G$ and his hoard of commenters were nice enough to include this West Coast guy in their auction draft last night. Having never participated in an auction draft before, I was excited but nervous going in. I mean, I really didn't know exactly what I was doing, but figured I'd go in with a loose plan and figure it out from there.
I wanted to get one of the top RB's and preferably Drew Brees or Phillip Rivers. $102 later (out of $200), I was the proud owner of Arian Foster ($61) and Drew Brees ($41.) I'm unsure if I overpaid for these guys, but I was happy with myself and that's all the matters- right?! Other big/mediocre acquisitions to my team were:
Ahmed Bradshaw - $23
Marques Colston (double points!) - $20
Matt Ryan - $13 for a great back up QB
Santana Moss - $7
Pierre Garcon - $7
Steve Smith (CAR) - $5
Plaxico Burress - $5
Admittedly, my biggest weakness are my back up RB's. I have no depth at RB. Toby Gerhert, Marion Barber, and Ronnie Brown put me in a position to need a #1 RB to go down with injury before any of these guys get serious minutes. Unless they are stealing touchdowns (very possible), these guys will ride the bench. Smith and Plax have upside at the FLEX position.
Jimmy Graham, Chargers D, and Robbie Gould round out my starters. I also have Brent Celek on the bench.
No matter what the outcome is, I had a lot of fun participating in an auction draft. G$ and Co. brought it with their funny/sick/stupid comments throughout. I'm sure G$ will weigh in on his team and my team. I'm interested to find out what the one-time champion's thoughts are on my team.
Last, for any of you SF Giants fans out there- your team is awful. In no way should the Cubs come into your house and abuse your team. The Cubs are throwing your team on a pinball machine and abusing them like they are Jodie Foster. The funny thing is, I actually want the Giants to make the playoffs! It would make things more interesting, just like last year. Take control, Gigantes! San Francisco has no hope in the 49ers, so you must turn this around ASAP!
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Another Great Trip To The Peppermill Reno
As mentioned in my tiny post from yesterday, Mrs. P. and I went up for a quick trip to the Peppermill Reno. Let's see if I can work up a quick summary.
We arrived around 4pm and immediately hit up the VIP Services area. I must admit, the check in was potentially the fastest I've ever experience. This was impressive because it was actually quite busy when we got there. Our phenomenal casino host/friend had upgraded us to a Tuscany Tower suite, which was awesome, but when we checked in we were told we were on the 17th floor. Mrs. P. immediately said, "Oh, I think the bigger suites are up there." Sure enough, we had a large suite with a full extra sitting room! So great. It was a type of suite that we had never stayed in previously, so it was another awesome thing we got to check off our list at the Pmill.
We made dinner reservations for 8pm and decided to gamble a bit to kill some time. An interesting situation came up immediately after sitting at a Roulette table.
Mrs. P. had some Free Play chips to bet and I sat with $100 to play with. The first few bets didn't go our way, but Mrs. P. eventually won a bet with a Free Play bet. The dealer forget to pay her and we questioned that and the pit boss said, "I saw that coming," meaning he knew the dealer had missed that bet. Mrs. P. was paid- no harm, no foul.
A few spins later, I bet $10- $5 on black, five $1 bets on 4, 9, 24, 29, and the split of 22 and 23. 23 came up and I looked at the table, saw my chip and was patient while the dealer paid everyone else (I was last in the payment rotation.) She had cleared the table and cleared my chip of the table. I looked at her and said, "What?! I had the 22/23 split. I am not getting paid."
She replied, "You didn't say anything when I cleared the chips."
I said, "I have to tell you every time I make a bet and make sure you're paying out correctly?"
The pit boss got involved and I said, "Can we check the tape?" I was absolutely sure I was not wrong in this matter. The pit boss was pretty flippant about things and said, "It would take 30 minutes." I didn't back down, so he just paid me the money. Mrs. P. then demanded to color up and leave the table. I followed suit and the whole rest of the table cleared out as well. It was odd because we are used to better customer service than that at the Pmill. I'm hoping that dealer was new. When confronted with another mistake she made, she tried to throw the customer under the bus. Definitely not the best tactic, so we took our talents to the Craps table.
Immediately, we were up cash rolling dice, so our decision to move tables was the correct one. The dealers were friendly, and I placed bets for the them accordingly. I was up $130 and Mrs. P. was up $80 as we left to get ready for dinner.
Dinner at Chi was damn amazing. We had a nice romantic table, a server we knew (Miriam), and Patrick the manager came over to say hello. Just like Cheers, it is nice going to a place where everyone knows your name. Phenomenal dinner as usual, and we went to play some Video Poker to digest our food.
While playing, we witnessed the most dysfunctional older couple playing next to us. The woman was emasculating her husband for "picking the wrong machine" and "making awful decisions" while playing whatever game they were playing. We witnessed these people lose all their money. Then the husband looks at Mrs. P. and tells her, "You should play the Crazy 7's game." Mrs. P. looked at him like he had three eyes and said, "It's ok- we'll stick with our Double Double Bonus Poker. We're doing just fine with that."
After ignoring the awful advice, each of us hit 4 of a kinds to build a bit more disposable income, and we went back over to the Craps table. After getting destroyed initially, the dice started heating up. A few good rolls brought us back up a little, then I took the dice...
Things got crazy. I probably rolled the best I have ever rolled in my life. I made at least 8 passes, plus some Come Line bets along the way. I started "WOOOOing" like Ric Flair and eventually got to some "Stylin' & Profilin'." It was sick. Unfortunately, the destruction early and late in the session put me at even, but what are you going to do? It was definitely another exciting time rolling dice.
Last on the list, we had a quick late night meal at Cafe Milano to soak up some of the cocktails we had had earlier in the evening. After getting one number away from a $500 payout on Keno, we finished up our meal and retired to the suite. Another fantastic trip in the books.
Tonight I have my very first auction fantasy football draft. I just hope it is not a train wreck. We'll see how it goes...
We arrived around 4pm and immediately hit up the VIP Services area. I must admit, the check in was potentially the fastest I've ever experience. This was impressive because it was actually quite busy when we got there. Our phenomenal casino host/friend had upgraded us to a Tuscany Tower suite, which was awesome, but when we checked in we were told we were on the 17th floor. Mrs. P. immediately said, "Oh, I think the bigger suites are up there." Sure enough, we had a large suite with a full extra sitting room! So great. It was a type of suite that we had never stayed in previously, so it was another awesome thing we got to check off our list at the Pmill.
We made dinner reservations for 8pm and decided to gamble a bit to kill some time. An interesting situation came up immediately after sitting at a Roulette table.
Mrs. P. had some Free Play chips to bet and I sat with $100 to play with. The first few bets didn't go our way, but Mrs. P. eventually won a bet with a Free Play bet. The dealer forget to pay her and we questioned that and the pit boss said, "I saw that coming," meaning he knew the dealer had missed that bet. Mrs. P. was paid- no harm, no foul.
A few spins later, I bet $10- $5 on black, five $1 bets on 4, 9, 24, 29, and the split of 22 and 23. 23 came up and I looked at the table, saw my chip and was patient while the dealer paid everyone else (I was last in the payment rotation.) She had cleared the table and cleared my chip of the table. I looked at her and said, "What?! I had the 22/23 split. I am not getting paid."
She replied, "You didn't say anything when I cleared the chips."
I said, "I have to tell you every time I make a bet and make sure you're paying out correctly?"
The pit boss got involved and I said, "Can we check the tape?" I was absolutely sure I was not wrong in this matter. The pit boss was pretty flippant about things and said, "It would take 30 minutes." I didn't back down, so he just paid me the money. Mrs. P. then demanded to color up and leave the table. I followed suit and the whole rest of the table cleared out as well. It was odd because we are used to better customer service than that at the Pmill. I'm hoping that dealer was new. When confronted with another mistake she made, she tried to throw the customer under the bus. Definitely not the best tactic, so we took our talents to the Craps table.
Immediately, we were up cash rolling dice, so our decision to move tables was the correct one. The dealers were friendly, and I placed bets for the them accordingly. I was up $130 and Mrs. P. was up $80 as we left to get ready for dinner.
Dinner at Chi was damn amazing. We had a nice romantic table, a server we knew (Miriam), and Patrick the manager came over to say hello. Just like Cheers, it is nice going to a place where everyone knows your name. Phenomenal dinner as usual, and we went to play some Video Poker to digest our food.
While playing, we witnessed the most dysfunctional older couple playing next to us. The woman was emasculating her husband for "picking the wrong machine" and "making awful decisions" while playing whatever game they were playing. We witnessed these people lose all their money. Then the husband looks at Mrs. P. and tells her, "You should play the Crazy 7's game." Mrs. P. looked at him like he had three eyes and said, "It's ok- we'll stick with our Double Double Bonus Poker. We're doing just fine with that."
After ignoring the awful advice, each of us hit 4 of a kinds to build a bit more disposable income, and we went back over to the Craps table. After getting destroyed initially, the dice started heating up. A few good rolls brought us back up a little, then I took the dice...
Things got crazy. I probably rolled the best I have ever rolled in my life. I made at least 8 passes, plus some Come Line bets along the way. I started "WOOOOing" like Ric Flair and eventually got to some "Stylin' & Profilin'." It was sick. Unfortunately, the destruction early and late in the session put me at even, but what are you going to do? It was definitely another exciting time rolling dice.
Last on the list, we had a quick late night meal at Cafe Milano to soak up some of the cocktails we had had earlier in the evening. After getting one number away from a $500 payout on Keno, we finished up our meal and retired to the suite. Another fantastic trip in the books.
Tonight I have my very first auction fantasy football draft. I just hope it is not a train wreck. We'll see how it goes...
Monday, August 29, 2011
At The Peppermill...
No post today because Mrs. P. is getting dental work done in Reno at 10am. We took that as an opportunity to go up to the Peppermill for at night. I can say we've already had a diagreement with a dealer, which was paid so whatever. I'm sure I'm right because we won money at another table right after. The gambling gods have spoken!
Also, today is the 4 year anniversary of Mrs. P.'s and my first date. We played Scabble at a Sacramento pub and had a great time. I'm a lucky guy!
See you tomorrow right here.
Also, today is the 4 year anniversary of Mrs. P.'s and my first date. We played Scabble at a Sacramento pub and had a great time. I'm a lucky guy!
See you tomorrow right here.
Friday, August 26, 2011
First Fantasy Draft In The Books
Alright folks, it is causal Friday here at Prime99. I spent my Thursday night drinking Gentleman Jack, listening to STP, and drafting my first fantasy football team.
I was randomly given the ninth pick out of ten teams. I had a lot of fun making ridiculous drunk comments to the rest of the league- some of whom I don't know at all. Pushing all that aside, let's look at the team I have acquired:
AP was taken #1 | Arian Foster went #2 | #3 was inexplicably the terrorist Rashad Mendenhall | Ray Rice went #4 | Chris Johnson held out til #5 (get it?!) | Jamaal Charles was #6 | Aaron Rodgers #7 | Darren McFadden #8 | and my pick was...
Michael Turner. Not bad for #9. I wanted a stable RB. I probably would've drafted Aaron Rodgers if he dropped to me, but I'm content with Turner.
#10 was Shady McCoy
#11 was Andre Johnson
And as the draft snaked back to me, I selected...
Phillip Rivers at #12. I feel he's primed for a nice year and I will enjoy reaping the benefits of the gorgeous whether in The Whale's Vagina.
Let's list the rest of my team without worrying about who was picked when:
WR Vincent Jackson (double points!)
WR Miles Austin (he has gorgeous eyes!)
RB Knowshon Moreno (Odd name, I hope he's sick)
TE Owen Daniels (ready for a big year)
FLEX Javid Best (start putting up those numbers from Cal... sans the concussions...)
K Robbie Gould (had to get my Bears on somewhere)
Bench: Bouldin, Ingram, Orton Express, Rashad Jennings, Devin Hester, Aaron Hernandez, and sleeper Colt McCoy
DEF - Patriots
DEF - Giants
So what do you think? Am I a contender without knowing any of the other teams' rosters? I named my team CORE after the first STP album. I want to rape the rest of the league while I force them to listen to "Sex Type Thing."
