NFL: Week 8

OUCH. 

Fantasy Football karma is a beeotch.  Last week was magical for two of my teams.  Unfortunately, this week put the scales back in balance by making my play like fromunda cheese.  But we'll get to Fantasy Football in a sec.  First, let's talk about this awful week of football. 

- The Bears were off.  Many weeks during the season, the Bears are the ones who put forth anemic performances.  This week, they didn't play so they couldn't possibly be responsible for the wretched play coming through the satellite waves.  Good luck next week against the Eagles, fellas!

- The 49ers got the job done against the Browns despite allowing the Brown-holes to be within striking distance in the 4th quarter.  The Niners dominated this game, but did not cash in on a few opportunities for TDs.  Is it unreal that the Niners are now 6-1 while the Seahawks in second place in the NFC West at 2-5? 

- Drew Brees... how you toy with my emotions.  I am so glad I was not in Reno this weekend.  I likely would've either left this game alone or bet on the Saints.  What can I say?  I have fantasy-goggles for Brees and Co.  The Saints were vomit-inducing against the previously winless Rams.  Brees and Colston severely affected my ability to have a successful Fantasy week.  

- There were some truly putrid games on this week.  I am absolutely amazed that I continued watching.  Be it the Redskins/Bills game or the Lions/Broncos game, weak teams were getting abused in lopsided games.  Did I mention the Colts?  Oh wow, they are worse than "Heroes" Season 4- and I did not think anything could be worse than that. 

"Save The Cheerleader, Save The World."  Oh wait, we did that, but it didn't work so we dropped that particular plot detail? Oops.

- The Cowboys: see the previous paragraph.  Tony Romo should work in a Tony Roma's rather than quarterback a NFL team. 

Fantasy Football Update:

Friends & Family:

CORE 56.30 - Foster... Arian 4 Beer 155.96

I just need to give up on this league.  I got taken to the woodshed this week.  FA4B had Steven Jackson and the Lions D put an ass whopping on me that Stone Cold Steve Austin would be proud of. I have Phillip Rivers and V-Jackson going tomorrow, but he still has Dwayne Bowe left!  Unreal!

Cali Not Keepers:

Peppermill High Rollers 70 - Boomer Sooners 86

While getting beat this week I couldn't help but continue to imagine Billy Sims yelling "BOOMER!" over and over again.  Oddly, this team also started Steven Jackson against me and even though I did have the Lions D, Brees was bad, Forte was on a bye, and Welker and BJG-E combined for 3 points (Thanks Patriots!)  I have no one left [knocks over King piece.]

Murder Panties 106 - Casey's Son 123

Ugh.  While Foster and Steve Smith were great, Brees and others did not put up their normal points and my team will likely get beat.  Apparently, for Casey's Son to own a fantasy player, they must be on the Detroit Lions (Megatron, Burleson, Schefler, and the Lions' D.)  I have the Chargers D and he has Dexter McCluster left to go. 

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I'm pissed about this week and would rather stop talking about this week for me to forget. 

Happy Halloween!

No Post Today

Sorry everyone, nothing today.  I'm trying to prove to the Observer that Thursday needs him (and I simply didn't have time to put something together last night.)  Thanks for hanging in there.

Flipping People Off On The Freeway

I was flipped off on the freeway the other day.  Here's the scenario and we can debate about whether I deserved it or not (I couldn't care less either way, though.)

During my morning commute, I was driving in the center lane of a three lane freeway.  My exit was coming up quick and the cars in the lane on my right were doing an elephant walk making it hard to merge over.  When the sign for my exit came into view, I put on my blinker, waited a couple seconds, and merged into a smaller than desired space.  My exit came up so quickly that I literally kept my blinker on and exited.

This is when the car behind me sped up, honked long and hard, and had their passenger riding shotgun flip me off. I laughed.

I'm curious to know their motivation there.  I suppose you could rationalize that I should have gotten over miles ago.  It's a pretty thin argument, but that might be the only leeway I would give in this situation.  I put my blinker on, they knew exactly what I was doing, and getting off the freeway means that there was urgency in my moves.  In no way was it even close to dangerous.  This leads me wonder about the people in the car flipping me off...

