walk into the World Series and then apparently the Yankees just laid down. I'm here to admit that yes, the Cubs had a chance to beat the Fish, but ultimately, the team from Florida with no actual fans was better than the Cubs that year.
---
So there you go. I hold no hard feelings toward Steve Bartman. It was a bad situation. Now, whether I "forgive" Bartman is irrelevant. I wonder if he forgives Cub fans for what they did to him for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
 |
| "Doh!" |
Steve Bartman is not public enemy #1. In fact, he's nowhere near the top of the list. He's a fan that was accidentally thrust into an unfortunate situation. Had the Cubs continued on and won that game, or Game 7, he'd be a footnote of history. Instead, the Cubs were the ones that made Bartman infamous.
With no such thing as the Curse of the Goat (or Scapegoat), who is to blame? Well, let's take a look at some other butt-holes that have not earned their share of historical ire.
- Moises Alou - But Prime! How could you put him on the list!? He was interfered with and would have caught the ball had Bartman not been there! Nope. That's not true. You can see a whole host of moronic spectators diving at the ball. Fans are not expected to be as mentally involved in the game as the players. Hell, with Old Style vendors trolling the aisles all game, its a wonder no fan has fallen over the left field wall diving for a ball in play. Moises gets on this list because he lost his cool. He pounded his glove like a Little Leaguer who was told he can't have Frosty Boy after the game. His death-look back to Bartman had a mental chain reaction on the rest of the Cubs team who, up until that point, were mentally cruising. I contend that Alou's overreaction to not catching the foul ball caused the rest of the Cubs (including Mark Prior) to become overly aware of just how big the moment was. The team freaked out, lost its cool, and ultimately, allowed the Marlins to score 8 runs before the inning was over (yes, I'm aware I've mentioned that fact more than once. It still hurts.)
Also, what a fucking douche Alou is for admitting he bought a plane ticket to the Dominican after Game 6. Nice mental toughness, asshole.
- Alex Gonzales - I already mentioned Gonzales above. He led all NL Shortstops in fielding percentage in 2003. Yet, he drops a simple ground ball that could've been a double play ball to end the inning. If nothing else, he should've gotten a force out at third or second.
Gonzales made Baseball Mistake #1 by trying to throw the ball before he had fielded it. I believe Alou's tantrum somewhat caused Gonzales' error. Again, Gonzales was all too aware of how big that moment was and he freaked/choked/or whatever word you'd like to use.
- Mark Prior - One could make an argument that Mark Prior was the best pitcher in baseball in 2003 (maybe Jason Schmidt was, but Prior was filthy!) For 7 and 1/3 innings, the Marlins couldn't touch Prior. After Alou's tantrum, Prior began serving up pitches for the Marlins like he was a waiter at Harry Caray's restaurant. This could very well be the moment was Prior's arm gave out for good as he never was the same again. My #1 man-crush for many years and one of my favorite Cubs ever, I loved Prior. I owned at least 4 jerseys of his. Unfortunately, a lot of blame does go to him (or maybe my next candidate) for this historic loss.
- Dusty Baker - Ah, Dusty. You were a victim of your own success in Chicago. It is a bummer. However, let's go back to your last year in San Francisco. With 8 outs away from a World Series title, you pulled Russ Ortiz in favor of Felix "The Towel" Rodriguez. (My Giants fan friends called him "The Towel" because they were throwing in the towel when Fe-Rod was put into the game.)
After that disastrous decision, you overcompensated the following year by leaving Prior in too long!!! Hey, I get it, you rode Prior and Wood all season like they were your own private thoroughbreds. They were going to break down at some point. I guess it was to be expected. It is just so unfortunate that it had to happen right then and there.
- Bernie Mac - Look, as a Cubs fan, I don't believe in any curse. I do believe that mentally, there is a shit-ton of pressure on any player on the North-side to be part of the team that ultimately wins the Cubs' first World Series in over 100 years. However, if we are going to get all Stevie Wonder, then Bartman still isn't the first person to blame. Bernie Mac has more responsibility in this situation than any non-player.
You see, Bernie Mac sang the 7th Inning Stretch right before the Top of the 8th Inning Collapse. While Mac was a Chicagoan, he was a fucking White Sox fan! On top of that, he changed the line, "Root, root, root for the Cubbies" to "Root, root, root for the champs." What are you doing, ass-clown!?! You can't do that! Sing the song the way it is supposed to be sung! If I ever am famous or lucky enough to sing that song at Wrigley, I know exactly how to do it. Don't change any line, and only scream, "Let's get some runs!" if the Cubs are losing at the time you sing it. That's it. Simple right? Maybe if Mac was actually a Cub fan, he would've known. Instead, he brought the ultimate jinx. I remember immediately screaming, "What are you doing!?" right after he made that error.
Side note: I may have mentioned this before, but if you go back and watch the aforementioned Giants' 2002 collapse in Game 6 of the World Series, there is an ad for "The Bernie Mac Show" on the backstop. I contend that Bernie Mac followed Dusty Baker around to jinx him specifically, rather than the Cubs or Giants. I have a feeling that Bernie is still playing "ghost defense" on Dusty currently.
- The Marlins - Hey, remember the team that actually beat the New York Yankees in the 2003 World Series? Remember when Josh Beckett was unhittable and Pudge Rodriguez was the most clutch hitting catch in the history of mankind? Remember when Ugueth Urbina made out with everyone after winning games then attacked a guy with a flame thrower? That's right, the Marlins were actually a pretty damn good team at the time. Juan Pierre and Luis Castillo were on-base machines. Mike Lowell and Jeff Conine were unstoppable. Even Brad Penny and Carl Pavano was savages. Everyone thinks the Cubs passively let these guys walk into the World Series and then apparently the Yankees just laid down. I'm here to admit that yes, the Cubs had a chance to beat the Fish, but ultimately, the team from Florida with no actual fans was better than the Cubs that year.
---
So there you go. I hold no hard feelings toward Steve Bartman. It was a bad situation. Now, whether I "forgive" Bartman is irrelevant. I wonder if he forgives Cub fans for what they did to him for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Let's Talk TV
For starters, I was unable to overcome the 5 point deficit against the Boston Teabags yesterday. Rex Grossman was not terrible enough to make get me over the top. Oh well. I'm 2-1 in that league and I have a feeling my team will be just fine. I would've beaten every other team in the league. Fucking fantasy football.
Let's talk some TV today. I'm not even going to pretend I have time to watch and critique all the new shows that are coming out this Fall, but I will talk about the shows I've watched thus far. Feel free to make suggestions in the comments. And yes, I know I'm an asshole for being behind on "Breaking Bad" and "Mad Men." I'll catch up one of these days on both shows.
"Person Of Interest" - This is, by far, the best new show I've seen this year. Mrs. P. and I recorded it on Thursday and finally got around to watching it on Sunday. It is one sick-ass show. Jesus (Jim Caviezel) and Ben Linus from LOST (Michael Emerson) star in a mix of James Bond, Mission Impossible, and Enemy of the State.
Essentially, Jim Caviezel plays a former government agent that has gone off the deep end after he lost the love of his life. In the first episode, he shows up as an ass-kicking hobo that eventually gets recruited by Michael Emerson to stop bad events from happening. Emerson is a man with infinite wealth who created a machine that spits out Social Security numbers of people who are about to be involved in a murder/crime. They don't know if those numbers mean they are the victim, the perpetrator, or just an accomplice. I recommend this show more highly than drinking a Four Loko- which would probably get you drunk, high and potentially kill you. My point is- watch this show!
"Terra Nova" - I watched this show last night while doing homework and laundry (it was 2 hours long!) I have a feeling it will be a good show, but I can't give it the full stamp of approval just yet. The premise is as follows: In the 22nd century, the Earth and the human race are badly damaged. Somehow, they find a way to go back 85 million years to when dinosaurs existed, and start a colony of people who hope to change the course of history (so that, theoretically, the Earth will not be so damaged in the 22nd century.) I think this time portal was not negotiable meaning, it was either 85 million years or nothing (otherwise, why not just go back to 1960 or something?)
Despite the odd premise, the upside is that there are fucking dinosaurs running around in a lush environment (which I guarantee they are trying to make the show look like LOST aesthetically.) The show looks great and even incorporated interesting mysteries right off the bat (which I won't ruin in case you haven't seen it.)
Stephen Lang was an interesting casting choice as he is playing a slightly more grounded version of his character from "Avatar." We don't know his motivations just yet, but I'm hoping they can make me, as a viewer, forget about "Avatar." Currently, the lush environment coupled with Stephen Lang being a subtle warlord is doing anything but making me forget about his past role on Na'vi. I'm going to stick with it for the moment, though.
"Fringe" - This isn't a new show! I know, I know. I'm just going to recommend that people could start watching the show right now. They've hit a point in the story that sort of rebooted the show, and right now could be a good time to start watching. Much like X-Files, they solve cases each week, but have an over-arching story that builds during the course of the season. The first episode was solid and it will continue to impress.
"Free Agents" - I caught part of this show by accident. It was actually somewhat decent. Hank Azaria stars in a comedy about a recently divorced sales guy who has recently slept (I think) with one of his co-workers. It was nice to see Hank out in front of the camera after so many years of doing stellar voices on "The Simpsons." The tone of the show was pretty decent, but I'm really not sure it will stick for a long-term run on television. I would rate it above average and it could be worth a chance.
Pssst... Dexter is coming back this week... So sick...
And thus ends my brief reviews of some new TV shows. "Person Of Interest" is definitely the winner from what I've seen this Fall season. I couldn't recommend a show any more highly.
Let's talk some TV today. I'm not even going to pretend I have time to watch and critique all the new shows that are coming out this Fall, but I will talk about the shows I've watched thus far. Feel free to make suggestions in the comments. And yes, I know I'm an asshole for being behind on "Breaking Bad" and "Mad Men." I'll catch up one of these days on both shows.
"Person Of Interest" - This is, by far, the best new show I've seen this year. Mrs. P. and I recorded it on Thursday and finally got around to watching it on Sunday. It is one sick-ass show. Jesus (Jim Caviezel) and Ben Linus from LOST (Michael Emerson) star in a mix of James Bond, Mission Impossible, and Enemy of the State.
Essentially, Jim Caviezel plays a former government agent that has gone off the deep end after he lost the love of his life. In the first episode, he shows up as an ass-kicking hobo that eventually gets recruited by Michael Emerson to stop bad events from happening. Emerson is a man with infinite wealth who created a machine that spits out Social Security numbers of people who are about to be involved in a murder/crime. They don't know if those numbers mean they are the victim, the perpetrator, or just an accomplice. I recommend this show more highly than drinking a Four Loko- which would probably get you drunk, high and potentially kill you. My point is- watch this show!
 |
| Jim Caviezel in "Person Of Interest." |
Despite the odd premise, the upside is that there are fucking dinosaurs running around in a lush environment (which I guarantee they are trying to make the show look like LOST aesthetically.) The show looks great and even incorporated interesting mysteries right off the bat (which I won't ruin in case you haven't seen it.)
Stephen Lang was an interesting casting choice as he is playing a slightly more grounded version of his character from "Avatar." We don't know his motivations just yet, but I'm hoping they can make me, as a viewer, forget about "Avatar." Currently, the lush environment coupled with Stephen Lang being a subtle warlord is doing anything but making me forget about his past role on Na'vi. I'm going to stick with it for the moment, though.
 |
| "Dinos? I've been doing coke and watching snuff films for 18 hours straight. They are no match for me!" |
 |
| "You don't watch 'Fringe?' Fine- it's on!" |
Pssst... Dexter is coming back this week... So sick...
And thus ends my brief reviews of some new TV shows. "Person Of Interest" is definitely the winner from what I've seen this Fall season. I couldn't recommend a show any more highly.
Monday, September 26, 2011
NFL: Week 3
Ouch. The Bears really put a damper on my day. I can handle them getting beat by a better team. I really can. What I can't handle are crippling, inexcusable penalties that ruin offensive drives. I can't handle receivers getting hit in the goddamn face and chest only to drop crucial passes. And I REALLY can't handle a nonsensical holding penalty to bring back one of the most inventive plays I've ever seen in my life (I'm of course talking about the punt return fake out by Devin Hester that led to a touchdown by Johnny Knox.)