I love Fantasy Football.
 |
| The official drink for Fantasy Football Drafts. |
AP was taken #1 | Arian Foster went #2 | #3 was inexplicably the terrorist Rashad Mendenhall | Ray Rice went #4 | Chris Johnson held out til #5 (get it?!) | Jamaal Charles was #6 | Aaron Rodgers #7 | Darren McFadden #8 | and my pick was...
Michael Turner. Not bad for #9. I wanted a stable RB. I probably would've drafted Aaron Rodgers if he dropped to me, but I'm content with Turner.
#10 was Shady McCoy
#11 was Andre Johnson
And as the draft snaked back to me, I selected...
Phillip Rivers at #12. I feel he's primed for a nice year and I will enjoy reaping the benefits of the gorgeous whether in The Whale's Vagina.
| Go fuck yourself, San Diego. |
WR Vincent Jackson (double points!)
WR Miles Austin (he has gorgeous eyes!)
RB Knowshon Moreno (Odd name, I hope he's sick)
TE Owen Daniels (ready for a big year)
FLEX Javid Best (start putting up those numbers from Cal... sans the concussions...)
K Robbie Gould (had to get my Bears on somewhere)
Bench: Bouldin, Ingram, Orton Express, Rashad Jennings, Devin Hester, Aaron Hernandez, and sleeper Colt McCoy
DEF - Patriots
DEF - Giants
So what do you think? Am I a contender without knowing any of the other teams' rosters? I named my team CORE after the first STP album. I want to rape the rest of the league while I force them to listen to "Sex Type Thing."
 |
| A warning to the rest of the league. |
Thursday, August 25, 2011
The Laziest Shit I've Ever Seen
I tend to write about annoying people from the gym a lot. I'm not sure it is so much that lots annoying people exist at the gym, it's probably more that annoying people are everywhere and I tend to regularly go to the gym. The gym is just the place I happen run into these bottom feeders.
So I attended my usual weightlifting class at a location I had never been to until yesterday (I got to 24 Hour Fitness and can go to any location.) The class instructor was not the best, but certainly not the worst, so my experience was mostly average.
The main part of this story occurs half way through the class. An overweight Asian girl walks into class late, finds a spot in the middle of the floor, and begins to gather her weights. My first thought was, "Wow, I can't believe this fat girl is even trying to start class now, she already missed half of it! Oh well, good for her. Maybe she got caught up at work or something."
She collected heavier weight than I would have guessed would be appropriate. She also gathered lighter dumbbells that some of the women in class use. It was a confusing collection of weight selections (hey, that rhymes!) I was interested, so I continued to observe as she started to join the class.
Hilariously, she began to lift with the class and after literally four reps she realized the bar was too heavy. Instead of just taking some weight off of the bar like a normal person, she took weight off the bar and walked it all the way back over to the weight racks. Most people take weight on and off the bar during class and there really is no need to put away any weights until the conclusion of class. This girl had just gotten these weights, and used the weight as an excuse to do less exercise! Brilliant! She is being a lazy fat fuck at an optional class that she does not even have to be at!
She then picks up some of the dumbbells she selected. After five or six reps, those are now too heavy! She walks all the way over and slowly switches out weights while the rest of the class continues their workout. It was fucking unreal. There was clearly no point in her even going to half-a-class that she had no desire to participate in. I guess she mentally wanted to feel like, "Yeah, I went to workout class- it was difficult. Now, let me treat myself guilt-free to some Jack-In-The-Box!" What a piece of shit.
Oh, but she was not done! This out-of-shape Sumo-Wrestler-Looking woman had one more trick up her sleeve. The last station of class is when we do an ab workout. Many people in class who I like to refer to as "underachievers" or "quitters" will begin putting away their weights and completely skip the ab workout without even trying. I thought that this girl would certainly stay for abs since she showed up halfway through, then spent most of the class walking back and forth to the weight racks or dumbbell boxes. Of course, she begins to put away her weights in order to clean her area and effectively skip the ab workout.
In total, I'm guessing she got a solid 45 seconds of working out, though from looking at the amount of sweat beading off her thick piggy arms, one would think she ran a marathon. She did a great job of distracting and infuriating me (and other class members commented on it also) for no good reason at all. I have made a lot of fat jokes today and do I honestly have a problem with fat people? No, I do not. I have a problem with people who show up to workout and don't even try just so they can give themselves a false sense of effort. I highly respect overweight people giving it their best effort in class. I find it admirable that they are taking steps to make themselves healthier. I do not respect someone who comes into class just to make a big scene, distract the rest of the people who want to be there, just so they can accomplish nothing. That- I find disgusting.
In the end, I will bet any amount of money that this girl putting away her weights throughout class would not put that much effort in to clean her own place of residence. She seems like the laziest person I have ever come across in all my days.
So I attended my usual weightlifting class at a location I had never been to until yesterday (I got to 24 Hour Fitness and can go to any location.) The class instructor was not the best, but certainly not the worst, so my experience was mostly average.
The main part of this story occurs half way through the class. An overweight Asian girl walks into class late, finds a spot in the middle of the floor, and begins to gather her weights. My first thought was, "Wow, I can't believe this fat girl is even trying to start class now, she already missed half of it! Oh well, good for her. Maybe she got caught up at work or something."
 |
| She looked like this with much, much less muscle definition. |
Hilariously, she began to lift with the class and after literally four reps she realized the bar was too heavy. Instead of just taking some weight off of the bar like a normal person, she took weight off the bar and walked it all the way back over to the weight racks. Most people take weight on and off the bar during class and there really is no need to put away any weights until the conclusion of class. This girl had just gotten these weights, and used the weight as an excuse to do less exercise! Brilliant! She is being a lazy fat fuck at an optional class that she does not even have to be at!
She then picks up some of the dumbbells she selected. After five or six reps, those are now too heavy! She walks all the way over and slowly switches out weights while the rest of the class continues their workout. It was fucking unreal. There was clearly no point in her even going to half-a-class that she had no desire to participate in. I guess she mentally wanted to feel like, "Yeah, I went to workout class- it was difficult. Now, let me treat myself guilt-free to some Jack-In-The-Box!" What a piece of shit.
 |
| If she was going to clean so much, at least she could've looked like this. |
 |
| "Abs? Hehe, I think not." |
In the end, I will bet any amount of money that this girl putting away her weights throughout class would not put that much effort in to clean her own place of residence. She seems like the laziest person I have ever come across in all my days.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
The Music Vs. The Personal Lives Of Musicians
I figured we'd take a Wednesday off from the 90s Rock thing because I'm running out of bands to talk about and I have another music related topic to talk about. I was listening to Colin Cowherd (bad start- I know) and he was talking about how he could care less about the Miami and Ohio State scandals in relation to his enjoyment of College Football. His comparison was that if you "loved your favorite ice cream, then found out the CEO was a crook, would the ice cream taste worse?" His conclusion was "no, it would not." But does this really hold up?
I have always wondered about this scenario while thinking about my favorite musicians. Here are some examples:
- My former boss at Tower Records (I worked there in college) once freaked out at me for putting on a brand new Cake record. We had a 6-Disc changer than played music throughout the store. We could put on anything we wanted as long as the swearing was edited out. I would usually just load up the player with Beck's "Midnight Vultures," Radiohead's "Kid A," Bob Marley's "Exodus," and three other records of choice- probably new albums that would sell if customers heard them. Cake had released a new album and being that we were close to their home town of Sacramento, I figured it would be a good idea to promote the CD.
My manager, who was kind of a douche, came out from the back and jumped down my throat.
"What is this?!" he asked with disdain.
"The new Cake album," I replied innocently.
"Turn it off. Never put this on again."
"Cake is from Sacramento. I thought it would be good to promote their new album."
"Just turn it off."
"Uhhh... OK."
So I did as instructed, still confused about what just happened. A little while later, I was in the back of the store and my manager came up to me and gave me this nugget of information.
"Hey, just so you know, my ex-girlfriend used to go to lots of Cake shows back when they were just a local band. She ended up cheating on me with the lead singer. I don't want to hear their record played in store at all."
Outwardly, I gave sympathy. Inside, I laughed to myself. From then on, I would occasionally sneak the Cake record into rotation when my manager was on break. It would randomly come on and he would try to control his anger. I was careful to make sure he didn't know I had put the CD in there.
So I think we can strongly conclude that if a band's lead singer sleeps with your girlfriend, you will ignore the quality of the music and end up hating them. (Side note: In no way am I saying that Cake has great music- I like a few songs, but that's about it.)
---
Next up- My former roommate and best man at my wedding liked a local musician who currently tours the country. His girlfriend at the time, who also lived with us, enjoyed the same musician and became friends with him on Myspace (yes, this was a few years ago.) She was also taking guitar lessons from one of this musician's friends. She had told the guitar teacher how much she liked the guy's music, word got around, and from what I understand, the musician attempted a Myspace booty call at some point.
Now, I don't think anything happened, but in the long run, my friend and his girlfriend ended up breaking up- which was best for all parties involved. A year or two later, my other friend, also a musician, opened for the popular booty-calling musician and I was able to hang out backstage with everyone. In fact, I had let my friend borrow my guitar, and the popular musician took a look at it, played it, complemented my instrument (haha- that sounded funny) and the whole time I was thinking about how he tried to booty call my friend's girlfriend.
My best man probably doesn't listen to this guy's music much any more, but I think he holds less of a grudge because nothing actually happened and because he and his ex were on the way to break-up city anyway.
The conclusion here is a bit more muddled. I still don't necessarily mind listening to this guy's music, but it definitely gave me some background info that was not favorable to me being too big of a fan.
---
Amy Winehouse.
Well, I never really liked her music, so this isn't a very fair example, but I can't stand her and apparently she can't stand herself any longer. I have zero sympathy to a drug addict that was given chances to fix themselves in order to live a long, prosperous, and talented life. I was shocked that she had any fans left who gave a shit about her. She hadn't released music in quite a while due to her drug addiction, so I figured everyone would just give up on her the way she gave up on herself.
Maybe a more fair comparison is Kurt Cobain. I enjoy Nirvana as much as the next guy from my generation, but I'm sure him killing himself put a damper on the overall utility that his music provides to my ears.
Conclusion, drug addiction and suicide probably put a damper on the fan experience, but it is still possible to enjoy the music.
---
I'm sure there are many more examples to investigate, but my overall opinion is that musicians' work and their personal lives are mostly separate. It is possible to like the music of a shithead and ignore their personal shortcomings. The line usually gets drawn if a musician sleeps with your girlfriend or punches you in the face (i.e. does something negative and personal to you.)
What do you think? Hate any bands solely due to their actions that get fleshed out in the tabloids? How about Kings Of Leon? They seem to be the douchiest of the douchy these days, but there music is still pretty decent.
There may not be a steadfast rule on this, but it is interesting to think about whether musical enjoyment can be affected by an artist's personal actions. I mean, really- do their actions have anything to do with the music they produce? The more depressed and screwed up they are, the better songs they may write anyhow!
I have always wondered about this scenario while thinking about my favorite musicians. Here are some examples:
- My former boss at Tower Records (I worked there in college) once freaked out at me for putting on a brand new Cake record. We had a 6-Disc changer than played music throughout the store. We could put on anything we wanted as long as the swearing was edited out. I would usually just load up the player with Beck's "Midnight Vultures," Radiohead's "Kid A," Bob Marley's "Exodus," and three other records of choice- probably new albums that would sell if customers heard them. Cake had released a new album and being that we were close to their home town of Sacramento, I figured it would be a good idea to promote the CD.
My manager, who was kind of a douche, came out from the back and jumped down my throat.
"What is this?!" he asked with disdain.
"The new Cake album," I replied innocently.
"Turn it off. Never put this on again."
"Cake is from Sacramento. I thought it would be good to promote their new album."
"Just turn it off."
"Uhhh... OK."
So I did as instructed, still confused about what just happened. A little while later, I was in the back of the store and my manager came up to me and gave me this nugget of information.