Do they flip people off daily?  They could be just looking for their scapegoat of the morning each morning- and today was my day.

Do they believe it is offensive for anyone to change lanes in front of them while driving?  Maybe they are big NASCAR fans that any attempt at merging over is seen as a slap in the face.  "Do you bite your thumb at me?"  I do, sir!

I agree that this was not the ideal situation for merging over, but once I made my move off the freeway, they had to know exactly what I was doing.  They sped up intentionally to honk and attempt to upset me.  Unfortunately, they didn't count on me being a secure person who doesn't care about some turd on the freeway flipping me off.  In fact, it provided me a topic for a blog- bonus!

While this was not the most interesting blog topic ever, feel free to chime in on any time you feel like you've been wrongly flipped off.  When the world gives the general public big responsibilities (like driving massive machines that are essentially death robots on wheels), it is obvious that the majority of people will abuse the power and let it go to their overcompensating heads.  

Dexter Season 6

I'm going to talk about Dexter up to this point in the season.  My intention is not to be spoiler-heavy, but let's be honest, if you haven't watched this season and will be upset if you are spoiled, then take the day off today. 

This season of Dexter has been good, but not great so far.  That said, it is what the series needed to keep things fresh.  For example, in the first episode, we are reintroduced to Dexter and he states that the last year has been relatively care-free and his murders have been executed to perfection.  Also, early in the season they sent Dexter to a high school reunion dance for a blow job and an easy kill.  As a viewer, this was a welcome segue into the season.  It allowed the audience to take a breath and reset the tension of the show.  Last season went directly from the Trinity killer debacle directly into the Lumen/Camp Rape/Jordan Chase situation.  The building tension forced me to start believing that there was no way Dexter would be able to escape all the heat of these situations crashing in on him. 

HAMMER TIME!

Currently, I feel they are doing a good job of pushing the reset button before ratcheting up the danger to Dexter and his loved ones once again. 

The focal point of this season has been faith- or more specifically, Dexter's lack of faith.  I was skeptical of this storyline, but with the help of Mos' Brother Sam, I'm starting to really buy in to the direction of the plot.  Initially, I wasn't sure that Mos would be anything more than a botched kill to shake Dexter about of his utopian murdering, but I've grown to really like Brother Sam.  I'm sure they'll put him in more situations that will make us question how much he's actually repented, but that's part of the fun, I suppose. 

Deb has been promoted to lieutenant and is square in the middle of a political squabble between Matthews and Laguarta.  Is it just me, or does this season feel like the perfect time to kill off Deb?  She has been on a collision course to get shanked for a long time and it feels like she could find out about Dexter then meet her doom during the season finale.  If not Deb, what characters could be playing chess with the Grim Reaper in the near future?

Quinn - I'm 50/50 on Quinn.  I thought he had a better chance of dying last season.  Now that he made it past Season 5 and is back to boning chicks and smoking doobies this year, I can't tell if they are working toward him getting Doakesed. 

Baustia - He might be the safest character besides Dexter in the entire show.  Killing him off would be quite a shock, which probably is why they would consider it.  I don't think they have the marbles to peel the bacon off his back, though. 

Brother Sam - As Dexter and Brother Sam (hilarious abbreviated as B.S.) become closer, Mos is more at risk.  Dexter ends up either putting his friends at risk or killing them outright. 

Detective Anderson - Chances of sleeping with Deb: 100%  Chances of dying: 80%  They brought this stiff in to do both. 

Masuka - Surprisingly, allowing the hot blonde girl to steal evidence from the Ice Truck Killer has put him in danger.  I doubt he's going to get killed, but I can definitely see him being put in a more harrowing position than ever before.  

And this brings us to Colin Hanks.  He's definitely going down.  I mean, the big bad boss man from each season has been killed to resolve the story arc.  I'm not trying to ruin anything, but when Edward James Olmos' character turns out to be as real as Brad Pitt's Tyler Durdin from "Fight Club," don't blame me for ruining it. 

I am Jack's sense of impending doom.

While Colin Hanks talks to him like he's Jiminy Cricket, no other character has truly acknowledged his presences.  The camera played tricks on us last episode, but the tied up girl truly did not do anything to prove to me that EJO was actually real. 