Much of the blame can fall on the backs of the O-Line and some goes to Jay Cutler as well. The O-Line was porous at best and Jay Cutler should work for UPS because of all the air mail he was sending. Also, those orange jerseys are literally the worst in all of sports. Please stick with the classic navy home uniforms- please!!! While the Bears left me feeling hollow inside, the rest of the NFL was extremely interesting. Let's get to a few highlights before looking at my fantasy teams.
- The Buffalo Fucking Bills! It doesn't even matter if the Bills lose the rest of their games. I am willing to admit I was wrong about the Bills. I gave blogger/commenter extraordinaire G$ a hard time for picking the Bills to go to the playoffs. As it turns out, even he was wrong for not picking them to at least win their own division! They are an amazing story and they are a hard team to not root for.
- The Detroit Fucking Lions! I'm not happy that the Lions are sitting tied for the NFC North division lead at 3-0, but hey, they've been SO bad over the last... uh... infinity years that they might as well throw their fans a bone. Matthew Stafford looks to be the real deal and their comeback against the hapless Vikings was impressive. Don't they have a big match-up coming in a couple weeks? I think so.
- Michael Vick is brittle. I've said it over and over- Michael Vick is reckless and injury prone. I did not draft him in my fantasy leagues because a) he's a dogkiller and b) he's not going to make it through the season. First a concussion and now a broken hand. He is now crying in his press conferences about not getting roughing penalties calls. Shut your mouth and play Ringleader! I'm selling Vick stock in a major way.
- The Falcons might be bad. This is not a good thought. I was happy when the Bears crushed the Falcons in Week 1. Now, it turns out that the Falcons might be horrible making the Bears win highly unimpressive. I am not looking forward to Drew Brees' bye week in the MSFL (Week 11) as Matt Ryan is my back-up.
Ok, Fantasy Football time. Let's check it out.
MSFL:
Murder Panties 135 - Red Stag Warriors 124
Has anyone has Red Stag whiskey? I assume it is horrible. Lead by a not very attractive 32 points by Drew Breesus, 24 points by Ahmad Bradshaw, and 20 points from TE Jimmy Graham (double points!) my team moved to 2-1. I still have Santana Moss tonight, but RSW has no one, so I am officially victorious (unless Moss grabs -11 points tonight.)
Cali Not Keepers:
Peppermill High Rollers 100 - Boston Teabags 105
This one is a little rough. I benched Greg Olsen (because he had been shitty) and picked up Fred Davis. This was a misstep because Olsen played great AND the Boston Teabags decided to start Rex Grossman at QB this week. So I am down 5 points and I have Fred Davis and Santana Moss going tonight. Unfortunately, BT has the Sex Cannon tossing them the ball. I literally have to root for a Sexy Rexy injury and John Beck to come and throw a TD to Davis or Moss. I suppose I deserve this after starting Rex in the championship last year against BT. No matter what happens this week, I still won the 'ship last year!
Family and Friends:
CORE 69.94 - White Walker 84.28
The Observer got me this week because my team tanked. Phillip Rivers is officially the best/worst looking player in the NFL. I have never had him on a fantasy team before, but now that I've been watching more Chargers action, I can officially say that I hate watching this team. To double my problems, Boston Teabags had Ryan Mathews and Rivers' lack of production caused Mathews to have a huge day. Ah, the ripple effect of fantasy football. Gotta love it. I have no one left in this league so the match-up is settled. Billy Cundiff was my second leading scorer this week. So ugly.
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Another week in the bag. Did you know that the San Francisco 49ers are in first place of their division?! Crazy! The NFC West is the worst.
As far as tonight goes, I expect a close game. Let's see Santa Moss grab 2 TDs and Fred Davis get 1. 'Skins over the punctured lung 21-17.
Much of the blame can fall on the backs of the O-Line and some goes to Jay Cutler as well. The O-Line was porous at best and Jay Cutler should work for UPS because of all the air mail he was sending. Also, those orange jerseys are literally the worst in all of sports. Please stick with the classic navy home uniforms- please!!! While the Bears left me feeling hollow inside, the rest of the NFL was extremely interesting. Let's get to a few highlights before looking at my fantasy teams.
- The Buffalo Fucking Bills! It doesn't even matter if the Bills lose the rest of their games. I am willing to admit I was wrong about the Bills. I gave blogger/commenter extraordinaire G$ a hard time for picking the Bills to go to the playoffs. As it turns out, even he was wrong for not picking them to at least win their own division! They are an amazing story and they are a hard team to not root for.
 |
| Nothing says "exuberance" like balls to the face! |
- Michael Vick is brittle. I've said it over and over- Michael Vick is reckless and injury prone. I did not draft him in my fantasy leagues because a) he's a dogkiller and b) he's not going to make it through the season. First a concussion and now a broken hand. He is now crying in his press conferences about not getting roughing penalties calls. Shut your mouth and play Ringleader! I'm selling Vick stock in a major way.
 |
| Pictured: Sad Michael Vick |
Ok, Fantasy Football time. Let's check it out.
MSFL:
Murder Panties 135 - Red Stag Warriors 124
Has anyone has Red Stag whiskey? I assume it is horrible. Lead by a not very attractive 32 points by Drew Breesus, 24 points by Ahmad Bradshaw, and 20 points from TE Jimmy Graham (double points!) my team moved to 2-1. I still have Santana Moss tonight, but RSW has no one, so I am officially victorious (unless Moss grabs -11 points tonight.)
Cali Not Keepers:
Peppermill High Rollers 100 - Boston Teabags 105
This one is a little rough. I benched Greg Olsen (because he had been shitty) and picked up Fred Davis. This was a misstep because Olsen played great AND the Boston Teabags decided to start Rex Grossman at QB this week. So I am down 5 points and I have Fred Davis and Santana Moss going tonight. Unfortunately, BT has the Sex Cannon tossing them the ball. I literally have to root for a Sexy Rexy injury and John Beck to come and throw a TD to Davis or Moss. I suppose I deserve this after starting Rex in the championship last year against BT. No matter what happens this week, I still won the 'ship last year!
Family and Friends:
CORE 69.94 - White Walker 84.28
The Observer got me this week because my team tanked. Phillip Rivers is officially the best/worst looking player in the NFL. I have never had him on a fantasy team before, but now that I've been watching more Chargers action, I can officially say that I hate watching this team. To double my problems, Boston Teabags had Ryan Mathews and Rivers' lack of production caused Mathews to have a huge day. Ah, the ripple effect of fantasy football. Gotta love it. I have no one left in this league so the match-up is settled. Billy Cundiff was my second leading scorer this week. So ugly.
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Another week in the bag. Did you know that the San Francisco 49ers are in first place of their division?! Crazy! The NFC West is the worst.
As far as tonight goes, I expect a close game. Let's see Santa Moss grab 2 TDs and Fred Davis get 1. 'Skins over the punctured lung 21-17.
Friday, September 23, 2011
No Post Friday
Still working on that schedule, but we'll definitely be talking Fantasy Football on Monday.
On a related note, damn you Arian Foster!!! Heal up!
On a related note, damn you Arian Foster!!! Heal up!
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Make Me Like College Football
For as long as I can remember, my interest in College Football has been lukewarm. I'm not quite sure exactly why, but here are my two theories:
- Geographically, I've lived in Illinois, Ohio, Georgia and California. While moving around, I never tied myself to a college. This theory is good, but doesn't explain why I've stayed true to all the professional Chicago teams since birth.
- My alma mater plays at the FCS level and that's not really all that interesting. Seriously- our team is generally good, but Division I-AA will never hold my interest any more than 90210: The New Class (Mrs. P. is watching that show as I write this.)
So what do I do? My biggest reason for ever watching College Football is to keep tabs on future NFL stars. I'd like to give a shit about a specific school, but it is going to be tough. Let's go through the possibilities:
Northwestern - It's a B1G school located in the Chicago area. This is a great option, but the problem is I have zero ties to the University and they traditionally have been AWFUL. I enjoyed watching the game they played at Wrigley Field last year... even if they could only play offense one way for both teams involved.
Illinois - Similar argument to Northwestern, but I've never been into the Illini.
Ohio State - I used to root for Ohio State when I lived in Ohio. This was back when they had as good a chance at beating Michigan as Ronnie from Jersey Shore has at resisting getting back together with soul sucker Sammi. These days, I can't stand the Buckeyes and they are not a true option.
Miami (FL) - I played 7th grade basketball with Ken Dorsey. I wonder if he was given any improper benefits. Probably not. With sanctions on the way, this is not the time to jump on the Hurricanes' bandwagon.
Georgia - While living in Georgia, I went to multiple UGA games. I'm very familiar with the team playing "between the hedges" and barking during the opening kick. I even attended a Georgia/Auburn game. Apparently even SEC games did not make a huge impression on me. I remember the tailgating being fantastic though!
Georgia Tech - Eh. Nah.
Cal - I went to a fellow UC but I can't cheer these guys on. I've worked with some staff from Cal that were condescending and rude. I'm not down with d-bags.
Stanford - I also recently worked with some of the Stanford staff. They were friendly and helpful. I loved that my boy Jim Harbaugh built their football program back up. I love that they have the best pro-QB prospect to come out of college in at least ten years. I love that my alma mater beat them in 2005! Boom! Did you see that coming? I just spent a lot of time talking about how I didn't care. Actually, I really don't. Stanford is a good option.
Boise State - Chris Petersen actually played football at UC Davis (yes, I made you wait this long to confirm my alma mater, though I gave you enough hints to put it together if you didn't already know.) He's built quite a program up there in Boise. Their games are exciting. Their team is tough as nails. Their field is fucking blue! I think the Broncos are a good option as well.
Nevada-Reno - Oh, I love me some Reno. The Wolfpack beat Boise State last year in a crazy game to ruin the Broncos' chance at a National Championship. They also pounded Cal last year, which was hilarious. They may not be a big enough school/program to earn my rooting interests though. Also, I'm not that into the Pistol offense.
---
Throw out any options I may have forgotten. Give me some reasons I need to get into College Football. Does it really matter? Maybe it is better to have my Saturdays free- it gives me a day to prepare for full Sunday focus on the NFL! Not to mention I plan to get into hockey a bit more this year. It is possible I don't need College Football. Yet, if the right fit comes along, I am open to it.
- Geographically, I've lived in Illinois, Ohio, Georgia and California. While moving around, I never tied myself to a college. This theory is good, but doesn't explain why I've stayed true to all the professional Chicago teams since birth.
 |
| Yeah, my family moved around a lot. |
So what do I do? My biggest reason for ever watching College Football is to keep tabs on future NFL stars. I'd like to give a shit about a specific school, but it is going to be tough. Let's go through the possibilities:
Northwestern - It's a B1G school located in the Chicago area. This is a great option, but the problem is I have zero ties to the University and they traditionally have been AWFUL. I enjoyed watching the game they played at Wrigley Field last year... even if they could only play offense one way for both teams involved.
Illinois - Similar argument to Northwestern, but I've never been into the Illini.
Ohio State - I used to root for Ohio State when I lived in Ohio. This was back when they had as good a chance at beating Michigan as Ronnie from Jersey Shore has at resisting getting back together with soul sucker Sammi. These days, I can't stand the Buckeyes and they are not a true option.
 |
| These trashy girls could've been my future had I not moved from Ohio. |
Georgia - While living in Georgia, I went to multiple UGA games. I'm very familiar with the team playing "between the hedges" and barking during the opening kick. I even attended a Georgia/Auburn game. Apparently even SEC games did not make a huge impression on me. I remember the tailgating being fantastic though!
Georgia Tech - Eh. Nah.
Cal - I went to a fellow UC but I can't cheer these guys on. I've worked with some staff from Cal that were condescending and rude. I'm not down with d-bags.
 |
| And totally unrelated to this post- the USC Song Girls! |
Boise State - Chris Petersen actually played football at UC Davis (yes, I made you wait this long to confirm my alma mater, though I gave you enough hints to put it together if you didn't already know.) He's built quite a program up there in Boise. Their games are exciting. Their team is tough as nails. Their field is fucking blue! I think the Broncos are a good option as well.