"Hey, just so you know, my ex-girlfriend used to go to lots of Cake shows back when they were just a local band. She ended up cheating on me with the lead singer. I don't want to hear their record played in store at all."
 |
| If this was my boss, she would not have cheated. |
So I think we can strongly conclude that if a band's lead singer sleeps with your girlfriend, you will ignore the quality of the music and end up hating them. (Side note: In no way am I saying that Cake has great music- I like a few songs, but that's about it.)
---
Next up- My former roommate and best man at my wedding liked a local musician who currently tours the country. His girlfriend at the time, who also lived with us, enjoyed the same musician and became friends with him on Myspace (yes, this was a few years ago.) She was also taking guitar lessons from one of this musician's friends. She had told the guitar teacher how much she liked the guy's music, word got around, and from what I understand, the musician attempted a Myspace booty call at some point.
 |
| And booty calls. |
My best man probably doesn't listen to this guy's music much any more, but I think he holds less of a grudge because nothing actually happened and because he and his ex were on the way to break-up city anyway.
The conclusion here is a bit more muddled. I still don't necessarily mind listening to this guy's music, but it definitely gave me some background info that was not favorable to me being too big of a fan.
---
Amy Winehouse.
 |
| I am unsure if this is before or after her death. |
Maybe a more fair comparison is Kurt Cobain. I enjoy Nirvana as much as the next guy from my generation, but I'm sure him killing himself put a damper on the overall utility that his music provides to my ears.
Conclusion, drug addiction and suicide probably put a damper on the fan experience, but it is still possible to enjoy the music.
---
I'm sure there are many more examples to investigate, but my overall opinion is that musicians' work and their personal lives are mostly separate. It is possible to like the music of a shithead and ignore their personal shortcomings. The line usually gets drawn if a musician sleeps with your girlfriend or punches you in the face (i.e. does something negative and personal to you.)
What do you think? Hate any bands solely due to their actions that get fleshed out in the tabloids? How about Kings Of Leon? They seem to be the douchiest of the douchy these days, but there music is still pretty decent.
There may not be a steadfast rule on this, but it is interesting to think about whether musical enjoyment can be affected by an artist's personal actions. I mean, really- do their actions have anything to do with the music they produce? The more depressed and screwed up they are, the better songs they may write anyhow!
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
It's Just Preseason... It's Just Preseason...
I have to remind myself of that fact over and over after last night's 41-13 drubbing the NY Giants put on the Chicago Bears. I got home from work already having missed part of the game, then debated skipping the gym to watch the Bears. The first play I saw was Jay Cutler hit Devin Hester on a nice long pass down the sideline. The next play was a screen pass to Matt Forte who ran for 40+ yards. Finally, I watched in horror as the Bears stalled and were forced to kick a field goal knotting the game at 3-3. After this drive, I decided to go to the gym and not worry about the rest of the game. I had seen a few very positive plays, but was disappointed at the lack of finishing.
Of course, upon leaving the gym I threw on the AM radio and found that the Bears had been destroyed by Eli Manning and his butt-buddies. I'm not sure how to feel about all of that. In general, Jay Cutler looked OK from what I saw, and I can't imagine they played many of the starters in the second half. Also, the Giants lost Terrell Thomas to a torn ACL, so at least the Bears didn't suffer a significant injury like that. Last but not least, the Bears went 0-4 last year in the preseason and looked dreadful. However, during the year they won the NFC North and advanced to the NFC Championship Game.
Do I expect the Bears to be as good as they were last year? I don't think I do. I am really not sure what to expect. I do know their division should be more difficult and their schedule is fairly tough. I also know they play one game in London. I've seen terrible teams go 4-0 in preseason only to not win 4 games during the regular season, so it is hard to put stock into meaningless games. It is nice to see the team you cheer for do well, though...
Here is my hope- that the Bears getting their ass kicked last night provides them with the proper motivation to get better. I'm not sure why professional athletes need tangible let downs for extra motivation, but I suppose it works that way in the "real world" as well. If you make a mistake big enough for your boss to get on your case, you'll put in that extra effort to prove that you are not as bad as the current status of the Bears' offensive line.
The moral of this post is two-fold. 1) I cannot put too much stock into the preseason results. If the Bears had won 41-13, that would have been cool, but it would not mean they were automatically Super Bowl bound. Since they lost in a landslide, I cannot condemn them to drafting Andrew Luck, either (though... that's awfully tempting...)
2) I'm extremely glad I went to the gym instead of watching the entirety of the second game of the preseason. It was a better decision than watching the Bears get their dicks stomped in a meaningless game. I win!
Last but not least, what is up with the Bay Area/California fans these days? Bryan Stow is still in the hospital from the beating he took at Dodger Stadium, and now fools are getting shot at The Stick? Guess who is not going to the O.Co Coliseum when the Bears visit the Raiders this year? This fucking guy. I'll watch the game on TV... wait- what's that? The game will be Silver-And-Blacked out? Fucking hell. The Raiders are like a deadly virus that spreads making everything worse.
Terrell Pryor will fit right in down in Oakland.
Of course, upon leaving the gym I threw on the AM radio and found that the Bears had been destroyed by Eli Manning and his butt-buddies. I'm not sure how to feel about all of that. In general, Jay Cutler looked OK from what I saw, and I can't imagine they played many of the starters in the second half. Also, the Giants lost Terrell Thomas to a torn ACL, so at least the Bears didn't suffer a significant injury like that. Last but not least, the Bears went 0-4 last year in the preseason and looked dreadful. However, during the year they won the NFC North and advanced to the NFC Championship Game.
 |
| Yes, Jay. I know the feeling. |
Here is my hope- that the Bears getting their ass kicked last night provides them with the proper motivation to get better. I'm not sure why professional athletes need tangible let downs for extra motivation, but I suppose it works that way in the "real world" as well. If you make a mistake big enough for your boss to get on your case, you'll put in that extra effort to prove that you are not as bad as the current status of the Bears' offensive line.
The moral of this post is two-fold. 1) I cannot put too much stock into the preseason results. If the Bears had won 41-13, that would have been cool, but it would not mean they were automatically Super Bowl bound. Since they lost in a landslide, I cannot condemn them to drafting Andrew Luck, either (though... that's awfully tempting...)
2) I'm extremely glad I went to the gym instead of watching the entirety of the second game of the preseason. It was a better decision than watching the Bears get their dicks stomped in a meaningless game. I win!
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| I may end up looking like the other Jay Cutler. |
| "We've got to find that monkey!" |
Monday, August 22, 2011
Very Superstitious, Writing's On The Wall
After playing a show on Friday night, I had the good fortune to attend my friend's bachelor party in Tahoe. It was great to catch up with a some of my friends that I do not see as much as I'd like. However, there were a few inherent problems that caught up with me during the trip:
1) I tried my best to get up there early, but I had gotten home late from my show on Friday- I was running on about 5 hours of sleep.
2) The rest of the group had been up there since Thursday. Everyone was understandably less energetic and it was hard for me to inject more energy due to problem #1.
3) As my few loyal readers know, I highly prefer Reno because I'm extremely familiar with the area at this point. Tahoe tends to throw me off my game.
These problems aside, I started drinking Jack and Coke pretty much upon arrival at 12:15pm. We had a cabin in Zephyr Cove with a ridiculous view of the beach. It was three stories and included a hot tub primed for homo-erotic action! I think there may have been attempts to get girls to come back to the cabin, but given that a majority of the group was married, it could've easily broken down into a bunch of making up stories for our own amusement. Much like this:
We went down to the beach with some lawn chairs and beers. At some point, a party girl came over trying to bum a beer off of us. We gave her one and she took a seat in one of the chairs (why, yes- help yourself... I'm sure we'd love your company...)
She was a train wreck. She had moved back to Tahoe for the summer after getting laid off in NYC. She claimed she hadn't been sober in three weeks. You could tell she was classy. My friend Phil came back over from hanging out near the water and he was wearing the most ridiculous shirt ever. It had a large picture of a young Mexican boy in a cowboy outfit holding what appeared to be two loaded guns and a fake mustache.
Due to Phil's racial ambiguity (he's half white, half Asian) many people asked if the picture was of him. He would chose his answers at random- sometimes it was, sometimes it wasn't and he'd just make up stories about the shirt. The party girl asked if it was him, he said it was, and introduced himself as Eduardo.
From there we just began making up stories about his family from Mexico City and a fake trip that we all went on 2 or 3 years ago to visit his relatives. The most ridiculous portion of the story was when I mentioned "Eduardo's Uncle Paco" and the "odd beard he grew on his face. He looked like a Mexican wizard!"
Somehow we transitioned to talking about how Uncle Paco's body was relatively hairless besides his beard AND his lower back hair. Phil then kicked it up a notch by saying that he had shaped the lower back hair in the shape of the beard so that it pointed downwards at his ass-crack. The girl probably believed most of it, but that was because she was very drunk and definitely a skank.
Eventually, we went back to the cabin, freshened up, had a great meal that some of the guys cooked. It really felt like a Jersey Shore Sunday dinner.
After dinner, we headed out to the Lakeside Inn & Casino. I had never been to this particular casino, but I figured it would have lower limits on their small array of tables. WRONG! I'm not sure what kind of collusion is going on in Tahoe, but you cannot find a $5 Craps table to save your life there! At least on a Friday or Saturday night.
Anyway, here's my main complaint of the evening. My friends and I had fun taking over one side of the table, and I probably didn't leave because of that fact alone. There was no asshole to make us uncomfortable, so there was no motivation to move it along. However, here are my issues with my gaming experience from Saturday night (besides the fact that the dice crushed me.)
- The Craps table was extra long and the surface was extra bouncy. The dice were flying everywhere and it was borderline dangerous.
- The dealers were quite cocky for working at the Lakeside Inn & Casino. Nice story about how all the dealers who work "down at the Strip" aren't as experienced as the ones at Lakeside. You're trying to tell me that Harrah's has worse dealers? Slow your role, broseph.
- He followed that story up, but tell my friend playing next to me that he could place a bet for the dealers by placing a chip next to his bet. I was already doing that occasionally, so I guess he felt like he needed to inform my friend like a beggar, how to give him tips. He then said, "We make less than minimum wage, we are here for the tips..." Oh, great. So you and all your experienced dealers are looking for big tips while dealing Craps at Lakeside? Once again, you may want to step up your game and go to the place with more money if you all are so awesome.
- Another dealer began talking about how he went to a Sheryl Crow and Kid Rock concert awhile back. He thought that Sheryl Crow was "wonderful! She sounded just like the CD!" To which I thought, "So it is still terrible?" He then said Kid Rock was "a phenomenal performer! If you get a chance to see him, do NOT miss out!" Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
My new rule needs to be: If any dealers start talking about the greatness of Kid Rock, Nickelback, or any other shitty "musician," walk away from the table immediately. Said rule will be enforced strictly. Yes, I'm a superstitious gambler, and that has been added to the list of superstitions.
In the end, we did meander down to the Strip and I was less than pleased with my gambling for the evening. Mixing that with fatigue, it kind of put a damper on the night. However, I will say that it was great to see my friends (most of them from college) so the night was not a loss. At least hanging out with them could make the gambling loss less painful.
Overall, it was a quick and fun trip. While I prefer Reno to Tahoe, it is nice to get a change of scenery ever-so-often. The cabin was definitely legit and allowed for a great view of the fantastic nature of the Tahoe area.
1) I tried my best to get up there early, but I had gotten home late from my show on Friday- I was running on about 5 hours of sleep.
2) The rest of the group had been up there since Thursday. Everyone was understandably less energetic and it was hard for me to inject more energy due to problem #1.
3) As my few loyal readers know, I highly prefer Reno because I'm extremely familiar with the area at this point. Tahoe tends to throw me off my game.
These problems aside, I started drinking Jack and Coke pretty much upon arrival at 12:15pm. We had a cabin in Zephyr Cove with a ridiculous view of the beach. It was three stories and included a hot tub primed for homo-erotic action! I think there may have been attempts to get girls to come back to the cabin, but given that a majority of the group was married, it could've easily broken down into a bunch of making up stories for our own amusement. Much like this:
We went down to the beach with some lawn chairs and beers. At some point, a party girl came over trying to bum a beer off of us. We gave her one and she took a seat in one of the chairs (why, yes- help yourself... I'm sure we'd love your company...)
| Nooooo... it was not her. Close though. |
Due to Phil's racial ambiguity (he's half white, half Asian) many people asked if the picture was of him. He would chose his answers at random- sometimes it was, sometimes it wasn't and he'd just make up stories about the shirt. The party girl asked if it was him, he said it was, and introduced himself as Eduardo.
