Friday Fun

Hey there!  Let's keep it real.  I went to see the Damnwells last night in SF.  I got to bed around 2am (and change) and I have a show today in Danville at 6pm (and there's this pesky business of work in the middle of all of that!)  I'm hoping to sneak in a post on my old blog about the show.  Needless to say, the show was fucking awesome.

I'm tired, but on one of those natural highs that you can get when seeing an inspiring show.  See you all Monday and thanks for reading this blog from time to time.  Rock on!

Thursday Hodge Podge

I'm not sure I have anything all that interesting to talk about today. I'm going to see the Damnwells tonight in San Francisco, so that will no doubt be fun. Other than that, I'm just keeping tabs on NFL player movement. My wish of Sidney Rice on the Bears has been dashed by his signing with the Seattle Seahawks. That's cool- I'm sure he and Tavaris Jackson will continue their same offensive dominance on the West Coast. Great choice, deek.

Sidney Rice will look good in a Seahawks uniform.

And what's this? The Cubs are trading Fukudome to the Indians? Finally, they are able to unload one player. Unfortunate that they still have to pay $3.9 million of his remaining salary. Yikes. The Cubs are as good at business as their team is at baseball. Hopefully they get some decent prospects in return. Hopefully...

Carlos Beltran landed with the Giants before the trade deadline. One can't help but think that the Giants would be poised for a repeat if they also had Buster Posey. Instead, they have catchers that drop infield pop-ups and bat .180. I suppose you could also argue that the Giants may not have made the trade for Beltran had Posey still been healthy. I guess we'll never know. It is a good pick up for them and could really help them in the playoffs. Getting in is a certainty at this point as I don't think any other NL West team has the juice to compete with the Giants.

Where was this move in May?!

Albert Haynesworth to the Patriots!? Wha-what?! C'mon Hoodie! You are getting awfully cocky with your "I can make any player into a team-player" attitude. It is amazing that getting rid of such a good player will help the Redskins, and I'm not certain his acquisition will help New England in the long run. Once again, we'll find out. Damn, the NFL will be interesting this year!

Like I mentioned, I don't have much on to talk about today. I'm waiting for Haynesworth to cleat Tom Brady in the face during a Pats practice... then I'll have a lot to talk about.

90s Rock: Miscellaneous

We all know there are plenty of bands from the 90s that may deserve a mention, but probably do not deserve an entire post written about them.  The Toadies are one such band (even though I did write a post about them awhile back on my other, less anonymous blog.)  So here are some solid tunes from the bands that did not make it to the upper echelon of 90s bands that I enjoy (Nirvana, STP, Pearl Jam, Oasis, AIC, Smashing Pumpkins, etc.) 

Tonic - "Casual Affair"

Tonic comes close to getting their own post, and I'm not saying I'll never flesh out their catalog a bit further, but this song deserves extra special mention because it fucking RAWKS!  Seriously.  The intro is a dirty blues-based hammer and pull on the E string riff that I never get sick of.  If you don't like this, you don't like 90s rock!



Dishwalla - "Counting Blue Cars"

I think most people recognize and enjoy this song. Minor key verse with a soaring chorus. Standard songwriting that will get the job done a majority of the time. I very much enjoy the rest of the "Pet Your Friends" record, but this is the song that really put Dishwalla on the map.



Verve Pipe - "Photograph"

I know everyone knows them from the remixed version of "The Freshman" that wasn't even on the original "Villians" album, but how great is this song?! It was the first single off "Villians" and the organ and bass really shine on this track to create quite the catchy tune. (Apparently not that popular as this was one of the most difficult times I've had finding a decent version of the song on YouTube.)



K's Choice - "Not An Addict"

Just because I jam with the drummer that originally recorded this song, does not make me bias!!! I actually saw them open for Tonic and Verve Pipe in Chicago at the Vic when I was in high school. I bought the CD shortly after and it's quite good. I don't always enjoy women singers, but when I do, I prefer K's Choice.



