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| Fist wag. |
It's pretty obvious that I'm a Transformers fan based on my profile icon for this blog. I was a huge fan when I was a kid and as an adult I find a large amount of nostalgia when watching current iterations of the Transformers. That is to say, I'm very biased toward liking these movies.
That said, after finishing up what I assume is the last third of the live action Transformers movie trilogy (Michael Bay and Shia LaBOOF both say they are not coming back for another flick) I'm left with a similar feeling as huge Star Wars fans felt after the prequel trilogy concluded. It is a very easy comparison to make. Watch:
Star Wars I-III - Everything with light sabers is fucking cool. The acting is hollow for the most part. The plot could have been better.
Transformers 1-3 - Everything with massive robots beating the shit out of each other is fucking cool. The acting is hollow for the most part (exceptions are complimented below.) The plot could have been better.
As a middle of the road geek, I'm also a Star Wars fan (who isn't?) that was relatively disappointed with the prequels (more plot-wise than anything else.) That said, I enjoyed watching them for the sheer spectacle that was provided on screen. The Transformers movies fall right in line with that same comparison.
"Dark Of The Moon" improves on "Revenge Of The Fallen" by having a more direct plot. "ROTF" was all over the fucking place to cater to Michael Bay's desire to have robots fighting at the pyramids in Egypt. "DOTM" kept things States-side for the most part and the film benefited from that.
Rosie Huntington-Whiteley was a strong replacement for Megan Fox and provided eye candy for nerds the world over. She is a bit too hot for Shia LaBOOF's Sam, which was distracting. Sam getting Megan Fox in the previous movies was a bit more believable because a) it's easy to trick high school girls into settling and b) they experienced life-threatening events together strengthening their bond. With Rosie's Carly, Sam puts some cheesy moves on her and then she agrees to be his girlfriend AND pay his rent. Seems unlikely at best. Then again, robots from outer space battling on Earth isn't the most likely thing either.
Most of the previous cast returns. Josh Duhamel does a great job as usual and Tyrese is always welcome in action movies. I was disappointed with Terry Tate: Office Linebacker as he had an appearance as a soldier but came off as kind of a puss. Also, he looks a lot like half-of-Cee-Lo which was distracting. He should be spearing robots and ripping their heads off with his bare-hands, not cowering in fear during multiple moments!
The robots were mostly awesome. Optimus Prime was more of the badass that he deserves to be. Bumblebee played his usual role as Sam's best robot buddy, but I found myself more invested in this relationship as Sam and Bumblebee aren't always together as they are in the first two movies. There was an Italian Autobot named Vino that played a minor role. I'm pissed he didn't, at some point, say, "We've got a situation here." That would've been hilarious.
They wisely left the racist "twins" from the last movie out. Childish humor remained with Wheelie and his sidekick that looked like a miniature Grateful Dead fan. I get, there has to be kiddy humor in these movies (they are trying to sell toys after all) and this brand of lame jokes were much less excessive than "ROTF," which was good.
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| "I eat beef, wif my gold teef. I kiss bitches wif my fist!" |
Sentinel Prime (voiced by Leonard Nimoy) was solid. Nimoy voiced Galvatron, the main Decepticon antagonist, in the 1986 animated movie, so it was awesome to have him back voicing another Transformer. Maybe Judd Nelson can help out in the next set of Transformers movies? I'd be in favor of that move for sure.
The Decepticons were threatening as ever. Megatron was badly deformed from the final battle of "ROTF" while Starscream continued to gravel at his "master's" side. Soundwave was back and accompanied by Laserbeak, who really shines in this movie (there is a CREEPY home invasion scene that works quite well.)
And that brings us to Shockwave. They didn't make him evil and calculating like the 1980s comics or smart and loyal like the 80s cartoons, BUT they did make him extremely evil and dangerous. He faithfully retains his cyclops look and totes a corkscrew pet that wreaks excessive amounts of damage throughout the movie (you've seen this thing destroying a skyscraper in the movie's commercials.) Shockwave is intimidating and a sight to see in 3D.
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| "I will fuck you up." |
Which brings us to the 3D aspect of the whole thing. "DOTM" holds up as the second most impressive 3D experience I've seen at the movies (first is "Avatar.") I find the 3D medium gimmicky as a whole, but if you're going to see TF3, then pony up the extra few bucks. It's worth it to add depth to the robots and watching the soldiers "wingsuit" out of a plane and through the city below is worth the price of admission. What this movie lacks in plot is made up for in wicked special effects.
In the end, I enjoyed the movie. It was a bit too long and oddly paced at times, but the special effects are some of the most impressive ever seen on screen. It's almost jarring. I found myself concerned for the real actors during some of the stunts ("How the fuck did they not kill themselves while filming this?!?") I would say this is the second best Transformers movie overall (the first movie owned the most cohesive plot) but this third entry blows the others away in special effects and just being able to tell what is going on while the robots are fighting each other.
If you liked either of the first two movies, you'll enjoy this one. If you enjoy watching special effects and stunts, then you'll enjoy this movie as well. If you hate Michael Bay and Shia LaBOOF, then there probably isn't hope for you to like this movie at all. Unlike the actual Transformers, this movie is not pretending to be something it's not. It's a grand action flick that is a sight to be seen.