My overall impression is that this season has given us a little time to breathe, and while that may not be the most interesting television right now, I think it will go a long way in helping the longevity of the show.  I can't wait to see where they go from here.

NFL Week Sev-On! But You Just Hit G8...

An obscure movie reference in the title of the post?  This may already be on its way downhill, but let's check in with the action around the league. 

- The Bears get a HUGE win in London.  Beating the Bucs is big.  At 4-3, they are at the Bears are in the exact same position they were last year at this same time.  More importantly, they beat a contending team on a big stage to prove they are legit. 

On a side note that is becoming more and more personal to me, PAY MATT FORTE.  Just pay him.  What in the fuck are the Bears waiting for?  Does Jerry Angelo even talk with the coaching staff?  Wouldn't it be a smart idea to sign Forte to a reasonable deal before the season rather than allow him to be 80% of the Bears offense just to prove how valuable he is?  At this point, the Bears are going to have to ridiculously overpay Forte, or risk losing him to free agency (or franchise him and make him angry.)  It is an unbelievably counter intuitive bargaining strategy. 

- FOX TV scheduling fucked me.  Earlier in the week, the Comcast guide said "Chicago vs. Tampa Bay" was going to be on at 10am.  Unfortunately, after waking from my beer induced coma from the night before, I found the Falcons/Lions game on my TV.  Shit.  I hadn't made alternate plans, so I just watched the Lions/Falcons game.  It was a decent game, but I was angry the entire time.  At least the Lions lost- suck it Detroit.  I already hate you overachieving assholes.

- The Packers are vulnerable.  Don't get me wrong, they are still the best team in the NFL.  But they are vulnerable.  Their game against the Christian Ponder led Vikings proved it.  Aaron Rodgers and Co. are sick, but I get the feeling they are beatable. 

- So sorry, G$.  Your Redskins have been exposed as frauds.  I really thought they were legit this year, but now I'm having second thoughts.  I agree that people make too much of one week in the NFL, and John Beck could help the offense after more time with the starters, however, I thought the Redskins had a stronger defense than what they demonstrated on Sunday.  Good luck with all that...

- The Saints were UNREAL on Sunday night.  62-7?!  I knew the Colts are bad without Peyton Manning, but I didn't realize they were that bad.  I'll talk about it more during the fantasy football update, but I had Drew Brees score 43 points for me in this game and he wasn't the top scorer on my own team! 

Fantasy Football Update:

Friends & Family:

CORE 63 - McDouchebag 92

I give up on this team.  Phillip Rivers is a joke and I'll never draft him ever again. 

Cali Not Keepers:

Peppermill High Rollers 137 - Crafts Crushers Slow Strokers 72

My team is still the best, by far, in this league.  Brees, Arian Foster and Matt Forte dominated this week as they have for most of the season.  Until anyone decides to stop me, I plan to continue bending my opponents over and abusing them in the dirtiest of hotel rooms.  Stop me, if you can. 

MSFL:

Murder Panties 185 - Casey Anthony's Rack 71

Since Foster and Brees are also on this team, I of course took care of the business in this league as well.  While they have Ray Rice left, I can't imagine he has a 115 point game in store for us on Monday Night. 

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I am awfully happy with the results as a whole this week.  Bears win and two of my fantasy teams are killing it.  Ain't nothing wrong with that!

Almost... to... the... weekend...

Well, shit.  I'm struggling for a topic today.  Writing 5 days a week is no joke!  I'll just cover a quick hodge-podge of topics and then move into the weekend:

- Oye!  The Bears are playing the Tuberculous Buccaneers in London on Sunday, and I'm excited for the game.  I'm quite confused about how good either team truly is, but I think the picture might be more clear after the dust settles on the pitch.  This will be a fun match-up of the old NFC Central.  Is Tampa wearing their old uniforms?  That would be pretty damn nostalgic (also, it would be like looking at vomit on my TV, which fits the Bucs perfectly.) 