Lit - "Miserable"

And because you deserve a video featuring Pam Anderson from the 90s, here is Lit's "Miserable." That's a huge bitch! I always preferred this song over "My Own Worst Enemy," but both are pretty good songs to rock out to.



That's it for me today. I hope you enjoyed these great songs from moderately popular 90s bands.

NFL Is Back... It's Back!

The most dominant professional sports league in the US (possibly the world?- someone do some research and get back to me!) is back in business.  I've tried my very best to tune out football news these last few months because most of it revolved around the Lockout, which is dumb.  Like I give a flying fuck about the owners and players participating in a game of wits involving a CBA and iocaine powder. 

"Inconceivable!"

So now that the off-field nonsense is over, we can get back down to real business.  What in holy hell are the Bears going to do to get back to the playoffs?!  I know the Packers were a better team last year, but when your team gets to the NFC Championship game, you tend to get a little greedy... well, at least I do! 

Here are some smart moves the Bears can start with:

Offensive Line - I don't care who the actual names are, just get Jay Cutler some help.  Call him a pussy, he was certainly tough enough to last most of the season behind an offensive line that were less like a wall and more like a group of matadors.

B.J. Raji pictured getting through the Bears' O-Line.

Obviously, this has to be fixed immediately.  I can't help but think this would not only help Jay Cutler become a more effective QB, but it would also help Matt Forte immensely.  Forte is a dynamic back that has yet to put two great seasons together back-to-back.  He could do it this year if the O-Line is improved. 

Do not sleep on the Defense:

Just because the Bears' D was good last year, does not mean they will automatically be good this year.  Of course, Brian Urlacher, Lance Briggs, and Julius Peppers are back, but the Bears have quite a few unrestricted free agents that need to be re-signed or replaced.  I'm also interested to see Stephen Paea debut with the Bears.  He set the World Record of benching 225 lbs. 49 times at the combine and while this means nothing on the actual football field, it's still impressive and means he can probably move around some opponents' Offensive Linemen.  I'm not sure of the exact moves that need to be made, but the Bears must continue to back up their reputation as a hard-nosed Defensive team. 

Wide Receivers, pretty please:

My pick for the Bears is Sidney Rice.  The Vikings stole Bernard Berrian away from the Bears a few years ago and it's about time we return the favor by stealing one of theirs.  Rice is a big, strong receiver that can help Cutler by wrestling away potential INTs from opposing Defensive Backs or just reaching balls that smaller receivers could not.  If not Rice, then it would make sense to explore Plaxico Burris (maybe not a possibility for the Bears) or Santanio Holmes (also, probably a long shot.)  Do NOT get enticed by Randy Moss or T.O.  They are past their prime and will NOT mesh well with Cutler.  That scenario would go about as well as a dinner party where Larry David is invited. 

Even Larry David knows Moss or T.O. would be train wrecks.

Apparently the Bears have also gotten rid of Brad Maynard.  This is a horrible decision and I'd like to be the first Bear fan to say that this move will come back to them at some point during the season.  The Bears have been spoiled by Brad Maynard's magnificent punting- especially with to the Bears' ability to go three-and-out so often.  Find another good punter ASAP, fellas. 

That's really it.  I'm still grasping all the moves that need to be made, but that should give a solid base for what the Bears need.  How about your team?  If you're a Niner fan, you may need the team to go 1-15 in order to ensure acquiring Andrew Luck.  What say you? 

I'm just excited that NFL is back.

Football Is Back... Almost

Hilariously, I unleash the most hatred on my beloved Chicago Cubs last Thursday and they manage to scrape together their first 3-game win steak of the season over the weekend.  They still aren't good.  Trying winning 20 in a row and maybe they'll make "Moneyball 2: The Jim Hendry Story."  That would be about as good as the movie that Vince pitched the his buddies on the premier episode of "Entourage" last night.  What a terrible episode, right?  If I wanted to see dysfunctional relationships with no drinking or partying, I'd watch home videos of my parents circa 2002.  Things better pick up, HBO.  But I digress...