From there we just began making up stories about his family from Mexico City and a fake trip that we all went on 2 or 3 years ago to visit his relatives. The most ridiculous portion of the story was when I mentioned "Eduardo's Uncle Paco" and the "odd beard he grew on his face. He looked like a Mexican wizard!"
 |
| Maybe like this? |
Eventually, we went back to the cabin, freshened up, had a great meal that some of the guys cooked. It really felt like a Jersey Shore Sunday dinner.
After dinner, we headed out to the Lakeside Inn & Casino. I had never been to this particular casino, but I figured it would have lower limits on their small array of tables. WRONG! I'm not sure what kind of collusion is going on in Tahoe, but you cannot find a $5 Craps table to save your life there! At least on a Friday or Saturday night.
Anyway, here's my main complaint of the evening. My friends and I had fun taking over one side of the table, and I probably didn't leave because of that fact alone. There was no asshole to make us uncomfortable, so there was no motivation to move it along. However, here are my issues with my gaming experience from Saturday night (besides the fact that the dice crushed me.)
- The Craps table was extra long and the surface was extra bouncy. The dice were flying everywhere and it was borderline dangerous.
- The dealers were quite cocky for working at the Lakeside Inn & Casino. Nice story about how all the dealers who work "down at the Strip" aren't as experienced as the ones at Lakeside. You're trying to tell me that Harrah's has worse dealers? Slow your role, broseph.
- He followed that story up, but tell my friend playing next to me that he could place a bet for the dealers by placing a chip next to his bet. I was already doing that occasionally, so I guess he felt like he needed to inform my friend like a beggar, how to give him tips. He then said, "We make less than minimum wage, we are here for the tips..." Oh, great. So you and all your experienced dealers are looking for big tips while dealing Craps at Lakeside? Once again, you may want to step up your game and go to the place with more money if you all are so awesome.
- Another dealer began talking about how he went to a Sheryl Crow and Kid Rock concert awhile back. He thought that Sheryl Crow was "wonderful! She sounded just like the CD!" To which I thought, "So it is still terrible?" He then said Kid Rock was "a phenomenal performer! If you get a chance to see him, do NOT miss out!" Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
 |
| Voted best performer by "White Trash That Resemble Chickens Magazine." |
 |
| You can talk about Stevie Wonder, though. That's cool with me. |
Overall, it was a quick and fun trip. While I prefer Reno to Tahoe, it is nice to get a change of scenery ever-so-often. The cabin was definitely legit and allowed for a great view of the fantastic nature of the Tahoe area.
Friday, August 19, 2011
The Cover Song Debate: Round 1
First, let me say this- people who needlessly back into parking spots and struggle with the process are douchebags. I'm totally ok with someone backing into a spot because it functionally is easier than going forward. However, I recently saw someone back into a spot in the parking garage at work for no reason at all. There were open spots on either side and they had to readjust the line of their car four fucking times. Ask yourself this, was that process worth it later in the day just so you can pull out of a spot without anyone seeing your reverse lights? I wager that in the parking garage, while everyone is leaving for their commute home, putting your car forward is less helpful because people won't see your reverse lights and let you in. Granted, the parking garage is not usually crazy busy at quitting time, but my point still stands. The effort you put in just to get your car in reverse position was much more than just pulling in regular, then backing out regular upon leaving. Final verdict- if you're going to back into a spot, be competent enough to do it efficiently. Otherwise, you look like an ass.
Today, we're going to try something called "The Cover Song Debate." I've heard the old cliche: "The original version is ALWAYS better than the cover version because it is the original." Well, that obviously can't be true because if Country music allowed the original writers of songs to perform rather than the famous performers, they would go out of business. Just because a song makes it to the market place first, does not mean that someone can never do it better. However, it can go both ways. So let's make some decisions on which versions of songs are better. Some of these decisions will be easier than others. Without further ado...
"Radar Love" - Golden Earring (original) vs. White Lion (cover)
This song original came out in the 70's by Golden Earring. The song definitely rocks, but it was covered by 80's hair band White Lion in what potentially is a better version. Both versions have similar tempo and both versions sound true to the decade they were released. It's probably just a matter of personal preference as neither version has a massive flaw that creates a Mike Tyson's Punchout! KO decision.
Verdict: I grew up in the 80's - White Lion's hair band version FTW!
---
"Ballroom Blitz" - The Sweet (original) vs. Tia Carrera (cover)
To be honest, "Radar Love" reminded me of "Ballroom Blitz" this is a similar debate. The original has that 70's sound and definitely rocks. Tia Carrera's version was on the "Wayne's World" soundtrack and she was once the smokin' hot chick that would never date Mike Myers in real life. This one is close to being a push. Rockin' song vs. Tia Carrera's fine ass...
Verdict: I'll go with the original based on the fact that I'm not as into female lead singers. Not trying to be an asshole, just my personal preference. This is by the slimmest of margins.
---
"Smooth Criminal" - Michael Jackson (original) vs. Alien Ant Farm (cover)
Michael Jackson was the King of Pop and also the King of Molesting Kids. Alien Ant Farm were somewhat intelligent to release this alternative rock version of "Smooth Criminal." In the end, the novelty has worn off of the cover version...
Verdict: MJ - It is hard to molest kids better than MJ, but it is also difficult to sing his songs better than him. Props for Alien Ant Farm having almost 14 million views on the YouTube video I posted here, though.
---
"Best Of You" - Foo Fighters (original) vs. Price (cover)
I know G$ has suggested that the Foo Fighters should play the Super Bowl halftime show. I fully support this idea. Back in 2007, Prince covered "Best Of You" during his own Super Bowl halftime show. Apparently, this was meant as a dig against the Foo's for covering his song "Darling Nikki." Way to get back at them Prince! Nothing shows them like playing one of their song during a performance that 1 billion people watch! In the end, I know what version I highly prefer...
Verdict: Foo Fighters by a landslide!
---
We may try this again. Disagree with any of the verdicts? Have any suggestions of future debates? Leave them in the comments and have a great weekend.
Today, we're going to try something called "The Cover Song Debate." I've heard the old cliche: "The original version is ALWAYS better than the cover version because it is the original." Well, that obviously can't be true because if Country music allowed the original writers of songs to perform rather than the famous performers, they would go out of business. Just because a song makes it to the market place first, does not mean that someone can never do it better. However, it can go both ways. So let's make some decisions on which versions of songs are better. Some of these decisions will be easier than others. Without further ado...
"Radar Love" - Golden Earring (original) vs. White Lion (cover)
This song original came out in the 70's by Golden Earring. The song definitely rocks, but it was covered by 80's hair band White Lion in what potentially is a better version. Both versions have similar tempo and both versions sound true to the decade they were released. It's probably just a matter of personal preference as neither version has a massive flaw that creates a Mike Tyson's Punchout! KO decision.
Verdict: I grew up in the 80's - White Lion's hair band version FTW!
---
"Ballroom Blitz" - The Sweet (original) vs. Tia Carrera (cover)
To be honest, "Radar Love" reminded me of "Ballroom Blitz" this is a similar debate. The original has that 70's sound and definitely rocks. Tia Carrera's version was on the "Wayne's World" soundtrack and she was once the smokin' hot chick that would never date Mike Myers in real life. This one is close to being a push. Rockin' song vs. Tia Carrera's fine ass...
Verdict: I'll go with the original based on the fact that I'm not as into female lead singers. Not trying to be an asshole, just my personal preference. This is by the slimmest of margins.
---
"Smooth Criminal" - Michael Jackson (original) vs. Alien Ant Farm (cover)
Michael Jackson was the King of Pop and also the King of Molesting Kids. Alien Ant Farm were somewhat intelligent to release this alternative rock version of "Smooth Criminal." In the end, the novelty has worn off of the cover version...
Verdict: MJ - It is hard to molest kids better than MJ, but it is also difficult to sing his songs better than him. Props for Alien Ant Farm having almost 14 million views on the YouTube video I posted here, though.
---
"Best Of You" - Foo Fighters (original) vs. Price (cover)
I know G$ has suggested that the Foo Fighters should play the Super Bowl halftime show. I fully support this idea. Back in 2007, Prince covered "Best Of You" during his own Super Bowl halftime show. Apparently, this was meant as a dig against the Foo's for covering his song "Darling Nikki." Way to get back at them Prince! Nothing shows them like playing one of their song during a performance that 1 billion people watch! In the end, I know what version I highly prefer...
Verdict: Foo Fighters by a landslide!
---
We may try this again. Disagree with any of the verdicts? Have any suggestions of future debates? Leave them in the comments and have a great weekend.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Daniel Tosh - 8/17/11
 |
- Rape
- Abortion
- Why LeBron James isn't as big of an asshole as everyone thinks he his
- "Fuck the Kings- I hope they move to Vegas"- Hilarious!
- People who cannot get pregnant should listen to the universe and not spend thousands of dollars having a science-induced pregnancy
- He spoke a bit about the show and how he is aware that it is ridiculous that he is famous and successful
- He told a guy in the crowd who was yelling like a d-bag, to jump off the balcony. Then Tosh wondered aloud if he'd be liable if the guy actually jumped.
- How he is disappointed when people say the world will end and then it doesn't
- Why it should be ok to fight a woman if she's in your own weight class
And many more topics, of course. I don't need to recount joke for joke what Daniel said because a) I don't remember all the jokes and b) they won't be as funny written by me in electronic font.
What I will say is that it is nice to watch someone stand in front of thousands of people, fully entertain the crowd, and say some of the most fucked up shit that many people just think, but would never say. It must be a very liberating experience to come to terms with how awful the world is, then explain this to people in a sarcastic way, and have them lap it up by laughing and paying a $40-$50 entrance fee just to hear it. Amazing stuff.
The last thing I'll touch on is Tosh mentioning this little nugget:
"Here's a great way to gauge if we could ever hang out. If you have ever said, 'There is nothing funny about [blank]' then there is no chance we could ever be friends."
Interesting, right? I'm going to go ahead and agree with him. There is humor in EVERYTHING. I'm not saying to make abortion jokes while you take a one-night-stand to the clinic to get her vacuumed out, but there is humor embedded in every tragedy. Comedy is how we can cope with all the fucked up things in this world. Whether it is my brother getting a DUI, family issues, or just the Miami University Football program (HILARIOUS!!!) there are laughs to be had in any situation. If we can't laugh at ourselves, especially, then what hope do we have to overcome any issues that this fucked up world can toss at us?
In the end, I had a lot of fun seeing Daniel Tosh on stage and I hope he continues on with tour and his TV show. Titties!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
90s Rock: Silverchair
Silverchair was a kick-ass 90s band that I loved when I was growing up. I not only enjoyed their music, but I very much enjoyed the concept of a few 16 year-olds making it big in the music industry. Daniel Johns is a great songwriter that tends to investigate pop/rock songs in a very dirty/heavy way. Let's look at some of their sweet jams.
"Israel's Son" - The opening track of "Frogstomp" is a great way to get the blood flowing. A slow, plodding bass line builds to explosion once the verse pops in. I could almost see a WWE Wrestler coming out to this song.
"Tomorrow" - It would be difficult to do a Silverchair post without including their biggest hit. This song makes virtually no sense lyrically, but it is catchy as all hell and is just as much fun to listen to now as it was back in the 90s.
"Shade" - Depending on who you talk to, "Shade" could be highly under OR over rated. It was never a huge hit, but this song seems to have a cult following of sorts. The D minor hammer-on chord to start the song is fucking money. Does anyone care to explain how a teenager has such a deep sing voice?
"Slave" - Opening the album "Freak Show" in similar fashion to "Israel's Son," "Slave" puts a nice metal twist on Silverchair's signature grungy sound. These teenagers were angry!!! The chorus reminds me of something Filter would have done.
"Freak" - More dark lyrics from a brooding teenagers, but this song is oddly catchy. Regardless of immaturity at the time, the talent does show right through. They must have had a lot of fun touring with these songs.
