Duh Cubs!

I'm not in a good mood today.  This will not be pretty.  My team has finally broken me.  Like a scorned lover that's been cheated on over and over and over and over again, I am DONE with the Cubs this year.  This process has been building steadily since the beginning of the year, but yesterday it hit me like Chris Brown.  I hate pretty much every player on the Cubs.  Seriously.  Not one of these guys owns a warm place in my heart.  Starlin Castro might be the closest.  While under no circumstances should the Cubs trade him, he hasn't won me over because he's a work in progress (remember when he made an error in the 9th inning of the All-Star game and almost let the AL back in the game?  Yeah?  He does that ALL the time as a member of the Cubs.) 

I know I've had rants like this in the past, but this is on another level.  I can't remember being as depressed about my baseball team as I am today.  I remember in 2002, the Cubs were awful, but I watched regularly to see a young Mark Prior and/or Kerry Wood pitch.  The team was awful, but exciting.  One could tell that they were building towards something.  Sure enough, they found themselves in the NLCS the following year in what was the most interesting Cubs season of my entire life (sad, isn't it?)  This year, I am mildly excited about Starlin Castro (and Darwin Barney to a much lesser extent) but there is no evidence indicating to me that Castro's defensive woes will ever go away.  Hitting .300 is sweet, but playing good/great defense is necessary as well at the Shortstop position. 

Once, again, allow me to cleanse my soul and likely repeat myself by calling out individuals on the Cubs. 

Mike Quade - Just awful.  Just thinking about his stupid, dumb head makes me want to throw my computer across the room.  It is my belief that Quade succeeded last year because the Cubs needed a friendlier manager after Lou Pinella retired.  Pinella's stress must have boiled over into the locker room and everyone was playing tight.  Quade helped alleviate the tightness last year and the players played better.  Playing loose is much easier when nothing is on the line.  Quade consistently demonstrates why he was stuck in the minors as a coach for years and years and years... he's just not that smart. 

Pictured: Mike Quade

I hate Tony LaRussa, but the dude is smart.  Even Dusty Baker looks like a genius in comparison.  I have no faith in Quade's decision making or his rationale afterwards.  He's also a sucker for veterans while he uses the young'uns as scapegoats.  At this point, Quade needs to stop sucking the veterans cocks and bench anyone who says they will refuse a trade.  Speaking of which...

Aramis Ramirez - Hey look everyone!  Aramis is playing the best he's played since 2008!  One would think he would want to help a contender and the Cubs could cash in on the value.  Oh wait- they can't because Ramirez has stated he will veto any trade.  Awesome.  I understand that he's "earned that right" and that it would be "too hard to move his family."  But guess what?  You are a MILLIONAIRE.  A MULTI-MILLIONAIRE.  It's hard to move a family when you make $30,000 a year and have 4 kids that you can't afford.  It's easy to find comfort for your family when you have tens of millions of dollars. 

Now here are some people who would have difficulty moving their families.

The easy solution?  Don't move them.  You're a baseball player.  You go on road trips- you can't be with your family most of the season anyway.  When October rolls around and you become a free agent, you will likely have to move.  Go attempt to help a contender in the meantime.  You'll find little sympathy from fans who wish they were good enough to play a game for their job.  Instead, we get to put cover letters on TPS reports and get called in on Saturday to work.  Stop being a crybaby bitch, Error-Mis! 

Jim Hendry - Why on Earth are all these veterans actively stating they won't accept a trade (we could start with why do all of these veterans have no-trade clauses, but I'm sure we've talked about that in the past)?  Has the Cubs organization become so soft that no one wants to leave?  They protect players from the criticism of rabid and irrational fans and Chicago media.  They only criticize the younger players in the organization when there is plenty of blame to be shouldered by the overpaid veterans.  It starts at the top and I'm hoping for a "Game Of Thrones" resolution to the Cubs' GM problem ASAP.  Ok, maybe that was harsh- Hendry doesn't need to get his head cut off, but is castration an out of line request?

Tom Ricketts pictured in the crown. Jim Hendry kneeling on the right.

Ryan Dempster - It's the goofy, fun guy of the clubhouse!  He's the guy who stuck up for Mike Quade during the hiring process.  He's now also the guy who recently cussed out his manager in the dugout for cameras to see.  Are you frustrated, Ryan?  You should be.  You asked for this manager to be hired and you got it.  At least I'm a fan and know I had nothing to do with the non-hiring of Cubs' Hall of Famer, Triple-A Manager of the Year 2010, and my childhood idol, Ryne Sandberg.  You, however, had everything to do with it.  Suck it, Dumpster.  Whatever frustration you endure this year, you deserve. 

Carlos Marmol - Marmol might be the dirtiest pitcher in the game except for one thing- he has no control whatsoever.  Somebody find this guy Rick "Wild Thing" Vaughn's prescription glass immediately. 

Yeah, those would help.

It's a wonder he wasn't able to beat out Kerry Wood or Kevin Gregg a few years ago for the closer role.  Lou Pinella recognized how little control Marmol possessed and likely did not have strong enough heart medication to deal with that day in and day out.  I always figured Marmol was the closer of the present and future... no I'm depressingly unsure.

I'm actually getting worked up writing about this!  My goal was to purge myself of the bad vibes the Cubs have thrust upon me like a rain cloud that follows me around all day, then I'd be done with it.  Instead, this has left me more worked up than when I began.  Even the Pirates are winning this year, while the Cubs flounder!  How is that possible with the third highest payroll in baseball?!?  Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

I will never be driven to adopt a new team, but my level of passion for this season needs to drop to zero.  That is a depressing fact based around the current state of the Cubs.  Ugh.