Nevada-Reno - Oh, I love me some Reno. The Wolfpack beat Boise State last year in a crazy game to ruin the Broncos' chance at a National Championship. They also pounded Cal last year, which was hilarious. They may not be a big enough school/program to earn my rooting interests though. Also, I'm not that into the Pistol offense.
---
Throw out any options I may have forgotten. Give me some reasons I need to get into College Football. Does it really matter? Maybe it is better to have my Saturdays free- it gives me a day to prepare for full Sunday focus on the NFL! Not to mention I plan to get into hockey a bit more this year. It is possible I don't need College Football. Yet, if the right fit comes along, I am open to it.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
90s Rock: Best Songs (Part 2)
A few weeks ago, I posted my Top 5 90s Alternative songs. Check it out HERE.
Today we continue on with more songs for a most impossible list to accurately portray. I could probably start over and come up with a different list each time. Oh well- this is about as accurate as NFL Power Rankings or AP College Football Polls, so what the hell? Let's give it a whirl.
6) "Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town" by Pearl Jam
One of my favorite softer songs ever. Pearl Jam brings the emotion in this mostly acoustic song. "Hearts and thoughts they fade... fade away..." I'll never get tired of that repetitious chorus.
7) "Fell On Black Days" by Soundgarden
Soundgarden is great. I admit I don't like them as much as Nirvana or Pearl Jam or Alice In Chains. However, they are still a pretty damn good band. This has to be my favorite song by them. The bended guitar notes in the main riff are perfectly creepy and capture the true tone of the song.
8) "Heavy" by Collective Soul
Another band that has a plethora of respectable hits, but you'll never find them on my favorite band list. Maybe it is the religious undertones or something that keeps them from being at the top of my list, but even still I definitely do enjoy a majority of their catalog. This dirty rock song is one of the best. Those phased out guitar effects are tits.
9) "Don't Look Back In Anger" by Oasis
I love me some Oasis. I also happen to believe that Noel Gallagher is a better singer than his brother Liam. I'm very much looking forward to hearing Noel's solo work that is coming out soon. This song is fantastic and still doesn't get old for me.
10) "Motorcycle Drive By" by Third Eye Blind
This is more of a fan favorite song than a single, but it is still pretty well known. The pushing and pulling of soft versus heavy is flawlessly executed. This song is deserving of a spot in the Top 10.
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Thoughts? Arguments? Suggestions? Leave it in the comments.
Today we continue on with more songs for a most impossible list to accurately portray. I could probably start over and come up with a different list each time. Oh well- this is about as accurate as NFL Power Rankings or AP College Football Polls, so what the hell? Let's give it a whirl.
6) "Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town" by Pearl Jam
One of my favorite softer songs ever. Pearl Jam brings the emotion in this mostly acoustic song. "Hearts and thoughts they fade... fade away..." I'll never get tired of that repetitious chorus.
7) "Fell On Black Days" by Soundgarden
Soundgarden is great. I admit I don't like them as much as Nirvana or Pearl Jam or Alice In Chains. However, they are still a pretty damn good band. This has to be my favorite song by them. The bended guitar notes in the main riff are perfectly creepy and capture the true tone of the song.
8) "Heavy" by Collective Soul
Another band that has a plethora of respectable hits, but you'll never find them on my favorite band list. Maybe it is the religious undertones or something that keeps them from being at the top of my list, but even still I definitely do enjoy a majority of their catalog. This dirty rock song is one of the best. Those phased out guitar effects are tits.
9) "Don't Look Back In Anger" by Oasis
I love me some Oasis. I also happen to believe that Noel Gallagher is a better singer than his brother Liam. I'm very much looking forward to hearing Noel's solo work that is coming out soon. This song is fantastic and still doesn't get old for me.
10) "Motorcycle Drive By" by Third Eye Blind
This is more of a fan favorite song than a single, but it is still pretty well known. The pushing and pulling of soft versus heavy is flawlessly executed. This song is deserving of a spot in the Top 10.
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Thoughts? Arguments? Suggestions? Leave it in the comments.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Tastes Great! Less Filling!
Anyone else remember when John Madden used to promote Miller Lite with the slogan, "Tastes Great! Less Filling!" Do you? I know I do. Here's a crappy picture to jog your memory:
At least we can safely say it was an effective ad. I was probably 5 years old at the time I watched this and I still remember Madden solving patron arguments by saying Miller Lite has both great taste and less filling. Unfortunately, as a five-year-old, I wasn't their target market (or was I?) This commercial was Madden's second greatest commercial just behind "Tough-Actin'-Tinactin."
Let's talk about the "Big 3" of nationally marketed light beers. Which brand stands tall against the rest? We are limiting this battle between the aforementioned Miller Lite, Bud Light, and "The Silver Bullet" Coors Light.
First, two quick tidbits about Coors Light (or as the hillbillies call it- "Crrs Light.") My freshman year in college, my roommate and I had an older (read as: able to buy alcohol) friend come up to visit. He bought a case of Coors Light for us to drink. We loaded up large plastic cups with two beers at a time and got obliterated. We had invited over some friends (both girls and guys) and someone suggested I play guitar. This was the first and last time I ever remember attempting to play the guitar and not being able to complete the task. My fingers felt like rickety tree branches that wouldn't move. I looked at everyone and said, "Sorry, this will have to wait until later." Eventually, I ended up throwing up due to alcohol for the first time, missed class the next morning, and didn't get out of bed until 6pm.
Second, my friend Karl has a friend nicknamed "The Wolf Man." I've never met this guy, but apparently he's quite hairy. On one occasion, Karl and "The Wolf Man" were at a party. They had tons of Coors Light and someone brought over a few cans. They offered one can to "The Wolf Man" who promptly yelled, "THE WOLF MAN DON'T DRINK THE SILVER BULLET- AW-OOOOOOO!" Hilarious stuff by a guy who talks in the third person!
Ok, so how do I rank these fine* beverages?
Well, let's start at the bottom. Coors Light ranks the lowest. It is piss water. No amount of fake NFL coaches' press conferences can save it from being the worst of the worst. I'm embarrassed that I've ever tasted this urine-soaked cesspool of a beer.
Miller Lite is coming in second. Despite being horrible with spell check, this beer is OK. Mrs. P. was a promo-girl for Miller Lite for awhile, so I did go through a supportive phase where I drank this beer exclusively.
My take on Miller Lite is that it is a decent beer that tries hard. The "Triple Hops Brew" does actually give it a more golden hue and I can tell that there are more ingredients in Miller Lite than the other two beers in this competition. The problem was that 50% of the time I drank Miller Lite, I'd end up with crippling diarrhea. I'm not sure if the beer was brewed by Lloyd Christmas and that one of the three kinds of hops they use is "Turbo-Lax," but I decided to rarely drink Miller Lite after Mrs. P. retired as a promo-girl.
That, of course, leaves us with Bud Light. The reigning champ in market share and my preferable choice when drinking light beer. It is the perfect balance between Crrrs' piss water and Miller's golden shower. Bud Light brings a solid taste for what it is. They also consistently have the funniest commercials, which matters none when drinking beer, but it is a nice bonus for the sake of the argument.
So if we are hanging out tailgating for a sporting event or having a casual BBQ, make sure you bring the Bud Light along. Or actually, you can bring any number of beers that better than all three of these- whatever works.
*fine = piss water
**LOST reference
 |
| Neither? |
Let's talk about the "Big 3" of nationally marketed light beers. Which brand stands tall against the rest? We are limiting this battle between the aforementioned Miller Lite, Bud Light, and "The Silver Bullet" Coors Light.
First, two quick tidbits about Coors Light (or as the hillbillies call it- "Crrs Light.") My freshman year in college, my roommate and I had an older (read as: able to buy alcohol) friend come up to visit. He bought a case of Coors Light for us to drink. We loaded up large plastic cups with two beers at a time and got obliterated. We had invited over some friends (both girls and guys) and someone suggested I play guitar. This was the first and last time I ever remember attempting to play the guitar and not being able to complete the task. My fingers felt like rickety tree branches that wouldn't move. I looked at everyone and said, "Sorry, this will have to wait until later." Eventually, I ended up throwing up due to alcohol for the first time, missed class the next morning, and didn't get out of bed until 6pm.
Second, my friend Karl has a friend nicknamed "The Wolf Man." I've never met this guy, but apparently he's quite hairy. On one occasion, Karl and "The Wolf Man" were at a party. They had tons of Coors Light and someone brought over a few cans. They offered one can to "The Wolf Man" who promptly yelled, "THE WOLF MAN DON'T DRINK THE SILVER BULLET- AW-OOOOOOO!" Hilarious stuff by a guy who talks in the third person!
 |
| It is a party foul to show up to The Wolf Man's house with Crrrs Light. |
Well, let's start at the bottom. Coors Light ranks the lowest. It is piss water. No amount of fake NFL coaches' press conferences can save it from being the worst of the worst. I'm embarrassed that I've ever tasted this urine-soaked cesspool of a beer.
 |
| No one likes Coors Light or Herm Edwards. |
My take on Miller Lite is that it is a decent beer that tries hard. The "Triple Hops Brew" does actually give it a more golden hue and I can tell that there are more ingredients in Miller Lite than the other two beers in this competition. The problem was that 50% of the time I drank Miller Lite, I'd end up with crippling diarrhea. I'm not sure if the beer was brewed by Lloyd Christmas and that one of the three kinds of hops they use is "Turbo-Lax," but I decided to rarely drink Miller Lite after Mrs. P. retired as a promo-girl.
 |
| Funniest movie scene EVER. |
 |
| "We have to go back!"** |
*fine = piss water
**LOST reference
Monday, September 19, 2011
NFL: Week 2
Alright everyone, bear with me while I attempt to figure out a way to juggle my life's activities. I really enjoy blogging, but I may have to decrease the number of days a week I'm writing (or simply just retire this site.) I'm finding that working full time, playing shows part time, going to class, and attempting to keep the rest of my life together is quite a task. I'll keep you updated with the new schedule or on any decisions I make regarding the site.
Meanwhile... on the NFL gridiron...
The Least Depressing Loss Ever - Let's get this out of the way early. The Bears loss to the Saints was bad, but it didn't bother me at all. I knew going into the season that the Bears' early schedule would be as difficult as keeping Charlie Sheen out of a whore house filled with coke. When the Bears go to New Orleans to play a very good Saints team in their home opener, with the Saints coming off a tough loss last Thursday, the Saints are given a week-and-a-half to prepare, Brian Urlacher's mom dies in the middle of the week and he and many coaches and teammates attend her funeral in New Mexico the day before the game- well, that's just a recipe for disaster- much like this run-on sentence.
The point is, the deck was stacked against the Bears. They hung tough for awhile, but in the end, the Saints were just too explosive. Chalk that one up to a bad game and move on. I don't think the Bears are as good as they were in Week 1, but they are not as bad as people now believe their are in Week 2. They will compete for the NFC Wild Card, which is fine.
Fantasy Football Updates:
MSFL
Murder Panties (109) - Define Rape... (113)
In a tightly contested match-up, we each have a player left this week. I have Ahmad Bradshaw and he has the Rams kicker. Kickers are oddly dangerous, but I have to be favored to pull out the victory. It really is too bad I benched Steve Smith last week, but now I have to grab the win this week.
Cali Not Keepers
Peppermill High Rollers (112) - Team Racquetballer (101)
Last week it was Clarkster who felt my wrath. This week, it is Clarkster's brother. The week is over, neither of us have players left tonight. 2-0 and well on my way to defending my title- this year with actual "good" players rather than the rag-tag bunch of losers I won with last year!
Friends and Family
CORE (155) - O'Doyle Rules! (97)
Phillip Rivers + Vincent Jackson + Miles Austin + Burner Turner + Javid Best = Victory
Do I really need the NY Giants' defense tonight? No, I do not. But is it fun to run up the score? Yes, why yes it is. Mark Ingram missed the "everyone score 20+ points party" this week. Get with the program, kid!