I had a few shows this weekend, but those occurred with little or no incident.  There was some Mexican with a long braided ponytail that told me to "play cooler songs" but since I wanted him to "have a cooler haircut" I didn't end up paying much attention to him.  Instead, let's briefly mention a few stories from the sporting world that I'm less than educated on, but still want to rant anyway. 

Ohio State looks like they may get off with little or no NCAA sanctions.  I rarely bring up the Buckeyes because the subject of College Football is simply out of my wheelhouse.  There are probably intricacies from both stories, but as a casual observer, I have a hard time figuring out how USC got raked over the coals while OSU escapes with what amounts to be a ruler slap on the wrist by a Catholic school nun. 

USC got in trouble and Pete Carroll resigned.  OSU got in trouble and Jim Tressel resigned.  Call it a push.

Thanks to cheating and bad reffing, JT's tenure was not a complete waste.

USC's majority of rule breaking came through Reggie Bush.  To my understanding, OSU's rule breaking was mostly due to Terrell Pryor, but also due to multiple issues with other players getting improper tattoo and car benefits.  If nothing else, Pryor left school and now may not be eligible for the NFL's supplemental draft.  This seems like a poor chance to take and that if there was less wrong-doing, Pryor would have elected to stay at OSU.  Reggie Bush was on the way out to the NFL because he was the best damn player in College Football.  Pryor left because he broke too many rules to allow further investigation.  Seems like OSU could be more in the wrong there. 

I know there are probably hundreds or thousands of pages of documents that I'm not willing to read to fully understand both cases.  Why?  Because I honestly am not invested in College Football at all.  I have no loyalty to any major College Football program.  If there is a dirty program out there who wants to pay me to become a fan, I would definitely listen.  I now only use College Football as a time passing distraction on Saturdays to get to NFL Sundays.  Speaking of which...

It looks like the NFL Lockout is over.  I give the Lockout an D- because it dominated ESPN and other sports media outlets needlessly.  Last Thursday was the final straw for me.  When the owners tried to pull a fast one and get everyone on board with their agreement and turn fans against the players for not approving it immediately.  Guess what?  Fans are not on either side.  They are on the side of getting a deal done. 

The only reason I give the Lockout as a whole a D- and not an F, was because it also kept Brett Favre's name out of the news.  Of course, now that the Lockout is almost over, rumors have surfaced of Favre returning to football and playing for the Eagles.  Awesome.  The Bears play the Eagles this year, so maybe we can get Corey Wootton vs. Favre Round 2. 

Yes, please.

Someone almost needs to order a hit on Favre to make sure he doesn't resurface.  What are the actors from "The Sopranos" doing?  They don't seem all that busy these days.  Maybe they could help and give themselves some street cred at the same time.  

I'm anxious to get on with the NFL season.  I'm slightly disappointed that the Hall Of Fame Game was canceled because this was the one year that the Bears were actually involved, but it probably doesn't matter.  One series by the starters and a virtual two hand touch game afterwards is not a huge loss. 


There's my football rant for the weekend.  It's too bad that there can't be a College Football Lockout.  I might enjoy that much more than an NFL Lockout.  It would probably just consist of players from USC, OSU, and the SEC holding out for more merchandise to sell off in their free time. 

Fantasy Baseball Friday

Another week passes, another trade has been made.  I announced to the league that I'm in full "fire sale" mode at 5-10 (I won last week during the short week with a 16th inning save by Jon Papelbon.)  My goal is to improve my keepers as much as possible, which means everyone is expendable besides my top 5 guys (we get 6 keepers, so I'd obviously be willing to trade players 6 and 7 for a higher quality keeper.)  This is the best aspect of being in a keeper fantasy baseball league because certain moves actually play out in a manner reminiscent of MLB trades.  Consider me the Astros (it would be the Cubs because none of my players have no trade clauses.) 

