I Hate People

Of course, I don't hate all people, but how on Earth do I have so many blog posts that involve my hatred or annoyance toward people I come across during my normal life?  It doesn't seem possible, yet here we are.  I'm turning into Larry David as I enter middle-age and that is a scary thought.  Or it is hilarious.  I can't tell which. 

I may have complained about this type of person previously, but I'll give it another go because this type of person bugs me to no end.  I played a couple shows this weekend (if you recall, I'm a part-time professional musician) and I felt they both went quite well.  I was fielding requests, selling copies of my CD, and having a great time, in general. 

Saturday night, I played in Roseville, which at first seemed like it was going to be a light crowd due to Labor Day.  Luckily, the crowd rolled in and the show went well.  At some point, a group of guys that were all a little overweight entered and went straight to the bar- as they should.  One of the guys in the group had those weird earrings that stretch out your earlobes and from the way he looked a me, I could tell he was (or at least thought he was) a musician. 

Limiting job options since 2001.

It is an interesting feeling when you know someone is in a room while you play music and you know they are judging you.  Much like every 1990s beginning teenager who picked up a guitar and immediately began judging Everclear for simple guitar work, musicians- or more properly, insecure people who occasionally dabble in playing an instrument are often very competitive.  I could feel the judgement coming off this dude.  I played a few songs and their group called out to ask what I was drinking.  "Jack and Coke will get it done," I replied. 

Side note: If you see a musician playing at a bar, just give them money as a tip.  I know we get to drink on the job, and many musicians will get shit-faced during shows, but let the musician choose what they want to do with your generous gift.  As it happens, many bars I play at pay 100% of my bar tab (I don't abuse it), so I don't need you buying me drinks.  I'm happy this helps the bar's overall numbers because it will help me continue to work at a particular place, but seriously, if you really want to help out a "starving musician," give them cash tips.

Ok- so them buying me a drink is really not the problem at all.  That was nice of them and we'll leave my side note exactly where it should be- on the side.  The group finally sat down and continued to watch.  I felt like I had won them over for the most part, and that gave me satisfaction because I was pretty certain they were a tough crowd.  As the night wore on, more drinks were flowing and about an hour and a half later, this little interaction occurred...

I finished a song and received a nice round of applause.  As the clapping died down, stretchy-ears guy's friend yells out, "Let my friend play a song!!!"  I had heard grumbling of this during the night, but this was too loud to ignore.  I had looked up and given them eye-contact, so I needed to address this dude yelling.  I admit, it was not my most creative moment. 

"No."

"I'ma let chu finish, but my friend will play the best acoustic song of all time!!!"

That was my reply.  Straightforward and to the point.  Apparently, that wasn't an acceptable answer.  The friend then came back with a slurred, "Awww, c'mon!  Let him play a song!" 

"You guys should come back on Monday for Open Mic Night."

I promoted the business and gave them a time for when this guy's friend could in fact play a song.  As it turns out, I work pretty damn hard to get the gigs I have, and letting some guy come up and drunkenly embarrass himself and get me fired was not exactly in the plan for the evening.  This doesn't even take into account that my guitar is damn expensive and I am NOT letting a stranger play it.  Do you get to show up at an accounting firm and have your friend yell at an accountant, "Let my friend run some numbers!!!  He's awesome at accounting."  1) I don't know you, so no.  2) If you were so great at accounting, you'd have the job instead of me. 

Their reply was pretty standard.  One of the friends yelled out, "Oooooooooo, BURN!" 

"Is that a burn?  I just told you factual info for when you can come up and play." 

I cut my teeth playing open mics three-four times a week when I started and just look at me now!

I started the next song and luckily they dropped it.  Other nights I have not been so fortunate. 

I know I'm not on the level of musicians who play at large venues where this kind of request would be laughed out of the building, but I am still amazed at how many people think it would be a good idea to ask me if they can "play a song" or "sing a song."  It happens probably 1 out of every 3 shows.  People need to be reminded that musicians who book a gig put in a lot of time either building good relationships with the venues they play, or they do a lot of networking to gain shows.  It is a lot of work.  Drunk slobs in the crowd do not get to bypass that work in order to get on stage.  That is why they have Open Mics or Karaoke Nights.  You may even be a great musician or singer, but there is still a price to be paid in order to get your own spotlight.  Do the work and get your own shows instead of giving me a hard time about why you are great and deserve to interrupt my show to play a song.  It does not work that way, friends. 

On the brighter side- only 2 more days until NFL football is back!  I will be rooting HARD for the Breesus Christ and the rest of his Apostles on Thursday against the evil Packers.  Let's do this!!!