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Other thoughts on the NFL this week:
- Tony Gonzales still has it. Many believed he was getting old. Well, he is getting old, but he can still ball.
- G$'s Redskins are 2-0. Unfortunately, they tried to give the game away multiple times yesterday against a lackluster Cardinals team. I don't see this run lasting much longer.
- The Detroit Lions are legit. They are scary. Apparently, they just needed to fire Matt Millen as GM to build a good team. Who would've thunk it?
- What is there to say about the Niners? They let a very winnable game get away against the Cowboys. I must say they are an improvement over the Singletary Niners, but they don't know how to close out games just yet. I believe Harbaugh is improving the culture, though.
- Wow Raiders. Five Bills' TDs on their last five drives? Now that's a more dramatic way to lose a game. The Silver and Black know how to lose in style. Ryan Fitzpatrick is a valuable fantasy QB. Seriously.
- I was wrong about Cam Newton. I did not believe he would be a successful NFL QB. I am already certain I was wrong about that. He still needs to learn how to win games, but that is going to come. Carolina should run the ball a little bit more, though. It's not like Cam is Mike Ditka! He can't do it all by himself!
- Ouch, Ravens. Nice hangover game. Apparently beating the Steelers is their version of drinking a bottle of Wild Turkey all by themselves. Hydrate and get back on the field next week.
- Michael Vick got injured in Week 2 and may not play next week. Shocker. I did not see that one coming. Oh, wait. Yes I did. I think it was Al Michaels who said Vick was "the biggest sports star/hero in Atlanta history." Riiiight. So no one on the Braves (Smoltz, Glavine, Maddux, Bobby Cox, Chipper Jones, Dale Murphy, or even Terry Pendelton) is bigger even after they won a World Series for Atlanta. How's about Dominique Wilkens? Hell, at least Spud Webb won a dunk contest for the city. What has Michael Vick won in the Atlanta area? Answer: probably a lot of dogfights.
---
Another entertaining week in the NFL. Well played. Go Ahmad Bradshaw!!!
Meanwhile... on the NFL gridiron...
The Least Depressing Loss Ever - Let's get this out of the way early. The Bears loss to the Saints was bad, but it didn't bother me at all. I knew going into the season that the Bears' early schedule would be as difficult as keeping Charlie Sheen out of a whore house filled with coke. When the Bears go to New Orleans to play a very good Saints team in their home opener, with the Saints coming off a tough loss last Thursday, the Saints are given a week-and-a-half to prepare, Brian Urlacher's mom dies in the middle of the week and he and many coaches and teammates attend her funeral in New Mexico the day before the game- well, that's just a recipe for disaster- much like this run-on sentence.
The point is, the deck was stacked against the Bears. They hung tough for awhile, but in the end, the Saints were just too explosive. Chalk that one up to a bad game and move on. I don't think the Bears are as good as they were in Week 1, but they are not as bad as people now believe their are in Week 2. They will compete for the NFC Wild Card, which is fine.
Fantasy Football Updates:
MSFL
Murder Panties (109) - Define Rape... (113)
In a tightly contested match-up, we each have a player left this week. I have Ahmad Bradshaw and he has the Rams kicker. Kickers are oddly dangerous, but I have to be favored to pull out the victory. It really is too bad I benched Steve Smith last week, but now I have to grab the win this week.
Cali Not Keepers
Peppermill High Rollers (112) - Team Racquetballer (101)
Last week it was Clarkster who felt my wrath. This week, it is Clarkster's brother. The week is over, neither of us have players left tonight. 2-0 and well on my way to defending my title- this year with actual "good" players rather than the rag-tag bunch of losers I won with last year!
Friends and Family
CORE (155) - O'Doyle Rules! (97)
Phillip Rivers + Vincent Jackson + Miles Austin + Burner Turner + Javid Best = Victory
Do I really need the NY Giants' defense tonight? No, I do not. But is it fun to run up the score? Yes, why yes it is. Mark Ingram missed the "everyone score 20+ points party" this week. Get with the program, kid!
---
Other thoughts on the NFL this week:
- Tony Gonzales still has it. Many believed he was getting old. Well, he is getting old, but he can still ball.
- G$'s Redskins are 2-0. Unfortunately, they tried to give the game away multiple times yesterday against a lackluster Cardinals team. I don't see this run lasting much longer.
- The Detroit Lions are legit. They are scary. Apparently, they just needed to fire Matt Millen as GM to build a good team. Who would've thunk it?
- What is there to say about the Niners? They let a very winnable game get away against the Cowboys. I must say they are an improvement over the Singletary Niners, but they don't know how to close out games just yet. I believe Harbaugh is improving the culture, though.
- Wow Raiders. Five Bills' TDs on their last five drives? Now that's a more dramatic way to lose a game. The Silver and Black know how to lose in style. Ryan Fitzpatrick is a valuable fantasy QB. Seriously.
- I was wrong about Cam Newton. I did not believe he would be a successful NFL QB. I am already certain I was wrong about that. He still needs to learn how to win games, but that is going to come. Carolina should run the ball a little bit more, though. It's not like Cam is Mike Ditka! He can't do it all by himself!
- Ouch, Ravens. Nice hangover game. Apparently beating the Steelers is their version of drinking a bottle of Wild Turkey all by themselves. Hydrate and get back on the field next week.
- Michael Vick got injured in Week 2 and may not play next week. Shocker. I did not see that one coming. Oh, wait. Yes I did. I think it was Al Michaels who said Vick was "the biggest sports star/hero in Atlanta history." Riiiight. So no one on the Braves (Smoltz, Glavine, Maddux, Bobby Cox, Chipper Jones, Dale Murphy, or even Terry Pendelton) is bigger even after they won a World Series for Atlanta. How's about Dominique Wilkens? Hell, at least Spud Webb won a dunk contest for the city. What has Michael Vick won in the Atlanta area? Answer: probably a lot of dogfights.
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Another entertaining week in the NFL. Well played. Go Ahmad Bradshaw!!!
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Accounting
I've been burning the candle at both ends this week. In trying to juggle work, home, music, and the blog, I have reached my capacity. I'm also starting Accounting class tonight, so forgive me when I tell you I have very little to write about... no matter how funny Sarah Palin boning Glen "Big Dog" Rice might be.
My apologies for today and I'll try to bring sexy back tomorrow. I just need to add some credits to all the debits I've been taking out of my energy bank recently. That's an accounting reference!
My apologies for today and I'll try to bring sexy back tomorrow. I just need to add some credits to all the debits I've been taking out of my energy bank recently. That's an accounting reference!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
90s Rock: Songs For Me
Hello there folks. I worked until 10:30pm, came home to Mrs. P.'s big toe bleeding profusely (she sliced her toe on our front door weather guard), and I had to run out to Rite Aid to get a first aid kit. It was a good thing we didn't have one around the house, right?! I think she is ok now, but I am beyond exhausted. Here are a few songs that I really enjoy to make me feel better. Also, Brian Urlacher, if you're reading, I hope everything is ok with your family. Take your time and come back when you're ready.
Hum - "I Hate It Too"
They are more famous for "Stars," but I always loved this song. It is classic 90's soft intro into a rocking middle. If you've never heard the song, have a listen.
Tonic - "You Wanted More"
Was this song on the "American Pie 2" soundtrack? I think it was. Either way, it's a pretty badass song. I wonder if they were taking notes from Collective Soul on the rock riff verse into a major key chorus. Solid tune.
Foo Fighters - "Walking After You"
Why do sad songs make me feel better? I have no idea- maybe it has to do with the "misery loves company" cliche. This is one of the more beautiful songs Dave Grohl has written. It's nice of him to take a break from composing shredding alternative hits to take a stab at something like this.
Oasis - "Some Might Say"
Say what you want about the Gallagher brothers (if you don't, they will) but this song is just one of many in their catalog of unstoppable hits. I love Oasis.
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That's all for today. Enjoy your hump of the week.
Hum - "I Hate It Too"
They are more famous for "Stars," but I always loved this song. It is classic 90's soft intro into a rocking middle. If you've never heard the song, have a listen.
Tonic - "You Wanted More"
Was this song on the "American Pie 2" soundtrack? I think it was. Either way, it's a pretty badass song. I wonder if they were taking notes from Collective Soul on the rock riff verse into a major key chorus. Solid tune.
Foo Fighters - "Walking After You"
Why do sad songs make me feel better? I have no idea- maybe it has to do with the "misery loves company" cliche. This is one of the more beautiful songs Dave Grohl has written. It's nice of him to take a break from composing shredding alternative hits to take a stab at something like this.
Oasis - "Some Might Say"
Say what you want about the Gallagher brothers (if you don't, they will) but this song is just one of many in their catalog of unstoppable hits. I love Oasis.
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That's all for today. Enjoy your hump of the week.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Fantasy Football Week 1 Recap
I'm not even going to pretend like I have a ton of time to write this post today. Let's look at my fantasy football results and call it a day.
MSFL:
Murder Panties (me) vs. Book Hockey Facials - L, 125 - 139
I messed up. My 11th hour benching of Steve Smith was moronic and I accept this loss. The good news is Smith will be active this week and Arian Foster may be healthy. I put together a strong team for my first auction draft.
Cali Not Keepers League:
Peppermill High Rollers (me) vs. Project Mayhem - W, 145 - 80
Occasional commenter Clarkster felt the wrath of my best fantasy team. I scored the most points in the league by A LOT (next closest was 113.) Brees, Forte, Welker, and the Bears D all came to stomp dick.
Friends and Family League:
CORE (me) vs. Ace Deuce - L, 88.50 - 93.50
Occasional commenter Dick Tracy got the best of me in this league. Rivers was OK, but a TD to Vincent Jackson would've saved me this week. I was also disappointed with Knowshon (worst first name ever) Moreno. When he was a kid, his mom potentially scolded him by saying, "No, Knowshon!" Lame.
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I think that all of my teams will be competitive and I am pretty sure that my High Roller team is the best in the league. Of course, it is fantasy football so anything can happen.
Finally, a big shout out to Tom Brady's 517 yards passing. That is damn impressive.
MSFL:
Murder Panties (me) vs. Book Hockey Facials - L, 125 - 139
I messed up. My 11th hour benching of Steve Smith was moronic and I accept this loss. The good news is Smith will be active this week and Arian Foster may be healthy. I put together a strong team for my first auction draft.
Cali Not Keepers League:
Peppermill High Rollers (me) vs. Project Mayhem - W, 145 - 80
Occasional commenter Clarkster felt the wrath of my best fantasy team. I scored the most points in the league by A LOT (next closest was 113.) Brees, Forte, Welker, and the Bears D all came to stomp dick.
Friends and Family League:
CORE (me) vs. Ace Deuce - L, 88.50 - 93.50
Occasional commenter Dick Tracy got the best of me in this league. Rivers was OK, but a TD to Vincent Jackson would've saved me this week. I was also disappointed with Knowshon (worst first name ever) Moreno. When he was a kid, his mom potentially scolded him by saying, "No, Knowshon!" Lame.
---
I think that all of my teams will be competitive and I am pretty sure that my High Roller team is the best in the league. Of course, it is fantasy football so anything can happen.
Finally, a big shout out to Tom Brady's 517 yards passing. That is damn impressive.
Monday, September 12, 2011
NFL Week 1
I am so glad the NFL season has begun. Between cheering on the Bears, Fantasy Football, and the rest of the drama that follows the NFL, it is just glad to have it back. I spent the entire day Sunday watching the RedZone Channel, so I'll run through some of my favorite moments (good and bad) from the weekend. I will hand out some awards as well.
Bears 30, Falcons 12 - What a great way to kick off the season. On Friday, I was listening to Keyshawn Johnson, Chris Mortensen, and Mike Tirico on the radio. Mort picked the Falcons to represent the NFC in the Super Bowl. All of them talked about how they were not high on the Bears. They agreed that the Falcons would win on Sunday.