So I mentioned a trade, didn't I?  Ok, here's what I gave up:

Jon Papelbon and Anibal Sanchez

FOR

Big Game James Shields! 

"James Shields is pitching because he's a Jewish person." -- Crazy lady on Tampa talk radio, 2010 

I agree this is not a great trade if my goal was to continue competing for a playoff spot.  However, my goal is not to compete but to improve my keepers.  Currently, my certain keepers are now: Jered Weaver, James Shields, Jose Reyes, Joe Mauer, and Chase Utley.  My final decision leaves me with Paul Konerko or Daniel Hudson (who I'm liking more and more each week.)  I also have Jose Valverde, but I've decided it is dumb to keep relief pitchers unless you have one of the top 2 or 3 relievers.  This made Papelbon expendable AND how great is it that I no longer have to have his dumb face on my team?!  What an ass clown. 

GOOD RIDDANCE.

James Shields, on the other hand, is almost 30, in the prime of his career, leads the majors in complete games, and has a savage ERA in the AL East.  Quite impressive.  I'm excited about acquiring such a quality pitcher and I've seen it is possible that he gets traded to another team.  I could imagine this guy in the NL.  He would crush bitches.  I will also say that the best man from my wedding can expect texts saying "Big Game James!" about every 5 to 6 days.  Enjoy buddy!

So what do you think?  Is this a good strategy?  Am I making the proper moves?  Keep in mind I've acquired two of the top 5 pitchers (Weaver and Shields) in the past month or so AND the top offensive player this year (Reyes.)  I feel like Billy Beane when he knew what he was doing and getting extremely lucky.  Side note: Why the fuck didn't Art Howe pinch run Eric Byrnes for Jeremy Giambi against the Yankees in the ALCS?! 

Byrnes beats this throw by literally 90 feet.  Giambi would've beat it if he slid.

I bet Phillip Seymour Hoffman could manage the A's better!  Best Man (from the previous paragraph) believes that "Moneyball" looks like a Lifetime movie.  LOL!

If nothing else, these trades have distracted me from the awfulness that is my team.  Have a fun weekend, assholes- see you on Monday.

Duh Cubs!

I'm not in a good mood today.  This will not be pretty.  My team has finally broken me.  Like a scorned lover that's been cheated on over and over and over and over again, I am DONE with the Cubs this year.  This process has been building steadily since the beginning of the year, but yesterday it hit me like Chris Brown.  I hate pretty much every player on the Cubs.  Seriously.  Not one of these guys owns a warm place in my heart.  Starlin Castro might be the closest.  While under no circumstances should the Cubs trade him, he hasn't won me over because he's a work in progress (remember when he made an error in the 9th inning of the All-Star game and almost let the AL back in the game?  Yeah?  He does that ALL the time as a member of the Cubs.) 

I know I've had rants like this in the past, but this is on another level.  I can't remember being as depressed about my baseball team as I am today.  I remember in 2002, the Cubs were awful, but I watched regularly to see a young Mark Prior and/or Kerry Wood pitch.  The team was awful, but exciting.  One could tell that they were building towards something.  Sure enough, they found themselves in the NLCS the following year in what was the most interesting Cubs season of my entire life (sad, isn't it?)  This year, I am mildly excited about Starlin Castro (and Darwin Barney to a much lesser extent) but there is no evidence indicating to me that Castro's defensive woes will ever go away.  Hitting .300 is sweet, but playing good/great defense is necessary as well at the Shortstop position. 

Once, again, allow me to cleanse my soul and likely repeat myself by calling out individuals on the Cubs. 

Mike Quade - Just awful.  Just thinking about his stupid, dumb head makes me want to throw my computer across the room.  It is my belief that Quade succeeded last year because the Cubs needed a friendlier manager after Lou Pinella retired.  Pinella's stress must have boiled over into the locker room and everyone was playing tight.  Quade helped alleviate the tightness last year and the players played better.  Playing loose is much easier when nothing is on the line.  Quade consistently demonstrates why he was stuck in the minors as a coach for years and years and years... he's just not that smart. 