"Roses" - This is probably as close as Silverchair comes to imitating Nirvana (more "In Utero" style.) The verse riff is dirty and the chorus is catchy with a rock/metal flavor. Very underrated tune.
"Ana's Song" - This was another decent size hit back in the late 90s. I believe it references Johns' fight with anorexia, but who knows? What I do know, is that this song is awesome!
"Emotion Sickness" - So after listening to all that dirty rock, watch them bring the string section along for this excellent song. "Neon Ballroom" is definitely where the band begins to mature as musicians and people. Not to say I don't enjoy their early work more, but you can see them reach another level of musicianship on this record.
So there you go- Silverchair is the band of the day here. Have any favorite songs that I missed? Let me know in the comments.
"Israel's Son" - The opening track of "Frogstomp" is a great way to get the blood flowing. A slow, plodding bass line builds to explosion once the verse pops in. I could almost see a WWE Wrestler coming out to this song.
"Tomorrow" - It would be difficult to do a Silverchair post without including their biggest hit. This song makes virtually no sense lyrically, but it is catchy as all hell and is just as much fun to listen to now as it was back in the 90s.
"Shade" - Depending on who you talk to, "Shade" could be highly under OR over rated. It was never a huge hit, but this song seems to have a cult following of sorts. The D minor hammer-on chord to start the song is fucking money. Does anyone care to explain how a teenager has such a deep sing voice?
"Slave" - Opening the album "Freak Show" in similar fashion to "Israel's Son," "Slave" puts a nice metal twist on Silverchair's signature grungy sound. These teenagers were angry!!! The chorus reminds me of something Filter would have done.
"Freak" - More dark lyrics from a brooding teenagers, but this song is oddly catchy. Regardless of immaturity at the time, the talent does show right through. They must have had a lot of fun touring with these songs.
"Roses" - This is probably as close as Silverchair comes to imitating Nirvana (more "In Utero" style.) The verse riff is dirty and the chorus is catchy with a rock/metal flavor. Very underrated tune.
"Ana's Song" - This was another decent size hit back in the late 90s. I believe it references Johns' fight with anorexia, but who knows? What I do know, is that this song is awesome!
"Emotion Sickness" - So after listening to all that dirty rock, watch them bring the string section along for this excellent song. "Neon Ballroom" is definitely where the band begins to mature as musicians and people. Not to say I don't enjoy their early work more, but you can see them reach another level of musicianship on this record.
So there you go- Silverchair is the band of the day here. Have any favorite songs that I missed? Let me know in the comments.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
People I Hate: The Gym Know-It-All
Every damn day I run into people who lower the average social value in society. Whether they are drivers participating in the morning commute or homeless people lying about how they are definitely not going spend your loose change on booze (I only give money directly to charities, I refuse to enable bums to continue being pieces of shit.)
Today, let's talk about a type of person near and dear to my heart: the gym know-it-all. You know and hate this person. You are working out and minding your own business, and they come up to you to give you unsolicited advice about how to perform a workout better. You look at them, space out, hear nothing of what they are saying, nod a few times, and then say, "Uh, thanks..." Hopefully they go away with asking for validation that you appreciated their advice.
Obviously, this person can exist outside of the gym in many situations, but let's focus on the gym person for the moment. The other day, I was in a weight training class that I've been going to regularly. On that particular day, I decided to add weight to my squat set. I had also done a full session the day before, so I was really pushing myself to get stronger. Near the end of the set, my muscles were failing and my form got a little sloppy. Not terrible, but I new that due to the extra weight, I had burnt my legs out.
Right after the set, a girl who clearly thinks she's the shit, came up to me and told me some "corrections" I could make to not "hurt my knees." OH REALLY?! So I did exactly as I described above- I zoned out, nodded, and said, "OK..." I think she thought I was blowing her off. If she did think that, then she was correct.
For the rest of class, I spied her from across the room to see how "correct" her form was for the other exercises. Shockingly, she was NOT a model of great form throughout the workout. She definitely thinks she is great, but between quitting in the middle of workouts, not staying in rhythm with the rest of class, and simply being uneven because she was putting on too much weight, I found many problems with her form. And guess what I told her after class?
Fucking NOTHING.
That's right folks- it's not my business. I don't know everyone's background with lifting, but what I do know is that we are all grown-ups. There is no need for my to tell a grown-ass adult how shitty their form is. If they really care, they can hire a personal trainer to give them advice and help them succeed.
In fact, I mildly think she was just coming up to start a conversation because there are people with HORRIBLE form in our class that she does not give advice to. If her goal was to start a conversation with the best looking guy in class, then she has failed once again. Even if I was single, there is no chance I'm going to flirt with a girl who is trying to show me up in the gym. I can only guess where a relationship with such a person would go. I'd rather take a trip to a Jigsaw trap than go on one date with this cocky bitch.
Regardless of motivation, there is a great reason to not give out unsolicited advice at the gym- there is no possibility of a positive response. There is a 95% chance that the person will not take your advice. The 5% chance that they do in fact listen and use your advice leads to them also hating your guts. That's correct, there is a 100% chance that the person you are trying to help will end up hating you like the Palestinians hate the Jews. You cannot win.
I haven't even gotten into the fact that there is no reason to trust a random person at the gym. What known qualifications does a random person that I've never met have to give me advice? None. Now, pull out a personal training certificate out of your back pocket and I'll give you a shred of credibility. Not too much though, because what self-respecting person carries around their PT certificate? NO ONE. Do you see how hopeless this case is to win?
I was once told by an Economics professor to never give out unsolicited financial advice. If the person takes your advice, they will not give you much credit when said advice succeeds. If the advice fails though, you bet your ass they will blame you for every penny they lost. The same rules apply at the gym.
In conclusion, I would like to invite that stupid bitch, and all other advice-giving-assholes to mind their own business at the gym. Thank you very much.
 |
| "That dollar you just gave me will set me on the right path... toward a Steel Reserve!" |
 |
| Sorry- no appreciation here. |
Obviously, this person can exist outside of the gym in many situations, but let's focus on the gym person for the moment. The other day, I was in a weight training class that I've been going to regularly. On that particular day, I decided to add weight to my squat set. I had also done a full session the day before, so I was really pushing myself to get stronger. Near the end of the set, my muscles were failing and my form got a little sloppy. Not terrible, but I new that due to the extra weight, I had burnt my legs out.
Right after the set, a girl who clearly thinks she's the shit, came up to me and told me some "corrections" I could make to not "hurt my knees." OH REALLY?! So I did exactly as I described above- I zoned out, nodded, and said, "OK..." I think she thought I was blowing her off. If she did think that, then she was correct.
 |
| Don't tell me what I can't do!!! |
Fucking NOTHING.
That's right folks- it's not my business. I don't know everyone's background with lifting, but what I do know is that we are all grown-ups. There is no need for my to tell a grown-ass adult how shitty their form is. If they really care, they can hire a personal trainer to give them advice and help them succeed.
In fact, I mildly think she was just coming up to start a conversation because there are people with HORRIBLE form in our class that she does not give advice to. If her goal was to start a conversation with the best looking guy in class, then she has failed once again. Even if I was single, there is no chance I'm going to flirt with a girl who is trying to show me up in the gym. I can only guess where a relationship with such a person would go. I'd rather take a trip to a Jigsaw trap than go on one date with this cocky bitch.
 |
| It's a "no brainer"- get it?! |
I haven't even gotten into the fact that there is no reason to trust a random person at the gym. What known qualifications does a random person that I've never met have to give me advice? None. Now, pull out a personal training certificate out of your back pocket and I'll give you a shred of credibility. Not too much though, because what self-respecting person carries around their PT certificate? NO ONE. Do you see how hopeless this case is to win?
I was once told by an Economics professor to never give out unsolicited financial advice. If the person takes your advice, they will not give you much credit when said advice succeeds. If the advice fails though, you bet your ass they will blame you for every penny they lost. The same rules apply at the gym.
In conclusion, I would like to invite that stupid bitch, and all other advice-giving-assholes to mind their own business at the gym. Thank you very much.
Monday, August 15, 2011
The Curious Case Of Carlos Zambrano
More words have been wasted on Cubs' player Carlos Zambrano than any other baseball player this past decade. Media members have debated Zambrano's effectiveness, mental stability, and whether or not he can be a decent teammate in the Majors.
Friday, Big Z was ejected from the game against the Braves after throwing at Chipper Jones. He angrily left the game, cleaned out his locker, and told a clubhouse attendant that he's "retiring." Since then, Zambrano has recanted his claim of retirement, but the Cubs are fed up. They suspended him for 30 days without pay by placing him on the disqualified list.
I mentioned last week that I'm done with baseball this season. I pretty much still am, but I find the Zambrano situation interesting enough to write about. Here's a guy who was a #4 starter for the 2003 Cubs playoff team, then grew into a legit #1 starter. In 2007 and 2008 the Cubs made it to the playoffs, but were swept in both series 0-3 to retain their title as the "Loveable Losers." Since that point, the Cubs have underachieved with the 3rd highest payroll in baseball, and Zambrano is a HUGE reason why (fat pun intended.)
As a Cubs fan, I'm obviously sick of Zambrano's shit. His tantrums are tired and his performance does not warrant $18 - $19 million per year. In many ways, Z is the face of the franchise and that is sad and embarrassing. In comparison to another controversial Chicago sports figure, I much prefer Jay Cutler to Zambrano. In no way am I joking. Cutler is practically Derek Jeter compared to Zambrano (and don't lose your mind- I'm not comparing Cutler to Jeter, I'm merely stating how much of a shitty douche bag Zambrano is.)
Zambrano retiring is one easy way to solve this problem. It would save the Cubs a solid $6 million or so this year, $18 million next year, and potentially (with a vesting option) $19 million in 2013. Well, it sounds like Z doesn't want to give tens of millions of dollars like he said he was going to, so what the hell are the other options? No, seriously- what are the OTHER OPTIONS?! I have no idea.
What I've heard, is that the Cubs will likely either eat the contract and release him, or attempt to trade him in a similar fashion that they did Milton Bradley two years ago. The Bradley trade netted them bad apple Carlos Silva, so I can't imagine what other team would entertain a worthwhile trade for a cancer that will likely fight with teammates in the dugout and tear any team to pieces. That would be like getting offered sex by a 7 out of 10 fully knowing they are HIV positive and saying, "Eh- let's roll the dice. We'll see how this plays out." Anyone who trades or signs Big Z is crazy and has to know it won't end well.
As much as Giants fans hate Barry Zito, and they HATE Zito, I don't think even they would want to trade Zito for Big Z straight up. I just don't see a situation that would work for #38 besides him getting released and deported.
So where do we go from here? I could make my list of Zambrano's finest fights and/or tantrums, but that would take more research and effort than I have to give this has-been dickhead. I could wax ecstatic about how much I wish Kerry Wood was still a starter or how much I was Mark Prior was healthy and on the Cubs, but that is also a waste of electronic ink.
Instead, I'll end by saying the Cubs need to completely overhaul their organization. They need a "Hoarders'" psychologist to go over and tell them that they need to clean out the mold and trash that has been gathering for years and years. Clean the house. No more band aids of new and fashionable hitting coaches. No more overpaying Ryan Dempster, Aramis Ramirez, Alfonso Soriano, Carlos Pena, etc, etc, etc. No more allowing Jim Hendry to keep his job when he's done absolutely nothing to deserve to stay in his position. Let's stop this train wreck and start the rebuilding process. The status quo of the Chicago Cubs is sickening.
Friday, Big Z was ejected from the game against the Braves after throwing at Chipper Jones. He angrily left the game, cleaned out his locker, and told a clubhouse attendant that he's "retiring." Since then, Zambrano has recanted his claim of retirement, but the Cubs are fed up. They suspended him for 30 days without pay by placing him on the disqualified list.
I mentioned last week that I'm done with baseball this season. I pretty much still am, but I find the Zambrano situation interesting enough to write about. Here's a guy who was a #4 starter for the 2003 Cubs playoff team, then grew into a legit #1 starter. In 2007 and 2008 the Cubs made it to the playoffs, but were swept in both series 0-3 to retain their title as the "Loveable Losers." Since that point, the Cubs have underachieved with the 3rd highest payroll in baseball, and Zambrano is a HUGE reason why (fat pun intended.)