Well, well, well, well... This is one great example of the media getting on a team's jock hard, while not giving respect to a solid, yet potentially unsexy, team. The Bears' D looked great and why wouldn't they? They willed the Bears to the NFC title game last year. They have most of the same piece back. I'm extremely happy to see them hold a potentially efficient Falcons' offense to 6 points. The Bears' offense actually gave up the one Falcons touchdown in the game. The Bears' D on Sunday was a perfect example of Lovie Smith's "bend but not break" philosophy.
Jay Cutler looked great besides one mistake (INT returned for a TD.) That mistake was probably more on the O-Line, but it is still unacceptable. Ultimately, though, it was meaningless. Matt Forte is my hero- pay that man his money!
In the end, the Bears just upped the expectations on this season. They have a tough challenge in the Saints next week- the blood is already flowing toward my genitals in excitement.
Coach Tellian Award - In high school I was a basketball player. I have never played a game of football in pads. One reason for this was that our high school football program was wretched. My senior year, the entire program went 0-30. That's right- the Freshmen, JV, and Varsity squads went 0-10 a piece. Ouch. Midseason, Coach Tellian, the mastermind of this program, offered me the starting Tight End position in passing while I was walking to my next class. What a tool.
This award goes to the worst coaching decision of the week:
Sean Payton - His decision to run Mark Ingram with no time remaining while down by 8 to the defending Super Bowl champs is inexcusable. When you have one of the best QBs in the NFL, and said QB has over 400 yards passing and 3 TDs, you should put the ball in elite QB's hands rather than a rookie. The Saints deserved to lose that game due to such a poor decision.
Matthew Berry Award - I admit I watch ESPN's Fantasy Football show each Sunday morning. The Talented Mr. Roto has occasional good advice. He also occasionally spews out the worst liquid diarrhea of fantasy tips. This award is in honor of the poor side of Berry's advice.
Me - I benched Steve Smith (CAR) at 9:30am Sunday. He sat active all week, and I psyched myself out and put in Ronnie Brown. I figured Cam Newton would be inaccurate and throw mostly to his TEs, while Ronnie Brown might get some touches to steal points away from LeSean McCoy (the guy I was going against had Vick and McCoy in his lineup.) It was a terrible gamble that lost me the week. What I do know now is that if Arian Foster comes back healthy, my team is pretty damn good. This makes me feel good.
Jim Harbaugh Award - I love that Harbaugh once ran up the score on USC while coaching at Stanford. This prompted Pete Carroll to ask him, "What's your deal?" during the post-game handshake. Hilarious! Now they get to play each other twice a year!
Jim Harbaugh! His San Francisco 49ers took care of business against the Carroll's Seahawks. Alex Smith showed some grit and Ted Ginn returned a punt and a kick! If nothing else, congrats to my friends that cheer for the Niners. This game has to give you at least a little hope.
Munson Award - The movie "Kingpin" is hilarious. Woody Harrelson played Roy Munson- a bowler who constantly looks like he has the world at his fingertips, only to make a bad decision or two and get the crap beat out of him (or in one case, his hand cut off!) During the movie, people start using the saying "they really munson'ed that" to describe someone screwing up. This team really "munson'ed" their game this week.
Dallas Cowboys - I'm watching the game as I write this post. The Cowboys had total control over this game. There is no way they should have lost this game. Tony Romo fumbled near the goal line. They had a punt blocked for a Jets TD. With 8 seconds left, the center snapped the ball to Romo when he was unprepared. The Cowboys are garbage and it will be a LOOOONG season if they continue to make these type of dumb decisions. Yikes.
Bad News Bears Award - This award goes to the team that played the worst, but still won.
San Diego Chargers - Wow. I started the Chargers D in one fantasy league on the premise that they have a good defense and that their massive weakness on special teams was worked on and fixed. A solid 12 seconds into their opening game against the Vikings and I'm convinced that Norv Turner allowed the Chargers' special teams to complete all their drills on Madden rather than on an actual field. Despite the Chargers' best efforts to lose the game, they ended up beating Donovan McNabb's Vikings. I'm happy with the end result, but the game was fucking awful.
---
This season looks to be pret-ay, pret-ay, pretty good. The Lions, Bills, Bengals, and Redskins should be awfully proud of themselves. All of those teams came up with big wins that will help excite their fan-bases. It is just great to have football back.
Bears 30, Falcons 12 - What a great way to kick off the season. On Friday, I was listening to Keyshawn Johnson, Chris Mortensen, and Mike Tirico on the radio. Mort picked the Falcons to represent the NFC in the Super Bowl. All of them talked about how they were not high on the Bears. They agreed that the Falcons would win on Sunday.
Well, well, well, well... This is one great example of the media getting on a team's jock hard, while not giving respect to a solid, yet potentially unsexy, team. The Bears' D looked great and why wouldn't they? They willed the Bears to the NFC title game last year. They have most of the same piece back. I'm extremely happy to see them hold a potentially efficient Falcons' offense to 6 points. The Bears' offense actually gave up the one Falcons touchdown in the game. The Bears' D on Sunday was a perfect example of Lovie Smith's "bend but not break" philosophy.
Jay Cutler looked great besides one mistake (INT returned for a TD.) That mistake was probably more on the O-Line, but it is still unacceptable. Ultimately, though, it was meaningless. Matt Forte is my hero- pay that man his money!
 |
| "Kid's got alligator blood..." |
Coach Tellian Award - In high school I was a basketball player. I have never played a game of football in pads. One reason for this was that our high school football program was wretched. My senior year, the entire program went 0-30. That's right- the Freshmen, JV, and Varsity squads went 0-10 a piece. Ouch. Midseason, Coach Tellian, the mastermind of this program, offered me the starting Tight End position in passing while I was walking to my next class. What a tool.
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| He literally looked like this. |
Sean Payton - His decision to run Mark Ingram with no time remaining while down by 8 to the defending Super Bowl champs is inexcusable. When you have one of the best QBs in the NFL, and said QB has over 400 yards passing and 3 TDs, you should put the ball in elite QB's hands rather than a rookie. The Saints deserved to lose that game due to such a poor decision.
Matthew Berry Award - I admit I watch ESPN's Fantasy Football show each Sunday morning. The Talented Mr. Roto has occasional good advice. He also occasionally spews out the worst liquid diarrhea of fantasy tips. This award is in honor of the poor side of Berry's advice.
Me - I benched Steve Smith (CAR) at 9:30am Sunday. He sat active all week, and I psyched myself out and put in Ronnie Brown. I figured Cam Newton would be inaccurate and throw mostly to his TEs, while Ronnie Brown might get some touches to steal points away from LeSean McCoy (the guy I was going against had Vick and McCoy in his lineup.) It was a terrible gamble that lost me the week. What I do know now is that if Arian Foster comes back healthy, my team is pretty damn good. This makes me feel good.
 |
| Steve Smith reminding me who scored the most points on my team... even though he was on the motherfuckin' bench. |
Jim Harbaugh! His San Francisco 49ers took care of business against the Carroll's Seahawks. Alex Smith showed some grit and Ted Ginn returned a punt and a kick! If nothing else, congrats to my friends that cheer for the Niners. This game has to give you at least a little hope.
Munson Award - The movie "Kingpin" is hilarious. Woody Harrelson played Roy Munson- a bowler who constantly looks like he has the world at his fingertips, only to make a bad decision or two and get the crap beat out of him (or in one case, his hand cut off!) During the movie, people start using the saying "they really munson'ed that" to describe someone screwing up. This team really "munson'ed" their game this week.
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| The look of a champion. |
Bad News Bears Award - This award goes to the team that played the worst, but still won.
San Diego Chargers - Wow. I started the Chargers D in one fantasy league on the premise that they have a good defense and that their massive weakness on special teams was worked on and fixed. A solid 12 seconds into their opening game against the Vikings and I'm convinced that Norv Turner allowed the Chargers' special teams to complete all their drills on Madden rather than on an actual field. Despite the Chargers' best efforts to lose the game, they ended up beating Donovan McNabb's Vikings. I'm happy with the end result, but the game was fucking awful.
---
This season looks to be pret-ay, pret-ay, pretty good. The Lions, Bills, Bengals, and Redskins should be awfully proud of themselves. All of those teams came up with big wins that will help excite their fan-bases. It is just great to have football back.
Friday, September 9, 2011
I Need To Move
Post #69! Laugh it up, folks.
Today will be a small tale of frustration. Feel free to give me advice on how to best handle this situation because I have no clue. I felt like I was in elementary school again dealing with an immature older kid on the bus, or something like that.
I was happily drinking beer and watching Drew Brees slowly but surely rack up tons of fantasy points for two of my teams. Mrs. P. had gone to the gym and had let our cat outside when she left. Some background on our cat:
- He's extremely smart. We let him outside in Downtown Sacramento and he walks around our block only, has a grassy hiding place, and is click-trained. When we walk outside with a clicker, he typically knows it is time to go home (and get cat treats.)
- He, to our knowledge, is mostly scared of strangers. He doesn't usually come out of hiding, even with us clicking, if he hears strangers making loud noises.
- Mrs. P. and I love him like a son, but he is an asshole when we don't let him out for a few days. He enjoys his outside time and like I said, is typically pretty safe about it.
Ok, so at some point during the 3rd quarter, I realized our cat hadn't come home and it was getting dark. I decided to pause the game and go clicking for him. I was 3 or 4 beers deep. Probably buzzed, but not drunk. I walked a few buildings down from our complex to the broken fence that he usually hides behind. On my way over to this spot, there was a group of hoodlums hanging out at the end of the walkway between two buildings. It was diversity at its finest- an Asian guy, a Mexican guy, and Caucasian hipster. I wondered where their hypothetical Black friend was to complete this beautiful diversity rainbow.
I walked past them and clicked a couple times to see if our cat would come out. The guys were loudly hanging out and smoking cigarettes, so I was skeptical that our cat would reveal himself. I get that a guy clicking a clicker around your building is a little weird, but one of these guys definitely wanted to start trouble.
The Asian guy had a flashlight (for some reason) and he shined the light at me like he was Kevin James in "Paul Blart."
"Excuse me, sir... do you live here?" as he flashed the light up and down a couple times.
"No man, I'm just looking for my cat."
"Sir, sir- I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
I look at him confused. "I'm just looking for my cat."
"Don't you hate it when dick security guards do that?" he asks. Then he laughs to himself and continues to repeat the flashlight schtick once more.
The White hipster asks, "Is it the fluffy black and white one?"
I confirm those details, not thinking much of it.
The Asian guy pipes back up. "Do you have a cigarette?" (I don't smoke and I had nothing on my person besides the clicker.)
"No, I don't have any cigarettes."
He angrily stares at me as if I just said, "Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees, look at these!"
He breaks the silence by asking me if I'm from Chicago (I was wearing a Bears t-shirt.)
"Yes, I was born there." I'm still clicking to find my cat and get the fuck out of there.
I think he was silenced again because his tactic was going to be to give me a hard time for wearing a Chicago shirt when I wasn't from Chicago. This guy was clearly bored and wanted to get a rise out of me.
He then said in a baby-ish voice, "Awww, you miss your pussy. You miss your pussy." I think he then made kissy noises. I had reached the end of my tolerance level.
"Is there some kind of problem?" I asked annoyed, but still calm.
He gives me the confrontational, "No! I'm just trying to have a conversation!" Yeah. Fucking. Right.
"Oh, really? It doesn't seem like you're trying to have any kind of a conversation. I'm just going to find my cat and get out of here." I turned to face him.
Let's pause for a minute. I still haven't found my cat. There are three guys that all look like they have been in fights previously. I can't imagine a world where this Asian guy hasn't been kicked in the face a couple times. There is no way I can even consider fighting these guys on the sidewalk in front of my complex. My biggest concern now is my cat. They pretty much know which cat it is, so if I don't retrieve him, he could be in danger. However, he is not coming out from hiding and I think he's smart enough to stay hiding until these d-bags leave.
I start to walk away, and their hypothetical Black friend that I wasn't sure existed joins them. He asks what was going on, and the Asian guy says something about "Chicago Bulls over there starting trouble." What a dick. He clearly is not the best with details. I was wearing a Bears shirt and he was the one starting trouble.
