My Predictions Are Trash

I decided to look over my preseason NFL picks and damn was that embarrassing.  My picks this year were just awful.  Here are some teams that I'd like to ask for their forgiveness:

- San Francisco 49ers: Holy shit-balls.  This team got good in a hurray.  I'm still not exactly sure what their true identity is, but they are beating other good teams (Eagles, Bucs, Lions) with a tough defense and a QB in Alex Smith that has led 3 game-winning drives this year.  Jim Harbaugh is fighting other coaches and conquering opposing teams without remorse.  I did not think they could execute this turnaround so quickly, but they did.

This magazine cover is beautiful.  Factually inaccuratet, but still beautiful.

- Buffalo Bills: G$ called this one and I laughed at him.  I did not understand how good Ryan Fitzpatrick really is and how much their team has improved since last year.  True, they did lose a close one to the Giants this past week, but they are a better team than the Jets.  I now think the Bills will make the playoffs.  Shocking stuff.

- Cincinnati Bengals: Is it true that the Bengals just traded Carson Palmer to the Raiders for two potential first round picks?!  Al Davis is working magic from the great beyond.  I initially believed the Bengals would go 0-16.  As it turns out, their defense is stout and Andy Daulton has been a serviceable starter.  Does it bother anyone that the Bengals seem to only draft ginger quarterbacks?  Maybe they like matching uniforms with their QB's beard stubble.  In any case, well done Bengals.  I didn't see it coming.

Ginger regret.

Teams that should be asking for my (or their fan base's) forgiveness:

- St. Louis Rams: "Two steps forward, two steps back, we're drafting 1 and Luck's our quarterback."  As fucking lame as it is for me to rewrite lyrics for Paula Abdul, it is even more fucking lame that this team is reaching a new level of futility.  They thought they were on their way to dominating the horrid NFC West.  Instead, they are now the worst of the bunch and the 49ers are suddenly very solid.  They thought they had their franchise QB, but if they draft #1, they pretty much have to take Andrew Luck and trade Sam Bradford.  Wouldn't that be interesting?  Point is, the Rams are wretched and will probably move back to LA.

2.4 seconds before the carton rape.

- Philadelphia Eagles: They could still make noise, but I bought into the hype with everyone else.  They are a flawed team with many weaknesses.  I hope they lose out.  They won't, but a blogger can dream, right?

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Predicting the NFL is difficult.  This year, my predictions are an embarrassment to my future-telling skills.  Just garbage.