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| "All of these problems are because of you!!!" |
Zambrano retiring is one easy way to solve this problem. It would save the Cubs a solid $6 million or so this year, $18 million next year, and potentially (with a vesting option) $19 million in 2013. Well, it sounds like Z doesn't want to give tens of millions of dollars like he said he was going to, so what the hell are the other options? No, seriously- what are the OTHER OPTIONS?! I have no idea.
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| The Cubs could hire someone with a very "specific set of skills" to take care of things. |
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| "I know about rolling the dice on skanks." |
So where do we go from here? I could make my list of Zambrano's finest fights and/or tantrums, but that would take more research and effort than I have to give this has-been dickhead. I could wax ecstatic about how much I wish Kerry Wood was still a starter or how much I was Mark Prior was healthy and on the Cubs, but that is also a waste of electronic ink.
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| This image brings a tear to my eye. |
Friday, August 12, 2011
Yesterday... All My Troubles Seemed So- Uh- Close?
I am aware that this is a sarcastic comedy blog (well, I'm unsure how much comedy there actually is, but you get the point)- however, when shit gets real- it's hard to be funny. Here is my attempt at unleashing some bullshit from yesterday and I may end up saying something stupid or offensive- who knows?
Work has been extra shitty. With budget problems within my place of employment, everyone is unable to get necessary information to me when I need it. However, when information is expected of me, it is needed immediately. I'm letting this play out for now as I've just signed up for classes starting in September and hope to make a career change in the near future. It is no secret I've applied for other jobs in the last year. I'm glad I haven't gotten these jobs, but it is only a matter of time before moving on. Being in the middle of a life transition sucks on a daily basis, but I am excited to move forward.
So blah, blah, blah- my job was pissing me off yesterday. Who's job doesn't piss them off most of the time? The lucky ones, I suppose. In the middle of this, my dad sends me a Facebook message telling me how I should take my birthday off Facebook because a government official told him that people can steal your identity with your name and birthday.
Look, my dad and I barely talk. I haven't seen him since October 2009. I've emailed him to tell him exactly what my issues are and how to begin to resolve them. Yet, instead I get dumb messages about how my extremely secure Facebook profile could get hacked because I listed my birthday with no year associated. If someone goes to a bank and says, "I have this guy's name (not even my birth name is on the profile, mind you) and his birthday... wait- what year? Ummmm... I'm unsure." I have a hard time believing that they will steal my identity.
Regardless of the merits of my Facebook argument, my real point is, that for an estranged father to be sending me such stupid drivel via Facebook profile is ridiculous. If I were him, I'd be less concerned about whether or not my birthday is listed anywhere, and more concerned about reconnecting with my son. Or I suppose, he could be more concerned with...
...my younger brothers have now both gotten DUI's! Alright! They are twins near the legal drinking age- but not quite there. One of them got a lesser DUI infraction and has classes to attend. The other one, just yesterday, drove blacked out drunk on to a neighborhood lawn. Apparently, the car was on fire and he was taken unconscious to a hospital.
I'm guessing he's going to get destroyed in the court of law with fines and probation classes- and he should be. I'm obviously glad he's not dead. That is the silver lining. The biggest problem is that after years and years of attempting to give solid advice to my younger brothers, I am certain that it falls on deaf ears. How long can one bang their head against a wall before stopping and walking away? I can give general support, but the more I care about a situation I'm obviously not affecting, the more frustrating it gets. I'm not giving up on my brothers, but at the same time, they need to be responsible for themselves. I can do nothing to change them at this point. The change needs to come from within themselves.
AND speaking of Facebook, my brother that could have died yesterday, decided to post a message about the scenario on the ol' FB. There was remorse in the note, but I have a feeling it was more about getting attention. This is exactly what needs to change. He's unhappy with himself, but can't help trying to get sympathy via social media. Until he's happy with himself and doesn't need to post personal situations on FB- I have a bad feeling things will not get better. (Hilariously ironic that I'm writing a blog about this while chastising my brother for writing on Facebook- clearly I'm attempting to be anonymous and less people read this than Facebook. Ultimately, I'm only putting this on blast because my brain is consumed with this situation and it is my excuse for not writing anything amusing today.)
And there you have it. That was my day. Crappy days at work I can handle. Those happen from time to time and there is nothing anyone can do about it. The family stuff puts me over the edge. I am aware that anyone reading this without the years and years of background may think I'm coming off like a heartless shithead who doesn't care about his family members. However, I have given excellent efforts in the past that have produced absolutely nothing to improve the situation. I have run out of ways I can make a difference. Maybe I'll come up with a brilliant plan that rights the wrongs inside my family someday. However, today I suppose I'll have to be content with the fact that my brother is alive and I'll continue to hope that he is able to make necessary changes to help him be a better person.
---
"And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." -- The motherfuckin' Beatles
Work has been extra shitty. With budget problems within my place of employment, everyone is unable to get necessary information to me when I need it. However, when information is expected of me, it is needed immediately. I'm letting this play out for now as I've just signed up for classes starting in September and hope to make a career change in the near future. It is no secret I've applied for other jobs in the last year. I'm glad I haven't gotten these jobs, but it is only a matter of time before moving on. Being in the middle of a life transition sucks on a daily basis, but I am excited to move forward.
So blah, blah, blah- my job was pissing me off yesterday. Who's job doesn't piss them off most of the time? The lucky ones, I suppose. In the middle of this, my dad sends me a Facebook message telling me how I should take my birthday off Facebook because a government official told him that people can steal your identity with your name and birthday.
Look, my dad and I barely talk. I haven't seen him since October 2009. I've emailed him to tell him exactly what my issues are and how to begin to resolve them. Yet, instead I get dumb messages about how my extremely secure Facebook profile could get hacked because I listed my birthday with no year associated. If someone goes to a bank and says, "I have this guy's name (not even my birth name is on the profile, mind you) and his birthday... wait- what year? Ummmm... I'm unsure." I have a hard time believing that they will steal my identity.
Regardless of the merits of my Facebook argument, my real point is, that for an estranged father to be sending me such stupid drivel via Facebook profile is ridiculous. If I were him, I'd be less concerned about whether or not my birthday is listed anywhere, and more concerned about reconnecting with my son. Or I suppose, he could be more concerned with...
...my younger brothers have now both gotten DUI's! Alright! They are twins near the legal drinking age- but not quite there. One of them got a lesser DUI infraction and has classes to attend. The other one, just yesterday, drove blacked out drunk on to a neighborhood lawn. Apparently, the car was on fire and he was taken unconscious to a hospital.
I'm guessing he's going to get destroyed in the court of law with fines and probation classes- and he should be. I'm obviously glad he's not dead. That is the silver lining. The biggest problem is that after years and years of attempting to give solid advice to my younger brothers, I am certain that it falls on deaf ears. How long can one bang their head against a wall before stopping and walking away? I can give general support, but the more I care about a situation I'm obviously not affecting, the more frustrating it gets. I'm not giving up on my brothers, but at the same time, they need to be responsible for themselves. I can do nothing to change them at this point. The change needs to come from within themselves.
AND speaking of Facebook, my brother that could have died yesterday, decided to post a message about the scenario on the ol' FB. There was remorse in the note, but I have a feeling it was more about getting attention. This is exactly what needs to change. He's unhappy with himself, but can't help trying to get sympathy via social media. Until he's happy with himself and doesn't need to post personal situations on FB- I have a bad feeling things will not get better. (Hilariously ironic that I'm writing a blog about this while chastising my brother for writing on Facebook- clearly I'm attempting to be anonymous and less people read this than Facebook. Ultimately, I'm only putting this on blast because my brain is consumed with this situation and it is my excuse for not writing anything amusing today.)
And there you have it. That was my day. Crappy days at work I can handle. Those happen from time to time and there is nothing anyone can do about it. The family stuff puts me over the edge. I am aware that anyone reading this without the years and years of background may think I'm coming off like a heartless shithead who doesn't care about his family members. However, I have given excellent efforts in the past that have produced absolutely nothing to improve the situation. I have run out of ways I can make a difference. Maybe I'll come up with a brilliant plan that rights the wrongs inside my family someday. However, today I suppose I'll have to be content with the fact that my brother is alive and I'll continue to hope that he is able to make necessary changes to help him be a better person.
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"And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." -- The motherfuckin' Beatles
Thursday, August 11, 2011
It's Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack...
Oh, NFL... how I've missed you. While September does bring back the school year and add quite a bit of work to my 8-5 life, Sundays are the sanctuary that get me through the chilling Northern California winter (high 40s/low 50s- BRRRRRRRRRR!)
It is odd that I played basketball, have always loved baseball, but may enjoy watching NFL football the most out of all the sports. What can I say? The league knows what it is doing and runs quite the savvy business. Hell, even when the Bears are out of it, I'm VERY interested. Can I say the same for baseball when the Cubs are out of the race? Given this year as a great example, I cannot say my interest is very strong. If baseball had a lockout today, I probably wouldn't miss it until February- after the Super Bowl.
What are some issues I'm most looking forward to seeing this NFL season? Well, I'll tell you:
- Tim Tebow's situation - Kyle Orton will always hold a special place in my heart for going 9-3 for the Bears in 2001 and then letting Sexy Rexy take over and lose in the playoffs. And while I think it is obvious that Orton is the better QB on the Broncos' roster, Tim Tebow logically should start for the Denver Elways. Find out what kind of a QB they have in Tebow. Upping Tebow's playing time will help draw attendance. And in the end, what is the difference between 2-14 with Tebow and 5-11 with Orton? Maybe the #1 draft pick?
- Which team will be bad enough to draft Andrew Luck? - I don't remember hype like this for a #1 draft pick since Reggie Bush (who was drafted second!!!) I know people who cheer for the Niners, Redskins, and Broncos who have all mentioned they want that #1 pick. Tank a season for a virtual guarantee of 10 years of quality at the QB position? Sure, why not? I'm sure there are other teams, even ones that just drafted a QB that will take Luck with no hesitation if they fall to the worst record in the league. The Lions, Vikings, Titans, Jags, and Bengals all stand a chance to grab that #1 pick and press their Luck.
- Jay Cutler's reaction to criticism - No player has ever been called out in such a public fashion as Cutler was for not playing most of the 2nd Half of the NFC Championship game. The social media age has made it all too easy for players to talk shit about one another and give media cycles an unlimited buffet of fodder. Jay has worked hard in the offseason to get in great shape and work on his footwork. Hell, maybe he even matured a little through the NFC Championship debacle (doubtful.) Year 3 with the Bears will be interesting, that is certain.
- Jim Harbaugh coaches in SF - The guy was a former NFL QB. Then coached at San Diego University and led them to an undefeated season. He earned the job at Stanford and took them to an Orange Bowl victory. What can this guy do in the NFL? I think we are all curious, especially with the Niners owning a roster that does not look strong on paper. I think Harbaugh's influence could gain them an extra 3 wins from what this roster could do otherwise. Prediction- 5-11 and just missing the Andrew Luck sweepstakes.
- Sexy Rexy - Almost every bullet point has to do with Ex-Bear or current Bear QBs! It is hilarious how bias I am! Rex Grossman declared that the Redskins will "win the NFC East." When you are done laughing (again), come back and join me...
... I'll wait...
Are you back? Ok. I love the enthusiasm by the Sex Cannon, but let's keep it real. The 'Skins don't have a great shot at winning the division this year. The Eagles are loaded, the Giants are solid, and the Cowboys are nuisances. If they pull to 6-10, they should have a post-season party where everyone gets pizza and trophies. Asking Grossman how the season is going to shake out is a dumb question- what is he going to say? That the 'Skins are sinking like the Titanic and everyone is going down with the ship? Of course not. He has no right answer, so he aimed high and it was hilarious.
So apparently I'm interested in Bears QBs, and that is it. Truth be told, there are plenty of other interesting story lines. I'm sure if one wanted to look for them, they could be found in tonight's Charges vs. Seahawks match-up. I'll leave that for Jaws or Gruden to screw up. Right now, I'm just happy football is back.