Luckily, his group of friends did not join him in this asshole-ary and I walked back to my place. At this point, I was worried about my cat and it was hard to enjoy the game. Another lucky thing was that Drew Brees decided to take over the game, so that was a good distraction. I was still a little nervous about our little fur-ball's safety.
In the most anti-climatic end ever, about 7 minutes later, I heard him meowing at our door. He made it home safe and sound. What a smart little guy.
So now what do we do? I'm not sure if this Asian guy lives a couple buildings down, or if he was visiting his friends. The White guy clearly lives there because he knew what our cat looked like. Also, there are a few other black and white cats in the neighborhood, so it is possible that they wouldn't recognize him. Can we let him out again? He loves going outside, but I'm now concerned about these assholes messing with him? He was smart enough to get home, so maybe he can take care of himself. Maybe this group of guys thinks their friend is a tool and they'll tell him he was being an asshole. I have no idea.
At the moment, I'm glad our cat is safe and sound. I'm also glad that Drew Brees is a stud. What say you? Should I have fought all three and then four guys? Do you think it was late and these guys were clearly drinking and bored? Is it safe to let our cat out anymore? Ponder these questions and make sure to have a safe weekend for you and your pets!
Today will be a small tale of frustration. Feel free to give me advice on how to best handle this situation because I have no clue. I felt like I was in elementary school again dealing with an immature older kid on the bus, or something like that.
I was happily drinking beer and watching Drew Brees slowly but surely rack up tons of fantasy points for two of my teams. Mrs. P. had gone to the gym and had let our cat outside when she left. Some background on our cat:
- He's extremely smart. We let him outside in Downtown Sacramento and he walks around our block only, has a grassy hiding place, and is click-trained. When we walk outside with a clicker, he typically knows it is time to go home (and get cat treats.)
- He, to our knowledge, is mostly scared of strangers. He doesn't usually come out of hiding, even with us clicking, if he hears strangers making loud noises.
- Mrs. P. and I love him like a son, but he is an asshole when we don't let him out for a few days. He enjoys his outside time and like I said, is typically pretty safe about it.
 |
| "Rawr!" |
 |
| Kind of like this! |
The Asian guy had a flashlight (for some reason) and he shined the light at me like he was Kevin James in "Paul Blart."
"Excuse me, sir... do you live here?" as he flashed the light up and down a couple times.
"No man, I'm just looking for my cat."
"Sir, sir- I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
I look at him confused. "I'm just looking for my cat."
"Don't you hate it when dick security guards do that?" he asks. Then he laughs to himself and continues to repeat the flashlight schtick once more.
The White hipster asks, "Is it the fluffy black and white one?"
I confirm those details, not thinking much of it.
The Asian guy pipes back up. "Do you have a cigarette?" (I don't smoke and I had nothing on my person besides the clicker.)
"No, I don't have any cigarettes."
He angrily stares at me as if I just said, "Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees, look at these!"
He breaks the silence by asking me if I'm from Chicago (I was wearing a Bears t-shirt.)
"Yes, I was born there." I'm still clicking to find my cat and get the fuck out of there.
I think he was silenced again because his tactic was going to be to give me a hard time for wearing a Chicago shirt when I wasn't from Chicago. This guy was clearly bored and wanted to get a rise out of me.
He then said in a baby-ish voice, "Awww, you miss your pussy. You miss your pussy." I think he then made kissy noises. I had reached the end of my tolerance level.
"Is there some kind of problem?" I asked annoyed, but still calm.
He gives me the confrontational, "No! I'm just trying to have a conversation!" Yeah. Fucking. Right.
"Oh, really? It doesn't seem like you're trying to have any kind of a conversation. I'm just going to find my cat and get out of here." I turned to face him.
Let's pause for a minute. I still haven't found my cat. There are three guys that all look like they have been in fights previously. I can't imagine a world where this Asian guy hasn't been kicked in the face a couple times. There is no way I can even consider fighting these guys on the sidewalk in front of my complex. My biggest concern now is my cat. They pretty much know which cat it is, so if I don't retrieve him, he could be in danger. However, he is not coming out from hiding and I think he's smart enough to stay hiding until these d-bags leave.
I start to walk away, and their hypothetical Black friend that I wasn't sure existed joins them. He asks what was going on, and the Asian guy says something about "Chicago Bulls over there starting trouble." What a dick. He clearly is not the best with details. I was wearing a Bears shirt and he was the one starting trouble.
Luckily, his group of friends did not join him in this asshole-ary and I walked back to my place. At this point, I was worried about my cat and it was hard to enjoy the game. Another lucky thing was that Drew Brees decided to take over the game, so that was a good distraction. I was still a little nervous about our little fur-ball's safety.
In the most anti-climatic end ever, about 7 minutes later, I heard him meowing at our door. He made it home safe and sound. What a smart little guy.
So now what do we do? I'm not sure if this Asian guy lives a couple buildings down, or if he was visiting his friends. The White guy clearly lives there because he knew what our cat looked like. Also, there are a few other black and white cats in the neighborhood, so it is possible that they wouldn't recognize him. Can we let him out again? He loves going outside, but I'm now concerned about these assholes messing with him? He was smart enough to get home, so maybe he can take care of himself. Maybe this group of guys thinks their friend is a tool and they'll tell him he was being an asshole. I have no idea.
At the moment, I'm glad our cat is safe and sound. I'm also glad that Drew Brees is a stud. What say you? Should I have fought all three and then four guys? Do you think it was late and these guys were clearly drinking and bored? Is it safe to let our cat out anymore? Ponder these questions and make sure to have a safe weekend for you and your pets!
Thursday, September 8, 2011
NFL Predictions 2011
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| Lonely Jay Cutler thinks my predictions are average. |
So let's start with the AFC because I like that conference less.
AFC East
1) New England - I cannot pick against Tom Brady.
2) New York Jets - They should be decent, but I'm not high on them.
3) Buffalo Bills - Better... but not playoff worthy!
4) Miami Dolphins - Could be the worst team in the league. Reggie Bush deserves this team.
AFC South
1) Houston Texans - It is hard not to jump on this bandwagon with Peyton Manning being out (for the moment, at least.)
2) Indianapolis Colts - I'm assuming Manning will be back in a few weeks. The rest of this division is wretched.
3) Tennessee Titans - CJ wills this team to 6 wins.
4) Jacksonville Jaguars - They cut David Garrad and MoJo Drew claims he is tougher than Jay Cutler- which he is not.
AFC West
1) San Diego Chargers - "This should be their year to make noise." -- Everyone for the last 5 years
2) Oakland Raiders - They won't be good, but this division is terrible also.
3) Kansas City Chiefs - The Chefs will take a step back. Way to get your QB a cracked rib in the fourth preseason game, Todd Haley.
4) Denver Broncos - Choosing Orton as their starting QB was a good start. John Fox will improve this once great franchise over the next few years.
AFC North
1) Baltimore Ravens - As per usual, the Ravens and Steelers will make the playoffs. Either can win the division and I'm giving the nod to the Ravens in this set of predictions.
2) Pittsburgh Steelers - Their defense is great and their offense is good enough. They will be in the mix once again.
3) Cleveland Browns - They should be much improved and will beat the Bungles twice.
4) Cincinnati Bengals - I would not put an 0-16 season past this team.
Onward to my favorite conference- the NFC:
NFC East
1) Philadelphia Eagles - Similar result as last year- they'll win the division and not get a bye in the playoffs. Vick will miss at least three weeks this season.
2) Dallas Cowboys - Anything will be better than last year. Romo should be improved, but don't count on him to be "clutch."
3) Washington Redskins - I watched them in the preseason and was impressed with their efficiency on offense. I want the Sex Cannon to succeed. Maybe I'm slightly bias, but I think they'll be better than most people believe.
4) New York Giants - Someone call the ambulance from Madden '93! This team needs it already. I could see them finishing third, but I'm definitely losing faith in this team.
NFC South
1) New Orleans Saints - I put a lot of my Fantasy Football eggs in the Drew Brees/Marques Colston basket. Let's do this fellas!
2) Atlanta Falcons - They should be tough once again. They will not be the #1 seed in the NFC like they were last year, though.
3) Tampa Bay Bucs - They will regress HARD this year. The Panthers and Bucs will have similar records.
4) Carolina Panthers - I don't like this team and I hate Cam Newton at QB. I do like Ron Rivera as the coach though. Should bring them tough D if he manages to keep his job for a few years.
NFC West
1) St. Louis Rams - Who else can I pick? This division sucks.
2) Arizona Cardinals - Second place in this division is probably worth 5 wins.
3) Seattle Seahawks - Tavaris Jackson at QB? Why are they not picked to be last?
4) San Francisco 49ers - Oh right, because the Niners are in this division. I hope Harbaugh has a master plan to get Andrew Luck. That would be awesome.
NFC North
1) Green Bay Packers - It's the right pick, but it hurts my soul.
2) Chicago Bears - Could be a homer pick. I think the Bears will be good. Their schedule is tough out of the gate, though. Falcons, Saints, and Packers are the first three weeks. Sack up and Bear Down!
3) Detroit Lions - Much improved team. They get scarier each year.
4) Minnesota Vikings - I thought Donovan McNabb would help the 'Skins last year. In fact, he helped a little... then got benched and I have no idea what happened from there. My point is- the Vikings won't be good.
PLAYOFFS:
AFC Wildcard - Chargers beat Steelers, Ravens beat Jets
NFC Wildcard - Falcons beat Eagles, Cowboys beat Rams
Next round:
AFC - Patriots beat Chargers, Texans beat Ravens
NFC - Packers beat Cowboys, Saints beat Falcons
Conference Championships:
AFC - Patriots beat Texans
NFC - Saints beat Packers (in a re-match of tonight)
Super Bowl:
PATRIOTS beat Saints
We'll see if these predictions are worth a damn. I'm just excited to get this season started tonight. I'm looking for a Saints victory- 35 - 24.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
90s Rock: Best Songs
This list is fucking impossible to make, but I'm going to try to do it anyway. The 90s is my favorite decade of music out of the last five. As an aside, if I had to extinguish one decade's music from existence, my first pick is the 70s. Then it would be the 2000s. I'd much prefer to have the 60s, 80s, and 90s still in my future cloud player that will clearly be jacked directly into my brain like I'm Neo from the Matrix.
But I digress. I was at Dick Tracy's house the other night and we were going through our favorite 90s songs. There were too many to count, so I understand that my efforts will likely be futile. I'm trying to come up with a Top 20, but let's start with the first batch of songs that, if they were at the Cold Stone Creamery, they would come in "Gotta Have It" size.
1) "Dead And Bloated" by Stone Temple Pilots
This song gets me pumped. If I ever needed to win a Super Bowl, murder a vampire, or pull off a bank robbery with Jason Statham, I believe I would pick this song to put me in the right mindset.
Obviously, this song is helped by me just having seen STP in July, but nonetheless, it tops my list of 90s Rock songs. I'm not sure where Scott Weiland's deep grunge voice has disappeared to, but if I could request a return for their next hypothetical record, I would love to do so. Make it happen interwebs!
2) "Drain You" by Nirvana
This song is a classic. It is not overplayed like almost every other song on "Nevermind," and if it ever comes on the radio, I do not change the station. This song really, really brings me back to my youth. I can still remember watching a pink haired Kurt Cobain perform this song on MTV... ya know, back when MTV had music- not just Ronnie and CT knocking fools out.
3) "Them Bones" by Alice In Chains
This list is dominated with songs that get my juices flowing. "Them Bones" is a perfectly written Rock/Metal/Grunge song that stands up all these years later. Layne Staley yelling "AH!" a few times at the beginning sets the stage for an epic rocker with ridiculously memorable harmonies. With two of the original members of AIC dying due to heroin addiction, one has to wonder if they could've produced this song without the drugs. One could also wonder if they could've produced even more great songs had they actually kicked the junk. Much like, "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie pop?"- the world may never know.
4) "Infected" by Bad Religion
Another song that gets me pumped and would keep my attention if it came on the ol' FM radio. Changing the station when this song comes on could get your hand slapped in the same manner as if you were stealing french fries off my plate. Do not do either of those things!