Pictured: Mike Quade

I hate Tony LaRussa, but the dude is smart.  Even Dusty Baker looks like a genius in comparison.  I have no faith in Quade's decision making or his rationale afterwards.  He's also a sucker for veterans while he uses the young'uns as scapegoats.  At this point, Quade needs to stop sucking the veterans cocks and bench anyone who says they will refuse a trade.  Speaking of which...

Aramis Ramirez - Hey look everyone!  Aramis is playing the best he's played since 2008!  One would think he would want to help a contender and the Cubs could cash in on the value.  Oh wait- they can't because Ramirez has stated he will veto any trade.  Awesome.  I understand that he's "earned that right" and that it would be "too hard to move his family."  But guess what?  You are a MILLIONAIRE.  A MULTI-MILLIONAIRE.  It's hard to move a family when you make $30,000 a year and have 4 kids that you can't afford.  It's easy to find comfort for your family when you have tens of millions of dollars. 

Now here are some people who would have difficulty moving their families.

The easy solution?  Don't move them.  You're a baseball player.  You go on road trips- you can't be with your family most of the season anyway.  When October rolls around and you become a free agent, you will likely have to move.  Go attempt to help a contender in the meantime.  You'll find little sympathy from fans who wish they were good enough to play a game for their job.  Instead, we get to put cover letters on TPS reports and get called in on Saturday to work.  Stop being a crybaby bitch, Error-Mis! 

Jim Hendry - Why on Earth are all these veterans actively stating they won't accept a trade (we could start with why do all of these veterans have no-trade clauses, but I'm sure we've talked about that in the past)?  Has the Cubs organization become so soft that no one wants to leave?  They protect players from the criticism of rabid and irrational fans and Chicago media.  They only criticize the younger players in the organization when there is plenty of blame to be shouldered by the overpaid veterans.  It starts at the top and I'm hoping for a "Game Of Thrones" resolution to the Cubs' GM problem ASAP.  Ok, maybe that was harsh- Hendry doesn't need to get his head cut off, but is castration an out of line request?

Tom Ricketts pictured in the crown. Jim Hendry kneeling on the right.

Ryan Dempster - It's the goofy, fun guy of the clubhouse!  He's the guy who stuck up for Mike Quade during the hiring process.  He's now also the guy who recently cussed out his manager in the dugout for cameras to see.  Are you frustrated, Ryan?  You should be.  You asked for this manager to be hired and you got it.  At least I'm a fan and know I had nothing to do with the non-hiring of Cubs' Hall of Famer, Triple-A Manager of the Year 2010, and my childhood idol, Ryne Sandberg.  You, however, had everything to do with it.  Suck it, Dumpster.  Whatever frustration you endure this year, you deserve. 

Carlos Marmol - Marmol might be the dirtiest pitcher in the game except for one thing- he has no control whatsoever.  Somebody find this guy Rick "Wild Thing" Vaughn's prescription glass immediately. 

Yeah, those would help.

It's a wonder he wasn't able to beat out Kerry Wood or Kevin Gregg a few years ago for the closer role.  Lou Pinella recognized how little control Marmol possessed and likely did not have strong enough heart medication to deal with that day in and day out.  I always figured Marmol was the closer of the present and future... no I'm depressingly unsure.

I'm actually getting worked up writing about this!  My goal was to purge myself of the bad vibes the Cubs have thrust upon me like a rain cloud that follows me around all day, then I'd be done with it.  Instead, this has left me more worked up than when I began.  Even the Pirates are winning this year, while the Cubs flounder!  How is that possible with the third highest payroll in baseball?!?  Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

I will never be driven to adopt a new team, but my level of passion for this season needs to drop to zero.  That is a depressing fact based around the current state of the Cubs.  Ugh.