- The new album "Gift Horse" by Stephen Kellogg & The Sixers is worth a listen.  It is solid Rock/Pop with a bit of a Country twang (Country that is pleasant rather than unbearable.)  Here is a sample:



- Alex from The Damnwells is playing at Red Devil Lounge in SF on Sunday. I can't go and I'm bummed. I'm sure it will be a great show, so if you're around The City on Sunday, I highly recommend stopping in. Show starts at 7:30pm.

- This weekend will be my first two-day weekend in a few weeks. I need it. My brain has turned as mushy as The Situation's after he smashed it into a goddamn concrete wall. I literally want to pull a Ron Swanson and tell my boss the exact number of vacation hours I've accrued and let them know that I'm taking all of them immediately. However, that is definitely not happening, so on we go. I will say that I'm excited because occasional commenter Dick Tracy is having a party at his house tomorrow so there will be plenty of beers to drink and food to eat. I might drink myself into a coma. We'll have to see...

Enjoy the weekend. Go Bears and go beers!

Highly Overused Metaphors

Bryant Gumble recently compared David Stern and the NBA owners to plantation owners... yada yada yada. For whatever reason, people LOVE to use the most tragic examples of world history and compare them to current events- no matter how ludicrous the analogy may be. Let's look at this analogy and two other recent ones to decide how much merit these comparisons have.

Bryant Gumble does NOT mess around.

Bryant Gumble: NBA Players = Slaves (Workers) and David Stern & The Owners (Owners) = Plantation Owners

Workers Avg. Pay - Slaves ($0 + barren living expenses), NBA Players (just over $5 million)

Percentage of business revenue going toward workers - Slaves (0%), NBA Players (under the recently expired deal, 57%)

Hmmm...

Look, I agree that my blog is not the haven of informative research (and it never will be) but I know off the top of my head that Michael Jordan and Jay-Z are both involved in ownership groups of NBA teams. Now, that's at least two more African-American owners in the NBA today than were plantation owners back before the Civil War.

A more proper analogy would one of a giant business pushing around its highly valuable employees. The NBA makes zero money without the players, however owners put a ton of their cash on the line as well to bring the product to the masses. They should strike a fair deal that works for both parties, but laying the "plantation" comparison on the situation is simply not fair.

Hank Williams, Jr.: President Obama = Hitler

BOCEPHUS!

I know, I know. This isn't a political blog, but off the top of my head, this is another unfair comparison. You can absolutely hate Obama's political views or actions, but a Hitler analogy is just not correct. Hitler took control of Germany using a Nazi force of Gestapo, then began to wipe "undesirable" races off the face of the European continent. Obama was voted in via a democratic process and still has to work with checks and balances in the three branch governmental system.

I agree that when inspecting Bocephus' statement, he's not exactly calling Obama "Hitler" in context, but he needless dropped the "Hitler" card on top of the Uno pile. He could've said, "They go together like Larry and Balki from 'Perfect Strangers!'" Or alternatively, "They go together like Felix and Oscar from 'The Odd Couple!'" His main point was to say that it was odd that Obama was playing golf with a notable Republican and that he was not for it. Now, besides the fact that having no tolerance for bi-partisanship is small-minded, the Hitler comparison was not necessary. Enjoy not singing for Monday Night Football (AKA his only stream of revenue for the last 25 years.)

Adrian Peterson: NFL Owers (Slave Masters) and NFL Players (Slaves)

Adrian Peterson putting in work on the Cotton (Bowl) field.

AP used a similar analogy to Bryant Gumble. Most of my arguments from the NBA comparison apply here, though I can't think of any Black owners in the NFL. I will give AP some credit, the slave comparison is at least more valid in this situation due to the fact that football players literally destroy their bodies playing this sport which is not the standard in the NBA (I'm not saying it never happens, just that football is a more brutal game than basketball.) While it is more valid, it is still way off. When people use slavery as a comparison to any business where the workers average over $1 million dollars in average salary, they are trivializing the history of this country. Slavery was an awful mark on our country's history with plenty of stories of bravery from both Black and White people to finally outlaw its practice. Professional athletes are not slaves. They are being paid handsomely to play a game that they theoretically love (or at the very least, they make tons of cash working hard.)

Politics and business can be unbelievably contentious. It is important to keep some perspective in today's modern age and realize that your slavery and Hitler comparisons are probably not applicable any longer (if they ever where.)