The overlapping lyrics at the end of this song are a highlight of not only just this song, but the entire decade of the 90s.
5) "Standing Outside A Broken Phone Booth With Money In My Hand" by Primitive Radio Gods
I can't name one other song by this band off the top of my head. I'm certain one of my friends had the CD and I listened to it, but this is the only song that stood out- and it is a doozy. I believe the sample in this song is of B.B. King and I still listen to this song regularly to calm myself during particularly stressful days. The piano solo seems awfully improvised, and it works well within the framework of the song.
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Like I said, this list is impossible and ever-changing. The point is, the 90s was a great decade for music and I love reminiscing about the great songs from back then. It brings nostalgia to the forefront of my brain... in a great way. Stay tuned for more songs and bring your list to the party in the comments.
But I digress. I was at Dick Tracy's house the other night and we were going through our favorite 90s songs. There were too many to count, so I understand that my efforts will likely be futile. I'm trying to come up with a Top 20, but let's start with the first batch of songs that, if they were at the Cold Stone Creamery, they would come in "Gotta Have It" size.
1) "Dead And Bloated" by Stone Temple Pilots
This song gets me pumped. If I ever needed to win a Super Bowl, murder a vampire, or pull off a bank robbery with Jason Statham, I believe I would pick this song to put me in the right mindset.
 |
| Making playlists for murder worked for Jessica Biel in "Blade: Trinity." |
2) "Drain You" by Nirvana
This song is a classic. It is not overplayed like almost every other song on "Nevermind," and if it ever comes on the radio, I do not change the station. This song really, really brings me back to my youth. I can still remember watching a pink haired Kurt Cobain perform this song on MTV... ya know, back when MTV had music- not just Ronnie and CT knocking fools out.
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| MTV also had this crazy show that was probably awesome... on WEED! |
3) "Them Bones" by Alice In Chains
This list is dominated with songs that get my juices flowing. "Them Bones" is a perfectly written Rock/Metal/Grunge song that stands up all these years later. Layne Staley yelling "AH!" a few times at the beginning sets the stage for an epic rocker with ridiculously memorable harmonies. With two of the original members of AIC dying due to heroin addiction, one has to wonder if they could've produced this song without the drugs. One could also wonder if they could've produced even more great songs had they actually kicked the junk. Much like, "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie pop?"- the world may never know.
4) "Infected" by Bad Religion
Another song that gets me pumped and would keep my attention if it came on the ol' FM radio. Changing the station when this song comes on could get your hand slapped in the same manner as if you were stealing french fries off my plate. Do not do either of those things!
 |
| "There are several sacred things in this world that you don't ever mess with. One of them happens to be another man's fries." |
5) "Standing Outside A Broken Phone Booth With Money In My Hand" by Primitive Radio Gods
I can't name one other song by this band off the top of my head. I'm certain one of my friends had the CD and I listened to it, but this is the only song that stood out- and it is a doozy. I believe the sample in this song is of B.B. King and I still listen to this song regularly to calm myself during particularly stressful days. The piano solo seems awfully improvised, and it works well within the framework of the song.
---
Like I said, this list is impossible and ever-changing. The point is, the 90s was a great decade for music and I love reminiscing about the great songs from back then. It brings nostalgia to the forefront of my brain... in a great way. Stay tuned for more songs and bring your list to the party in the comments.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
I Hate People
Of course, I don't hate all people, but how on Earth do I have so many blog posts that involve my hatred or annoyance toward people I come across during my normal life? It doesn't seem possible, yet here we are. I'm turning into Larry David as I enter middle-age and that is a scary thought. Or it is hilarious. I can't tell which.
I may have complained about this type of person previously, but I'll give it another go because this type of person bugs me to no end. I played a couple shows this weekend (if you recall, I'm a part-time professional musician) and I felt they both went quite well. I was fielding requests, selling copies of my CD, and having a great time, in general.
Saturday night, I played in Roseville, which at first seemed like it was going to be a light crowd due to Labor Day. Luckily, the crowd rolled in and the show went well. At some point, a group of guys that were all a little overweight entered and went straight to the bar- as they should. One of the guys in the group had those weird earrings that stretch out your earlobes and from the way he looked a me, I could tell he was (or at least thought he was) a musician.
It is an interesting feeling when you know someone is in a room while you play music and you know they are judging you. Much like every 1990s beginning teenager who picked up a guitar and immediately began judging Everclear for simple guitar work, musicians- or more properly, insecure people who occasionally dabble in playing an instrument are often very competitive. I could feel the judgement coming off this dude. I played a few songs and their group called out to ask what I was drinking. "Jack and Coke will get it done," I replied.
Side note: If you see a musician playing at a bar, just give them money as a tip. I know we get to drink on the job, and many musicians will get shit-faced during shows, but let the musician choose what they want to do with your generous gift. As it happens, many bars I play at pay 100% of my bar tab (I don't abuse it), so I don't need you buying me drinks. I'm happy this helps the bar's overall numbers because it will help me continue to work at a particular place, but seriously, if you really want to help out a "starving musician," give them cash tips.
Ok- so them buying me a drink is really not the problem at all. That was nice of them and we'll leave my side note exactly where it should be- on the side. The group finally sat down and continued to watch. I felt like I had won them over for the most part, and that gave me satisfaction because I was pretty certain they were a tough crowd. As the night wore on, more drinks were flowing and about an hour and a half later, this little interaction occurred...
I finished a song and received a nice round of applause. As the clapping died down, stretchy-ears guy's friend yells out, "Let my friend play a song!!!" I had heard grumbling of this during the night, but this was too loud to ignore. I had looked up and given them eye-contact, so I needed to address this dude yelling. I admit, it was not my most creative moment.
"No."
That was my reply. Straightforward and to the point. Apparently, that wasn't an acceptable answer. The friend then came back with a slurred, "Awww, c'mon! Let him play a song!"
"You guys should come back on Monday for Open Mic Night."
I promoted the business and gave them a time for when this guy's friend could in fact play a song. As it turns out, I work pretty damn hard to get the gigs I have, and letting some guy come up and drunkenly embarrass himself and get me fired was not exactly in the plan for the evening. This doesn't even take into account that my guitar is damn expensive and I am NOT letting a stranger play it. Do you get to show up at an accounting firm and have your friend yell at an accountant, "Let my friend run some numbers!!! He's awesome at accounting." 1) I don't know you, so no. 2) If you were so great at accounting, you'd have the job instead of me.
Their reply was pretty standard. One of the friends yelled out, "Oooooooooo, BURN!"
"Is that a burn? I just told you factual info for when you can come up and play."
I started the next song and luckily they dropped it. Other nights I have not been so fortunate.
I know I'm not on the level of musicians who play at large venues where this kind of request would be laughed out of the building, but I am still amazed at how many people think it would be a good idea to ask me if they can "play a song" or "sing a song." It happens probably 1 out of every 3 shows. People need to be reminded that musicians who book a gig put in a lot of time either building good relationships with the venues they play, or they do a lot of networking to gain shows. It is a lot of work. Drunk slobs in the crowd do not get to bypass that work in order to get on stage. That is why they have Open Mics or Karaoke Nights. You may even be a great musician or singer, but there is still a price to be paid in order to get your own spotlight. Do the work and get your own shows instead of giving me a hard time about why you are great and deserve to interrupt my show to play a song. It does not work that way, friends.
On the brighter side- only 2 more days until NFL football is back! I will be rooting HARD for the Breesus Christ and the rest of his Apostles on Thursday against the evil Packers. Let's do this!!!
I may have complained about this type of person previously, but I'll give it another go because this type of person bugs me to no end. I played a couple shows this weekend (if you recall, I'm a part-time professional musician) and I felt they both went quite well. I was fielding requests, selling copies of my CD, and having a great time, in general.
Saturday night, I played in Roseville, which at first seemed like it was going to be a light crowd due to Labor Day. Luckily, the crowd rolled in and the show went well. At some point, a group of guys that were all a little overweight entered and went straight to the bar- as they should. One of the guys in the group had those weird earrings that stretch out your earlobes and from the way he looked a me, I could tell he was (or at least thought he was) a musician.
 |
| Limiting job options since 2001. |
Side note: If you see a musician playing at a bar, just give them money as a tip. I know we get to drink on the job, and many musicians will get shit-faced during shows, but let the musician choose what they want to do with your generous gift. As it happens, many bars I play at pay 100% of my bar tab (I don't abuse it), so I don't need you buying me drinks. I'm happy this helps the bar's overall numbers because it will help me continue to work at a particular place, but seriously, if you really want to help out a "starving musician," give them cash tips.
Ok- so them buying me a drink is really not the problem at all. That was nice of them and we'll leave my side note exactly where it should be- on the side. The group finally sat down and continued to watch. I felt like I had won them over for the most part, and that gave me satisfaction because I was pretty certain they were a tough crowd. As the night wore on, more drinks were flowing and about an hour and a half later, this little interaction occurred...
I finished a song and received a nice round of applause. As the clapping died down, stretchy-ears guy's friend yells out, "Let my friend play a song!!!" I had heard grumbling of this during the night, but this was too loud to ignore. I had looked up and given them eye-contact, so I needed to address this dude yelling. I admit, it was not my most creative moment.
"No."
 |
| "I'ma let chu finish, but my friend will play the best acoustic song of all time!!!" |
"You guys should come back on Monday for Open Mic Night."
I promoted the business and gave them a time for when this guy's friend could in fact play a song. As it turns out, I work pretty damn hard to get the gigs I have, and letting some guy come up and drunkenly embarrass himself and get me fired was not exactly in the plan for the evening. This doesn't even take into account that my guitar is damn expensive and I am NOT letting a stranger play it. Do you get to show up at an accounting firm and have your friend yell at an accountant, "Let my friend run some numbers!!! He's awesome at accounting." 1) I don't know you, so no. 2) If you were so great at accounting, you'd have the job instead of me.
Their reply was pretty standard. One of the friends yelled out, "Oooooooooo, BURN!"
"Is that a burn? I just told you factual info for when you can come up and play."
 |
| I cut my teeth playing open mics three-four times a week when I started and just look at me now! |
I know I'm not on the level of musicians who play at large venues where this kind of request would be laughed out of the building, but I am still amazed at how many people think it would be a good idea to ask me if they can "play a song" or "sing a song." It happens probably 1 out of every 3 shows. People need to be reminded that musicians who book a gig put in a lot of time either building good relationships with the venues they play, or they do a lot of networking to gain shows. It is a lot of work. Drunk slobs in the crowd do not get to bypass that work in order to get on stage. That is why they have Open Mics or Karaoke Nights. You may even be a great musician or singer, but there is still a price to be paid in order to get your own spotlight. Do the work and get your own shows instead of giving me a hard time about why you are great and deserve to interrupt my show to play a song. It does not work that way, friends.
On the brighter side- only 2 more days until NFL football is back! I will be rooting HARD for the Breesus Christ and the rest of his Apostles on Thursday against the evil Packers. Let's do this!!!
Friday, September 2, 2011
Friday Rant
Wow- I have been distracted by Fantasy Football this week! It is funny to think about how many times I'd ever been to HoustonTexans.com before I drafted Arian Foster in two leagues (0), vs. how many times I've been there now (how do I make the infinity sign with my keyboard?) Needless to say, I am concerned. However, I'm thinking he will be ok in the end. If he misses a week or two, I can weather the storm... no longer than that though!
It is sad to say, but Fantasy Football has been my reality this week so I'm not sure what else I have to talk about. The only cure for this writer's block is a horrible bulleted list.
- Carlos Zambrano will start getting paid again on September 11. Coincidence? I think not. However, he will not pitch again for the Cubs this season. And really, what would be the point in letting him? Maybe he gets closer to earning contract bonuses or worse- activating an extra year built into his contract? Yeah- there is no way the Cubs should allow his fat fucking lard ass to touch the dirt at Wrigley Field again (well, unless he's a member of the Astros or something.) Continuing to cheer on Zambrano would be ignorant and I will not participate any longer. I gave him more than a fair shot to win me over and he has failed epically.