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| Just a normal December day in CA. |
What are some issues I'm most looking forward to seeing this NFL season? Well, I'll tell you:
- Tim Tebow's situation - Kyle Orton will always hold a special place in my heart for going 9-3 for the Bears in 2001 and then letting Sexy Rexy take over and lose in the playoffs. And while I think it is obvious that Orton is the better QB on the Broncos' roster, Tim Tebow logically should start for the Denver Elways. Find out what kind of a QB they have in Tebow. Upping Tebow's playing time will help draw attendance. And in the end, what is the difference between 2-14 with Tebow and 5-11 with Orton? Maybe the #1 draft pick?
- Which team will be bad enough to draft Andrew Luck? - I don't remember hype like this for a #1 draft pick since Reggie Bush (who was drafted second!!!) I know people who cheer for the Niners, Redskins, and Broncos who have all mentioned they want that #1 pick. Tank a season for a virtual guarantee of 10 years of quality at the QB position? Sure, why not? I'm sure there are other teams, even ones that just drafted a QB that will take Luck with no hesitation if they fall to the worst record in the league. The Lions, Vikings, Titans, Jags, and Bengals all stand a chance to grab that #1 pick and press their Luck.
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| "No whammy, no whammy... STOP! Ah shit! The Bengals!" |
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| Work hard. Play hard. |
- Sexy Rexy - Almost every bullet point has to do with Ex-Bear or current Bear QBs! It is hilarious how bias I am! Rex Grossman declared that the Redskins will "win the NFC East." When you are done laughing (again), come back and join me...
... I'll wait...
Are you back? Ok. I love the enthusiasm by the Sex Cannon, but let's keep it real. The 'Skins don't have a great shot at winning the division this year. The Eagles are loaded, the Giants are solid, and the Cowboys are nuisances. If they pull to 6-10, they should have a post-season party where everyone gets pizza and trophies. Asking Grossman how the season is going to shake out is a dumb question- what is he going to say? That the 'Skins are sinking like the Titanic and everyone is going down with the ship? Of course not. He has no right answer, so he aimed high and it was hilarious.
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| Don't worry D.C.- you're in good hands! |
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
90s Rock: Nirvana
Here is a post from my old blog. Nirvana is one of the corner stones of 90s rock, so they deserve a mention over here. Leave your favorite songs in the comments, if you so desire.
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On April 5, 1994, Kurt Cobain took his own life and robbed the world of any further musical genius that he had to offer. (Obviously, it's more important that he wasn't there to raise his daughter, but since I didn't know him personally, this is about the music.) I can't believe he's been dead for 17 years. Considering how repetitively I listened to Nirvana albums during my formative years, it still feels like Cobain's legacy lives on through his smaller-than-it-should-be song collection. Let's look at some of my favorite songs (this may or may not include their biggest hits):
"Blew" - The first track off their "Bleach" album. This song rocks in a dirty punky way, but also shows the obvious potential for catchy songs they were about to put out a few years later on "Nevermind."
"Aneurysm" - I'm going to talk about "Incesticide" first because a lot of these tracks were recorded before "Nevermind" even though the physical album was released afterward. This song has multiple phases and is very well written. The "She keeps it pumping straight to my heart" portion of the song is a fine climax to cap off a great tune.
"Drain You" - I'm totally stoked that I found the video I wanted for this song. It's from MTV Live in 1992. Kurt has pink hair and they rock this song. It has pop sensibility with a grungy build up in the final third of the song. This might be one of the most underrated tracks they ever released as it was never a huge hit, but really is one of their best.
"Lithium" - Ok, besides the fact that this song is unbelievably awesome, here is another video that I'm excited to find. Dana Carvey intros the band at the 1992 MTV Music Video Awards. Kurt plays a few bars of "Rape Me" to give MTV execs a heart-attack, then goes on to play a killer version of "Lithium." Of course, the cherry on top is when bassist Krist Noveselic throws his bass in the air and hits himself in the face. IN THE FACE!
"Radio Friendly Unit Shifter" - This song is also highly underrated. For anyone who complains about "In Utero," just chill. The album is full of great songs. Sure, it's less pop-y than "Nevermind" but it's a great album none-the-less. If you want to rock, then look no further than this song.
"Heart Shaped Box" - I'm trying to balance some singles in to this post along with some of the lesser known tracks. This song is obviously one of their big singles. It's still awesome, and holds up well in 2011.
"On A Plain" (Unplugged) - The whole "Unplugged In New York" album is just amazing. Seeing a band that naturally loves to rock with punk/grunge riffs as the backbone of their music then go completely acoustic is interesting. Seeing them make that transition into something wholly beautiful is a whole other ball game. It's hard to pick specific tracks, but I do love this song.
"Where Did You Sleep Last Night" - A Leadbelly cover tune (from 1944 no less) that seems appropriate to be the closer to this post. Nirvana transformed music for the better. It's unfortunate that Kurt Cobain is gone, but their music will live on for generations to come.
---
On April 5, 1994, Kurt Cobain took his own life and robbed the world of any further musical genius that he had to offer. (Obviously, it's more important that he wasn't there to raise his daughter, but since I didn't know him personally, this is about the music.) I can't believe he's been dead for 17 years. Considering how repetitively I listened to Nirvana albums during my formative years, it still feels like Cobain's legacy lives on through his smaller-than-it-should-be song collection. Let's look at some of my favorite songs (this may or may not include their biggest hits):
"Blew" - The first track off their "Bleach" album. This song rocks in a dirty punky way, but also shows the obvious potential for catchy songs they were about to put out a few years later on "Nevermind."
"Aneurysm" - I'm going to talk about "Incesticide" first because a lot of these tracks were recorded before "Nevermind" even though the physical album was released afterward. This song has multiple phases and is very well written. The "She keeps it pumping straight to my heart" portion of the song is a fine climax to cap off a great tune.
"Drain You" - I'm totally stoked that I found the video I wanted for this song. It's from MTV Live in 1992. Kurt has pink hair and they rock this song. It has pop sensibility with a grungy build up in the final third of the song. This might be one of the most underrated tracks they ever released as it was never a huge hit, but really is one of their best.
"Lithium" - Ok, besides the fact that this song is unbelievably awesome, here is another video that I'm excited to find. Dana Carvey intros the band at the 1992 MTV Music Video Awards. Kurt plays a few bars of "Rape Me" to give MTV execs a heart-attack, then goes on to play a killer version of "Lithium." Of course, the cherry on top is when bassist Krist Noveselic throws his bass in the air and hits himself in the face. IN THE FACE!
"Radio Friendly Unit Shifter" - This song is also highly underrated. For anyone who complains about "In Utero," just chill. The album is full of great songs. Sure, it's less pop-y than "Nevermind" but it's a great album none-the-less. If you want to rock, then look no further than this song.
"Heart Shaped Box" - I'm trying to balance some singles in to this post along with some of the lesser known tracks. This song is obviously one of their big singles. It's still awesome, and holds up well in 2011.
"On A Plain" (Unplugged) - The whole "Unplugged In New York" album is just amazing. Seeing a band that naturally loves to rock with punk/grunge riffs as the backbone of their music then go completely acoustic is interesting. Seeing them make that transition into something wholly beautiful is a whole other ball game. It's hard to pick specific tracks, but I do love this song.
"Where Did You Sleep Last Night" - A Leadbelly cover tune (from 1944 no less) that seems appropriate to be the closer to this post. Nirvana transformed music for the better. It's unfortunate that Kurt Cobain is gone, but their music will live on for generations to come.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Misplaced NFL Players
Doesn't it feel like there are certain NFL players who don't really fit with the team they are on? If you could rearrange rosters, are there any players you feel would be better fits on other teams? I'm sure there are. Short of putting all the best players on your favorite team, which players would be better matched on other rosters? I came up with a few jackholes that would be able to be themselves on other teams:
5. Albert Haynesworth - Wait a tick! You mean this guy was not a good/great fit on the Redskins?! He has a bad attitude, he's over paid, and he spikes Cowboys in the face with his cleat?!?
This makes no sense. Daniel Snyder loves players of Haynesworth's ilk. In no way should he be going to Belichick's Holyland. He had already found his true fit as a member of the Washington Redskins. Him leaving D.C. is tragic.
4. Michael Vick - Do you really think Ron Mexico is all that remorseful? He gets out of prison and immediately gets to sit behind Donovan McNabb in a quarterback-friendly system. After usurping McNabb and Kevin Kolb a year later, Vick is back to being a smarter version of his former exciting self, albeit in an even more dynamic system with great coaches and a great roster. You know what I want to see- Vick on the Cleveland Browns. I want this for two reasons. A) Their fans represent "the dog pound" which would be hilarious and create many dog fighting jokes.
B) If you want someone to learn from their mistakes, put them on the Cleveland Browns. Vick may even believe that he was better off in prison! This would be fair and just penance.
3. Aaron Rodgers - Get this man out of the NFC North!!! Remember back in 2005 when the San Francisco 49ers drafted Alex Smith #1 overall? That's right folks- the 49ers opted for a San Diego kid that played college ball in Utah instead of a Norther California born QB from Chico who played right across the Bay Bridge at Cal and had natural QB instincts rather than being a product of Urban Meyer's system. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. I literally think they took a peek at Kyle Boller and said, "Well, he went to Cal also and didn't really work for the Ravens, so obviously we cannot take Aaron Rodger- a completely different player who came up in the clutch and beat USC." Yikes. The Niners' brass has not had a great decade. Rodgers belongs with the Niners if for no other reason than I do not enjoy the Bears playing against him twice (three times?!) a year.
2. Cedric Benson - Ced Benson should not be on the Bears, Bengals, or any other goddamn NFL team (though he's a great fit on the Bengals with his record of arrests.) So where does he belong?
That's right. He belongs in prison playing for the convicts from "The Longest Yard." At least Michael Vick actually went to prison already and paid for his crimes. Benson keeps getting arrested and he keeps getting out of jail time. The system is enabling this guy to never learn a lesson- i.e. it protects his butthole. Someone needs to teach Benson a lesson by finally catching him with weight- cl-clank-clank!
1. James Harrison - This guy is famous for late hits, roughing quarterbacks, and calling Roger Goodell "the devil." Does this guy really sound like a Pittsburgh Steeler at heart? Sure, he plays a part in their stout defense, but I know another place where James Harrison would fit right in...
It's not even close. James Harrison should be a Raider. Al Davis and Co. would have his back each time he did or said anything idiotic. Fans would revel in Harrison's cheap shots and it would set up a beautiful ecosystem of enabling. This scenario would turn James Harrison's Sherdder into Raider James Harrison's Super-Shredder!
So there they are. The mismatched players that would be better served on new rosters. Bring your own to the table in the comments.
5. Albert Haynesworth - Wait a tick! You mean this guy was not a good/great fit on the Redskins?! He has a bad attitude, he's over paid, and he spikes Cowboys in the face with his cleat?!?
 |
| Cleats go with Cowboy face like peanut butter and jelly. |
4. Michael Vick - Do you really think Ron Mexico is all that remorseful? He gets out of prison and immediately gets to sit behind Donovan McNabb in a quarterback-friendly system. After usurping McNabb and Kevin Kolb a year later, Vick is back to being a smarter version of his former exciting self, albeit in an even more dynamic system with great coaches and a great roster. You know what I want to see- Vick on the Cleveland Browns. I want this for two reasons. A) Their fans represent "the dog pound" which would be hilarious and create many dog fighting jokes.
 |
| Now here are some dogs that should be put in a fighting ring. |
3. Aaron Rodgers - Get this man out of the NFC North!!! Remember back in 2005 when the San Francisco 49ers drafted Alex Smith #1 overall? That's right folks- the 49ers opted for a San Diego kid that played college ball in Utah instead of a Norther California born QB from Chico who played right across the Bay Bridge at Cal and had natural QB instincts rather than being a product of Urban Meyer's system. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. I literally think they took a peek at Kyle Boller and said, "Well, he went to Cal also and didn't really work for the Ravens, so obviously we cannot take Aaron Rodger- a completely different player who came up in the clutch and beat USC." Yikes. The Niners' brass has not had a great decade. Rodgers belongs with the Niners if for no other reason than I do not enjoy the Bears playing against him twice (three times?!) a year.
 |
| Drink in another year of Alex Smith, Niner fans. |
 |
| Right fucking here |
1. James Harrison - This guy is famous for late hits, roughing quarterbacks, and calling Roger Goodell "the devil." Does this guy really sound like a Pittsburgh Steeler at heart? Sure, he plays a part in their stout defense, but I know another place where James Harrison would fit right in...