- Lance Briggs has "demanded that the Bears trade" him. Wow. Haven't we seen this move before? Didn't he say he would "never play for the Bears again" back in 2007? My boy from Sacramento is making it harder to cheer for him as well. If you are unhappy about the fact the Bears were nice enough to front-load your contract, then 1) you shouldn't have agreed to it and 2) you should've brought this up to the team the SECOND the lockout ended. You will find no sympathy here, Lance. Matt Forte has beef- he was going to get paid less than $1 million to be the feature back on a team that just went to the NFC Championship game. You have already made millions, agreed to a 6 year deal, and are trying to create leverage when you have none. Don't do it... you might join Ced Benson on the Bungles.
- Colin Cowherd is a moron. Why in the world do I listen to this guy, ever? It is probably because I don't have internet radio in my car and cannot continue to listen to Waddle and Silvy on ESPN 1000 in Chicago while I drive to work. This guy claimed that all the East Coast teams are good because crazy fans demand it. He generalized across all sports and even though, time after time, he tells people to be rational, he encouraged fans to be crazy lunatics because owners and GM's will hear them on sports talk radio and improve the team. Sure...
1) The San Francisco Giants just won the World Series. They followed that up by going out and getting the best offensive acquisition they could find (Carlos Beltran) and they still can't score runs to save their lives (just like last year.) I have never heard more venom on sports talk radio than I hear about the current state of the Giants. PS- you just won a World Series. Chill out. I don't think people irrationally complaining has helped the Giants, nor do I think they try harder just because fans complain. Brandon Belt would've come up earlier if that was the case.
2) The San Francisco 49ers were the dominant team in the 80s. People out here are nuts about the Niners. They are dying inside that the Niners continue to suck. The franchise was healthy when they had an innovative head coach (Bill Walsh), followed him with competent coach (Seifert and Mooch) and guess what? Putting Dennis Erickson in as head coach cripple the organization into making a series of bad coaching hires. Do crazy fans have anything to do with this? No.
3) If crazy fans helped teams on the East Coast, the Buffalo Bills would be good.
My point is that Cowherd is an idiot (you knew that) and that geographic quality of franchises have less to do with crazy fans, and more to do with good organizational infrastructure. Sure, fans buying merchandise and tickets help keep teams healthy financially, but there is no coordination between passionate (read as: crazy) fans and success. If that were the case, the Cubs would've won a World Series years ago.
So there is my Friday rant. Have a great Labor Day and I'll see you back here on Tuesday.
It is sad to say, but Fantasy Football has been my reality this week so I'm not sure what else I have to talk about. The only cure for this writer's block is a horrible bulleted list.
- Carlos Zambrano will start getting paid again on September 11. Coincidence? I think not. However, he will not pitch again for the Cubs this season. And really, what would be the point in letting him? Maybe he gets closer to earning contract bonuses or worse- activating an extra year built into his contract? Yeah- there is no way the Cubs should allow his fat fucking lard ass to touch the dirt at Wrigley Field again (well, unless he's a member of the Astros or something.) Continuing to cheer on Zambrano would be ignorant and I will not participate any longer. I gave him more than a fair shot to win me over and he has failed epically.
 |
| Poor Big Z, he only gets $19 million a year to pitch on a bad team. |
 |
| "Two snaps in Z formation." -- Men On Football, In Living Color |
1) The San Francisco Giants just won the World Series. They followed that up by going out and getting the best offensive acquisition they could find (Carlos Beltran) and they still can't score runs to save their lives (just like last year.) I have never heard more venom on sports talk radio than I hear about the current state of the Giants. PS- you just won a World Series. Chill out. I don't think people irrationally complaining has helped the Giants, nor do I think they try harder just because fans complain. Brandon Belt would've come up earlier if that was the case.
2) The San Francisco 49ers were the dominant team in the 80s. People out here are nuts about the Niners. They are dying inside that the Niners continue to suck. The franchise was healthy when they had an innovative head coach (Bill Walsh), followed him with competent coach (Seifert and Mooch) and guess what? Putting Dennis Erickson in as head coach cripple the organization into making a series of bad coaching hires. Do crazy fans have anything to do with this? No.
3) If crazy fans helped teams on the East Coast, the Buffalo Bills would be good.
My point is that Cowherd is an idiot (you knew that) and that geographic quality of franchises have less to do with crazy fans, and more to do with good organizational infrastructure. Sure, fans buying merchandise and tickets help keep teams healthy financially, but there is no coordination between passionate (read as: crazy) fans and success. If that were the case, the Cubs would've won a World Series years ago.
So there is my Friday rant. Have a great Labor Day and I'll see you back here on Tuesday.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Fantasy Football: The Third And Final Draft
I must say, I'm having as much fun as I ever have with Fantasy Football this year. I feel like I'm getting better at drafting, and in fact, I believe that if you look back at the descriptions of all three of my drafts on this site, it is easy to see improvement. Let's see how I did during my third and final draft.
This is the league I won last year when it was a 12 team league. Occasional commenter Clarkster is the commish, and he had to kick out two teams because the owners were dickbags. Well, at least one of them was as he dropped all the players he was allowed to drop three-quarters of the way through the season because his team sucked. What a douche! This means that the league, which was intended to become a keeper league, is not a keeper league. This works well for me because, while I did win the championship last year, my only two remotely good players were Burner Turner and Matt Forte. I pieced to together a squad of scrubs and Rex Grossman and won the goddamn title.
This year, I got the 4th pick in our snake draft. I queued up Jamaal Charles and Aaron Rodgers figuring I would take one or the other...
#1 Adrian Peterson (As expected)
#2 Aaron Rodgers (Wow, that's high, but alright)
#3 Jamaal Charles (Oh snap, son! What the holy fuck do I do now!?)
#4 Arian MRI Foster
I have Foster in my other league, so I figured I would just roll with him here. I'm just hoping that his hammy heals up and that he is fine. Doctors on ESPN seem to think he should be out 3 to 4 weeks. Foster himself said he wouldn't have tweeted the pic if it was "that bad." I don't know what to think. My problem is that in awesomeness of the auction league, I forgot to grab Ben Tate to handcuff Foster. I would not make that same mistake twice...
#5 Ray Rice (I hate Ray Rice)
#6 Chris Johnson (I'd rather gamble with Foster's hammy than with CJ's contract talks)
#7 Andre Johnson
#8 Mike Vick (I won't draft the dogkiller- he's overrated and will be injured at some point)
#9 Roddy White
#10 LeSean McCoy
Round 2 - FIGHT!
#11 Tom Brady
#12 Greg Jennings
#13 Larry Fitzgerald
#14 Calvin Johnson (Calvin and Andre on the same team?! Interesting to see if this strategy works)
#15 MJD (great value here)
#16 Frank Gore (feels like a homer Niner pick)
#17 Drew Brees
That's right- I have the combo of Brees and Foster in two leagues this year. If they both succeed, I'm looking at a pretty fun year. If not, it'll be back to the drawing board next year. Rounding out the second round:
#18 Osama Mendenhall
#19 Michael Turner
#20 Mike Wallace
Well, it looks like I was fortunate this was not a keeper league. My best keeper went at 19. Yikes. Let's look at the rest of my roster:
#24 Matt Forte
#37 Javid Best
#44 Marques Colston (double points, again!)
#57 Ben Jarvis Green-Ellis (too many names, but great RB depth)
#64 Wes Welker (please don't die)
#77 Santa Moss (this is beginning to look like my roster in G$'s league)
#84 Pierre Garcon (yep, it really is... just with more depth at all positions)
#97 Brandon Jacobs
#104 Joe Flacco (quick story about this pick)
I was looking at Jay Cutler here. It would've been a homer-iffic pick. Instead, I quickly looked up the match-ups for Cutler and Flacco during Drew Brees' bye week (week #11.) Flacco is at home against the Bungles and Cutler is at home against the Chargers. I felt like Flacco was the better match up and he was higher on the ESPN default "best available" player list. This was a great pick because Cutler ended up going at #126.
#117 Greg Olsen (not thrilled, but best available TE at this point)
#124 Ben Tate (handcuffed!)
#137 Lee Evans (double points for Week 11!)
#144 Bears D (best available D at the time)
#157 Chris Cooley
#164 Lions D
#177 Kicker (doesn't matter who- I will never pick a kicker higher than the last round ever again!)
There is my team. I have nice RB and WR depth, and while I tried to let my Defense, Tight End and Kicker positions go by the wayside, I have a feeling I'll be ok. As long as Arian doesn't miss too much time, my team will be fine... just fine.
This is the league I won last year when it was a 12 team league. Occasional commenter Clarkster is the commish, and he had to kick out two teams because the owners were dickbags. Well, at least one of them was as he dropped all the players he was allowed to drop three-quarters of the way through the season because his team sucked. What a douche! This means that the league, which was intended to become a keeper league, is not a keeper league. This works well for me because, while I did win the championship last year, my only two remotely good players were Burner Turner and Matt Forte. I pieced to together a squad of scrubs and Rex Grossman and won the goddamn title.
 |
| STONE COLD! STONE COLD! |
#1 Adrian Peterson (As expected)
#2 Aaron Rodgers (Wow, that's high, but alright)
#3 Jamaal Charles (Oh snap, son! What the holy fuck do I do now!?)
#4 Arian MRI Foster
I have Foster in my other league, so I figured I would just roll with him here. I'm just hoping that his hammy heals up and that he is fine. Doctors on ESPN seem to think he should be out 3 to 4 weeks. Foster himself said he wouldn't have tweeted the pic if it was "that bad." I don't know what to think. My problem is that in awesomeness of the auction league, I forgot to grab Ben Tate to handcuff Foster. I would not make that same mistake twice...
#5 Ray Rice (I hate Ray Rice)
#6 Chris Johnson (I'd rather gamble with Foster's hammy than with CJ's contract talks)
#7 Andre Johnson
#8 Mike Vick (I won't draft the dogkiller- he's overrated and will be injured at some point)
#9 Roddy White
#10 LeSean McCoy
Round 2 - FIGHT!
#11 Tom Brady
#12 Greg Jennings
#13 Larry Fitzgerald
#14 Calvin Johnson (Calvin and Andre on the same team?! Interesting to see if this strategy works)
#15 MJD (great value here)
#16 Frank Gore (feels like a homer Niner pick)
#17 Drew Brees
That's right- I have the combo of Brees and Foster in two leagues this year. If they both succeed, I'm looking at a pretty fun year. If not, it'll be back to the drawing board next year. Rounding out the second round:
#18 Osama Mendenhall
#19 Michael Turner
#20 Mike Wallace
Well, it looks like I was fortunate this was not a keeper league. My best keeper went at 19. Yikes. Let's look at the rest of my roster:
#24 Matt Forte
#37 Javid Best
#44 Marques Colston (double points, again!)
#57 Ben Jarvis Green-Ellis (too many names, but great RB depth)
#64 Wes Welker (please don't die)
#77 Santa Moss (this is beginning to look like my roster in G$'s league)
#84 Pierre Garcon (yep, it really is... just with more depth at all positions)
#97 Brandon Jacobs
#104 Joe Flacco (quick story about this pick)
I was looking at Jay Cutler here. It would've been a homer-iffic pick. Instead, I quickly looked up the match-ups for Cutler and Flacco during Drew Brees' bye week (week #11.) Flacco is at home against the Bungles and Cutler is at home against the Chargers. I felt like Flacco was the better match up and he was higher on the ESPN default "best available" player list. This was a great pick because Cutler ended up going at #126.
#117 Greg Olsen (not thrilled, but best available TE at this point)
#124 Ben Tate (handcuffed!)
#137 Lee Evans (double points for Week 11!)
#144 Bears D (best available D at the time)
#157 Chris Cooley
#164 Lions D
#177 Kicker (doesn't matter who- I will never pick a kicker higher than the last round ever again!)
There is my team. I have nice RB and WR depth, and while I tried to let my Defense, Tight End and Kicker positions go by the wayside, I have a feeling I'll be ok. As long as Arian doesn't miss too much time, my team will be fine... just fine.
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