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| Raider Nation. |
 |
| Played by Kevin Nash! |
So there they are. The mismatched players that would be better served on new rosters. Bring your own to the table in the comments.
Monday, August 8, 2011
"You Ain't Got No Girlfriend!"
While at my friend's house in Martinez on Saturday, I ran into a friend from high school. In the interest of keeping this anonymous, I won't say his name. However, in the interest in giving him credit for this story, just know this is 100% his story. This guy always did an excellent Shaggy and Scooby impression, so let's call him "Shaggy."
This story took place this past December at a Costco. First some background-
- One of Shaggy's best friends is a guy we'll call "JP" (also from our high school.) JP's parents are apparently ripped from the 1950's. They are wholesome and naive.
- Shaggy's girlfriend had met JP once, but never met JP's parents.
- Shaggy and his girlfriend had just eaten pot-brownies to make the trip to Costco more fun and/or interesting.
So the couple gets to Costco and the brownies begin to kick in. Early into the trip, Shaggy gets a call from another friend discussing the new handgun had just bought. Yes, this story keeps getting more and more ridiculous- but it's awesome.
While on the phone talking handguns, Shaggy sees JP's mom. He decides to dodge her at the moment because a) he's high and b) he's talking about handguns. He figures he'll say "hello" after he's off the phone if he sees her again.
After a few minutes, Shaggy feels that feeling all coupled people sense when their significant other is getting annoyed with the amount of time they are take too long of a phone call while out shopping. I've definitely been the sender and receiver of that vibe, so I can't really fault her. Not to mention, they are both high, so a conversation about a brand new handgun could probably last hours without intervention.
Shaggy decides to end the conversation and continue shopping. After a while, they are finishing up their shopping trip (did they get an industry sized bag of "The Munchies?" I really hope so!) Down the main aisle near the checkouts, Shaggy sees both of JP's parents. He tells his girlfriend he's going to go say hi and introduce her. Silently, she feels self-conscious about being high and decides this would not be the best time to meet JP's parents. She walks about without saying a thing and Shaggy does not notice that she did not follow him over.
Shaggy exchanges pleasantries with JP's parents, and when they ask him how he's doing he says, "I'm fine- just here shopping with my girlfriend..." He motions to his side only to find that she's gone.
This seemed to be funny enough. An imaginary girlfriend for a guy who is ripped is a comical situation. However, to kick it up a notch, with perfect timing, a large random black man immediately inserts himself into the conversation by saying the following:
"You ain't got no girlfriend! I'm your man! That's right- don't be ashamed of me no more! Don't you be talkin' 'bout no girlfriend!" Etc., etc.
Apparently, this guy went on for upwards up 30 seconds. Shaggy and JP's parents were stunned and all of them were silent as they listened to this hulking Little Richard. When he reached the conclusion of his rant. He politely states, "I'm just kiddin' ya'll. Merry Christmas!" Then bounces away in feminine fashion with his cart.
Shaggy looks at JP's parents, not knowing exactly what to say. He was stunned and his head was still swimming because, well, he was high. Eventually, he blurts out, "Wow- that was weird. But you know what, that guy was actually really, really funny." To which JP's mom replies, "Oh, I didn't think so- he startled me!" Awesome.
Eventually Shaggy's girlfriend came over for a quick introduction, everyone checked out and left. So ends the greatest story I've ever heard that was set inside of a Costco.
This story took place this past December at a Costco. First some background-
- One of Shaggy's best friends is a guy we'll call "JP" (also from our high school.) JP's parents are apparently ripped from the 1950's. They are wholesome and naive.
- Shaggy's girlfriend had met JP once, but never met JP's parents.
- Shaggy and his girlfriend had just eaten pot-brownies to make the trip to Costco more fun and/or interesting.
So the couple gets to Costco and the brownies begin to kick in. Early into the trip, Shaggy gets a call from another friend discussing the new handgun had just bought. Yes, this story keeps getting more and more ridiculous- but it's awesome.
While on the phone talking handguns, Shaggy sees JP's mom. He decides to dodge her at the moment because a) he's high and b) he's talking about handguns. He figures he'll say "hello" after he's off the phone if he sees her again.
 |
| Nothing like weed and handguns to get the juices flowing. |
Shaggy decides to end the conversation and continue shopping. After a while, they are finishing up their shopping trip (did they get an industry sized bag of "The Munchies?" I really hope so!) Down the main aisle near the checkouts, Shaggy sees both of JP's parents. He tells his girlfriend he's going to go say hi and introduce her. Silently, she feels self-conscious about being high and decides this would not be the best time to meet JP's parents. She walks about without saying a thing and Shaggy does not notice that she did not follow him over.
Shaggy exchanges pleasantries with JP's parents, and when they ask him how he's doing he says, "I'm fine- just here shopping with my girlfriend..." He motions to his side only to find that she's gone.
 |
| "♫♪ She's gone, oh why, oh why... ♪♫" |
"You ain't got no girlfriend! I'm your man! That's right- don't be ashamed of me no more! Don't you be talkin' 'bout no girlfriend!" Etc., etc.
Apparently, this guy went on for upwards up 30 seconds. Shaggy and JP's parents were stunned and all of them were silent as they listened to this hulking Little Richard. When he reached the conclusion of his rant. He politely states, "I'm just kiddin' ya'll. Merry Christmas!" Then bounces away in feminine fashion with his cart.
 |
| I imagine he looked like this. |
Eventually Shaggy's girlfriend came over for a quick introduction, everyone checked out and left. So ends the greatest story I've ever heard that was set inside of a Costco.
Friday, August 5, 2011
The Cubs Ruining Everyone's Fun
First, let's start with this pretty hilarious video from Miles Fisher. It combines "Saved By The Bell" with "Final Destination" and has Champ from "Anchorman" playing the part of Mr. Belding. I'm not sure you can get much better... well, maybe if the song was better:
Now for my weekly complaint with the Chicago Cubs. I am long past the point where I give a shit about the Cubs and plan to not watch another game for the rest of the season. This is horrible as I invested in MLB.TV at the beginning of the season. This service is now going to waste because of how terrible my team is. You might say, "Prime, the Cubs have won 5 real, actual games in a row- what is your problem this week?" To which I would reply with the following:
The Cubs are fucking con-artists. They've used their play this week to prank two separate groups of people this week.
Group #1 - The Pittsburgh Pirates
I'm not going to grab the research, but trust me when I say the Pirates have DOMINATED the Cubs the past two or three years. Earlier this year (May), the Pirates put a few nails in the Cubs' season's coffin. Last year, I believe the Cubs lost something like 17 of 20 games to the Buccos. It has been a virtual certainty that when the Pirates come to town, the Cubs should (and do) run and hide like little bitches. However, this seems to have been a long con where the Cubs have bided their time to get the Pirates at the most painful of times...
Well, now that the Pirates and their fans had a possibility of making a playoff run for the first time in 17 or so years, the Cubs go into their house and play spoiler. Classic Cubs. They are about ruining fun for everyone. Their priority is to ruin the fun for their own fanbase first (which I am a part of despite the rage I have understandably unleashed recently) but then they will victimize other hapless fanbases just for fun. When the pressure is off, they will come in and dominate a team on the verge of defeating their own futility.
Remember last year when Mike Quade rearranged his rotation to take on the San Diego Padres? It was a clutch move that helped the San Francisco Giants take the NL West (this is why Quade was on the All-Star team coaching staff this year- it was Bruce Bochy saying, "Thank you.") I'm sure my friends who are Giants fans are very thankful for that move, but San Diego Padres fans are some of the most beaten down of all time. If you think 100+ years without a World Series is bad, try having your steak at infinity. I'm surprised the 1984 NLCS didn't cause the apocalypse.
So back the Pirates, the Cubs just swept them in a 4 game series in Pittsburgh to essentially ruin any chance of a black and yellow playoff appearance. Like I said, the Cubs are a dangerous team without pressure, and they will ruin the fun of other fanbases.
Except for the Cardinals... the Cardinals are impervious the Cubs curses. In fact, the Cubs beating up on the Pirates helped the Cards. This proves my point.
#2 Cub Fans
I know why Harry Caray drank gallons of Budweiser while announcing Cub games. It was the only way to deal with the managerial decisions, player errors, and front office miscalculations that the Cubs bring to the table. This is also why typical collective bleacher blood/alcohol level at Wrigley Field is 8002.53. How else can Cub fans cope with the product that are given on the field?
The Cubs love to get themselves out of contention, then beat up on a good team just to show fans what could have been. I for one, am not buying this any longer. If the Cubs are going to tank, they should tank so hard that they are forced to sell at the trade deadline and receive a high draft pick. They should HAVE to shake up the front office, the manager, and the players. This "we'll do enough to save everyone's jobs" thing is getting to as old as George Burns. And yes, I'm aware that George Burns died in 1996. That's the point. This act is dead.
It is sick that I am, ultimately, proud to be a Cub fan. Like I've stated before, I'll never not be a Cub fan. I "bleed Cubbie blue and red" like so many of us Cub fans. I'm also not a negative person and don't particularly like it when Cub fans get so crazy that they complain needlessly (as they have in other years instead of appreciating exactly how good the team actually was.) However, I've reached the end with this regime. The Ricketts family needs to clean house immediately. Find someone else. I don't care who it is. How about the Blue Jays' young GM? What about Billy Beane? Give that guy a decent payroll and see what he can do with it. A's fans are sick of him anyway. I hear Pat Gillick is a possibility. Do whatever you can to find a replacement for Jim Hendry yesterday. This current regime has run its course and needs a culture change immediately.
And stop giving every signed player a no trade clause!!!
Now for my weekly complaint with the Chicago Cubs. I am long past the point where I give a shit about the Cubs and plan to not watch another game for the rest of the season. This is horrible as I invested in MLB.TV at the beginning of the season. This service is now going to waste because of how terrible my team is. You might say, "Prime, the Cubs have won 5 real, actual games in a row- what is your problem this week?" To which I would reply with the following:
The Cubs are fucking con-artists. They've used their play this week to prank two separate groups of people this week.
Group #1 - The Pittsburgh Pirates
I'm not going to grab the research, but trust me when I say the Pirates have DOMINATED the Cubs the past two or three years. Earlier this year (May), the Pirates put a few nails in the Cubs' season's coffin. Last year, I believe the Cubs lost something like 17 of 20 games to the Buccos. It has been a virtual certainty that when the Pirates come to town, the Cubs should (and do) run and hide like little bitches. However, this seems to have been a long con where the Cubs have bided their time to get the Pirates at the most painful of times...
 |
| This guy also knows a thing or two about long cons. |
Remember last year when Mike Quade rearranged his rotation to take on the San Diego Padres? It was a clutch move that helped the San Francisco Giants take the NL West (this is why Quade was on the All-Star team coaching staff this year- it was Bruce Bochy saying, "Thank you.") I'm sure my friends who are Giants fans are very thankful for that move, but San Diego Padres fans are some of the most beaten down of all time. If you think 100+ years without a World Series is bad, try having your steak at infinity. I'm surprised the 1984 NLCS didn't cause the apocalypse.
 |
| Many experts predicted this scenario just after the '84 NLCS. |
Except for the Cardinals... the Cardinals are impervious the Cubs curses. In fact, the Cubs beating up on the Pirates helped the Cards. This proves my point.
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| Impervious to Cubs curses, but not DUIs. |
I know why Harry Caray drank gallons of Budweiser while announcing Cub games. It was the only way to deal with the managerial decisions, player errors, and front office miscalculations that the Cubs bring to the table. This is also why typical collective bleacher blood/alcohol level at Wrigley Field is 8002.53. How else can Cub fans cope with the product that are given on the field?
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| They didn't even try to hide Harry's love of booze. |
 |
| You're using the wrong finger, George. |
And stop giving every signed player a no trade clause!!!
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